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So, there's this guy....

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
I know what you're all going to think.

So, this is the guy who asked me out on a date in 7th grade(i'm not 19). He took me to my junior prom, & offered to be a "back-up" date for my senior prom. He so sweet! His locker & mine were right next to each other. I simply wouldn't date him, though. I have never been on a date. I choose to have male friends instead of boyfriends. Three weeks ago, he took me out to supper. Just called me out of the blue & we ate Chinese. Tonight, he calls me to invite me to a movie. First thing my little sister says is "Smoochy smoochy! A movie is romatic!!"

I'm just excited to be going somewhere besides the shelter. I go from home, to help grandma, to the shelter. That's really it.

How on earth do I make sure this guy doesn't think it's a date? Sorry, but I'm not ready to date yet. Maybe after I graduate from college. For now, I want to help homeless animals & graduate from college.
post #2 of 19
Send him some yellow roses maybe?

I met hubby a month before I turned 19, so I don't think 19 is too young to be serious.
post #3 of 19
Well, you've got such an unusual attitude about it, I don't know what to recommend! I think your best bet is to chat with him about it when you meet up with him. Tell him you think he's a real sweetheart, but you didn't want there to be any misunderstandings.....

Honesty is the best policy!

(BTW, I met my hubby when I was 17. We did date for the 1 1/2 years of high school that were left at the time. We went our separate ways when I headed off to college and he joined the army. He looked me up 12 years later, and we got married three months after he contacted me. We've been married 13 years this December!)

A final P.S.: And while you're right - boys and dating can be a terrible distraction in life. But you're so young - don't forget not to take every day and everything in life too seriously! If I didn't have my fun in high school and used college to travel the world, I don't think I would have ever gotten to enjoy life the same way without the pressures of "adulthood" and responsibilities of work intruding.

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

Laurie
post #4 of 19
Just enjoy yourselves. If you're worried about what to "classify" your dinner as...then you won't have fun. Just relax and take it easy . Oh also, I highly recommend www.cosmopolitan.com hehe every Cosmo girl's guide to sticky situations Good luck and remember- stop trying to classify....just enjoy and have a great time
post #5 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by white cat lover
For now, I want to help homeless animals & graduate from college.
Tell him that and exactly that.
post #6 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR
Just enjoy yourselves. If you're worried about what to "classify" your dinner as...then you won't have fun. Just relax and take it easy . Oh also, I highly recommend www.cosmopolitan.com hehe every Cosmo girl's guide to sticky situations Good luck and remember- stop trying to classify....just enjoy and have a great time
There are many ways to keep things in check and you don't want to hurt a great friendship. Just have a GREAT time!! (and remember to give us the scoop afterwards )
post #7 of 19
Well, as you are talking, you can talk about how important animals are to you, and your plans for college. How you are going to finish, just sort of part of the conversation. (And don't forget to give us the scoop afterwards.)

I must say that I admire you. I was boy-crazy since I can remember, and always had a boyfriend. I really think I focused too much on that rather than on what I wanted to do with my life - so congrats for having your head on straight!
post #8 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by kluchetta
I must say that I admire you. I was boy-crazy since I can remember, and always had a boyfriend. I really think I focused too much on that rather than on what I wanted to do with my life - so congrats for having your head on straight!


I was going to graduate school right after college...but got married instead. That's not to say you can't date if you change your mind though. It's your life, and your priorities, and if you simply tell him the truth, any guy that's worth it and "the one" can wait til you accomplish what you want to. Keep us posted!
post #9 of 19
LOL! IF your worried about being confrontational, just give him a playful slug in the shoulder and remind him what a good friend he is.

Unfortuntaly if he wants more, you might not hear from him again. That's always the downside to the whole boys thing.
post #10 of 19
Thread Starter 
I thought about dragging out the old "boys have cooties" line, but decided I was at least 10 years too old for that.

So, I got the brilliant idea to tell him all about my kitties. That was a dumb decision. I think he was genuinley interested! I told him that they are my kids & whomever I marry gets them & the dogs along with me. He said that would be great. I took him to the shelter with me. We went in the "ringworm" room(it contains 14 cats w/ ringworm ). I walked him to the cage w/ 4 three month old kittens in it. They have really loose stools & they lost lots of hair. Didn't phase him one bit!!

After the movie last night, he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner & a movie today. I told him no, I had to go to the shelter. He then offered to come volunteer with me. How many guys want to clean up cat poop on a date?!?!

I told him I didn't want to date a guy, he said he'd wait until I'm ready. I think I sent the wrong signals to him! I tried telling him disgusting stories & talk a ton about my "babies", but I think that got him more interested.

I have to give the guy credit, though. When I was in high school & going through a tough time healthwise, he still went places with me. Even when my "friends" quit talking to me, he still did.

Oh yeah, we saw some guys who were a year behind us in high school. Today, everyone was asking me how my date was. Keep in mind I live in town population 1000. Even people in the next town over knew about it. Heck, people who live 30 minutes away knew about it! I guess no one informed me that I was officially dating him!

Did I leave out any details? Oh yeah, we saw Pirates of the Carribbean 2, I liked the first one better, but dare I say it? Orlando Bloom had his shirt off!
post #11 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by white cat lover
So, this is the guy who asked me out on a date in 7th grade(i'm not 19).
Well OK, but if you're 18 and still in 7th grade, I say take him up on the offer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by white cat lover
How on earth do I make sure this guy doesn't think it's a date? Sorry, but I'm not ready to date yet. Maybe after I graduate from college. For now, I want to help homeless animals graduate from college.
I'm sorry, but you're never going to get homeless animals into college, let alone getting them to graduate.
post #12 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeAnderson
Well OK, but if you're 18 and still in 7th grade, I say take him up on the offer.



I'm sorry, but you're never going to get homeless animals into college, let alone getting them to graduate.
Not even with clicker training?
post #13 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by white cat lover
I thought about dragging out the old "boys have cooties" line, but decided I was at least 10 years too old for that.

So, I got the brilliant idea to tell him all about my kitties. That was a dumb decision. I think he was genuinley interested! I told him that they are my kids & whomever I marry gets them & the dogs along with me. He said that would be great. I took him to the shelter with me. We went in the "ringworm" room(it contains 14 cats w/ ringworm ). I walked him to the cage w/ 4 three month old kittens in it. They have really loose stools & they lost lots of hair. Didn't phase him one bit!!

After the movie last night, he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner & a movie today. I told him no, I had to go to the shelter. He then offered to come volunteer with me. How many guys want to clean up cat poop on a date?!?!

I told him I didn't want to date a guy, he said he'd wait until I'm ready. I think I sent the wrong signals to him! I tried telling him disgusting stories & talk a ton about my "babies", but I think that got him more interested.

I have to give the guy credit, though. When I was in high school & going through a tough time healthwise, he still went places with me. Even when my "friends" quit talking to me, he still did.

Oh yeah, we saw some guys who were a year behind us in high school. Today, everyone was asking me how my date was. Keep in mind I live in town population 1000. Even people in the next town over knew about it. Heck, people who live 30 minutes away knew about it! I guess no one informed me that I was officially dating him!

Did I leave out any details? Oh yeah, we saw Pirates of the Carribbean 2, I liked the first one better, but dare I say it? Orlando Bloom had his shirt off!

He sounds like an awesome guy.
post #14 of 19
Well, he'll make an awesome friend, either way.
post #15 of 19
It's good that he's given you the space to "be just friends". He does sound like a great guy. My former husband & I went through school together & were "buds" till we graduated high school. I lost contact with him for a few years, till we met during his summer college break. We started hanging out again, and one night, we kissed good-night! As they say, the rest is history. He made me feel so treasured & we had so much fun together - it's hard not to miss those days, but at least I have my memories.
post #16 of 19
Actualy, i dont know how old you are, but id say go for it!!
IF you have your mind set on what you want to do with your life, this guy doesnt sound like he is going to intrude, it sounds like he is going to help you through a wonderful Journey.

Just give him a chance!
post #17 of 19
Thread Starter 
OK, sorry. I just looked back at my first post. It's supposed to be (I'm now 19).
post #18 of 19
I'd say go for it. Tell him you'd love to date but you can't handle the clingy thing. Tell him that if wants to spend time together, that you can do it at the shelter together. He sounds like a winner. I met my fiance when I was 17, two years later and I'm planning my wedding!

Trying something new, you might like it!
post #19 of 19


As a guy here. You may have to beat it into his head that you just want to be friends. IE. dont let him pay for everything. split the cost of movies dinner etc. Guys will often see women that say i just want to be friends so they will stick around and change her mind SOmetimes it workes sometimes it does not.

Anyway, tell him upfront and keep saying it v
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