Serious behavior question in children.....(lengthy)

Well I am home on my lunch break and thought I'd give an update. Jimmy was in our room starting at 9 this morning. At 9:45 our kids were at their learning centers. One child was playing at the sensory table and Jimmy was trying to push her out of the way. The girl said "No, Jimmy!" and Jimmy bit her right as I and the other teachers turned to see him biting her. Cara(one of the other teachers) grabbed Jimmy away and I ran with the girl to get her ice. It immediately swelled, bruised and there is CLEARLY a HUGE bite mark. As I was coming back, the cook came and handed me another bag of ice saying that Cara had called her and said that another child was bit. He tried to get to our sensroy table, not even touching Jimmy, and Jimmy bit him. I started shaking when I got back to my room and saw it was one of my boys. Lucy-the other teacher-was holding Jimmy,face out, and Cara was holding the boy that had gotten bit. I was so angry I walked into the bathroom with the little girl that had gotten bit first and started crying and hugging her. I got so mad I had made myself cry. I am FURIOUS! He had only stayed two hours today.

We have tried talking to Jimmy but I don't think he understands. Mom and dad made a bite book but he doesn't get it. It's not like the kids are picking on him. My kids were minding their business and he does it. The parents have tried rewards and he still doesn't get it. I am at a loss. I don't know what else to do. Before he gets tested monday, he will be in our room half a day....

These kids are my babies and if they don't find something wrong with Jimmy, then I'm afraid I cannot work there. It is too emotional for me and I can't see my kids get hurt all the time. Jimmy was trying to bite Lucy while she held him. When he learned he couldn't bite her, he started pinching her and kicking her.

It is so nice that you guys have all this advice. I am praying they find something wrong. Not only to help him but so my kids aren't getting hurt constantly. Please keep any advice you have coming and keep us all in your prayers.

My daughter during daycare had to be moved up in rooms because she was a bit excelerated in her play (she was bored with the 2 year old puzzles and they would frequently have to go to the 4-5 year old rooms to get her those puzzles) she frequently prefers to play alone and she mouths objects (she has never bitten another child, though in her kindergarden class she was agressive toward one child for tapping her on the shoulder--she mistook it for hitting).

My daugther has Asperger's Syndrome, which is a form of Autism and the occurrance of Autism is on the rise....in young children and it comes in many forms, not just the standard, no talking in their own world form.

It is something that would warrent the parents looking into, especially if it's affecting his development.

It's worth mentioning but cautiously. As some parents tend to get offended at the mention that their child has some kind of a problem and are not as accepting of 'disorders' as other parents.

I am so sorry to find this out.
But please don't quit the job you love because of this. The other children need you there to protect them. They love you and we know you love them. I don't understand how the director has put up with this... I would sit her down and let her/him know that if this isn't taken care of you might be forced to leave (if thats what you decided to do )

I just wish she would understand that instead of losing this one child, she may lose 5 or even 10 if this does not stop.....

And obviously moving him up is NOT the solution.........

Biting is a sign of aggression, not boredom. I don't understand how he is allowed to do this in a pre-school. The ones I know have a 3 stike rule. Then your out of the daycare. 10 times in 1 day??? Who are the grown ups? He needed to be seperated away from the others to protect the other children... Most of the time, biting is just a small phase, all kids will try it once or twice, but it's corrected. I hope your babies are all ok...

That little boy really needs to have one one one with and adult and it is the only way ensure that the other children don't get bit and once he is comfortable with the adult slowly introduce play with only one other child.

I think that you should not give up on Jimmy. Please don't. He needs your help just as much as all the other kids if not more. It's easy just to say get rid of him, but if someone doesn't work with him, how long is he going to keep behaving this way????

There are children like this in my son's current daycare. They have a special group and the group leader workes with them one on one for an hour each (when one is in one on one time, the rest are with the other kids) and then they have an hour group with just 3 kids and then they move to the rest of the daycare and participate with all the other children and in this daycare there are only 2 adults for about 20 kids, then J. for the special group.

Originally Posted by IloveSiamese

That little boy really needs to have one one one with and adult and it is the only way ensure that the other children don't get bit and once he is comfortable with the adult slowly introduce play with only one other child.

I think that you should not give up on Jimmy. Please don't. He needs your help just as much as all the other kids if not more. It's easy just to say get rid of him, but if someone doesn't work with him, how long is he going to keep behaving this way????

There are children like this in my son's current daycare. They have a special group and the group leader workes with them one on one for an hour each (when one is in one on one time, the rest are with the other kids) and then they have an hour group with just 3 kids and then they move to the rest of the daycare and participate with all the other children and in this daycare there are only 2 adults for about 20 kids, then J. for the special group.

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Sorry to laugh but I was using "Jimmy" as a hypothetical name...
Just thought I'd point that out

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

Sorry to laugh but I was using "Jimmy" as a hypothetical name...

Just thought I'd point that out

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That's actually what Courtney is calling the boy.....

I'm sorry you're having to go through all this, for him to be biting totally unprovoked is a definite sign that something is wrong. I can't believe your director has allowed this to go on as long as she has, I know that if it was my child being bitten/at risk for being bitten, she would've been pulled out of that daycare so fast your director's head would spin. As far as this boy getting special attention, or whatever, that's not the daycare's call, it's up to the parents to arrange that kind of help, and if your daycare does not offer that individual care, then the parents need to find one that does. From what you told me before it seems like these parents need to quit denying that their child has an issue and try to correct it. I hope everything goes better on Monday for you and your kids

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

That's actually what Courtney is calling the boy.....

I'm sorry you're having to go through all this, for him to be biting totally unprovoked is a definite sign that something is wrong. I can't believe your director has allowed this to go on as long as she has, I know that if it was my child being bitten/at risk for being bitten, she would've been pulled out of that daycare so fast your director's head would spin. As far as this boy getting special attention, or whatever, that's not the daycare's call, it's up to the parents to arrange that kind of help, and if your daycare does not offer that individual care, then the parents need to find one that does. From what you told me before it seems like these parents need to quit denying that their child has an issue and try to correct it. I hope everything goes better on Monday for you and your kids

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I didn't even see that! I was just pulling a name out of thin air!

Originally Posted by Oscarsmommy

a small child-Jimmy is what I will call him-....Jimmy starting in our room.......

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I thought we were all calling him jimmy

Anyways, I think I agree Katiemae about him finding a daycare that can give him the attention he needs and on that one on one basis.

I don't know about there, but here you can get grant money for kids who need extra attention, so maybe you coud have an extra person or something.
Just a thought.

I don't understand why you are being asked to sacrifice all 19 kids plus yourself and the other two teachers just because of one kid. He most probably does have serious problems, but maybe he doesn't and is just plain mean. Either way, it's not right that you are forced to deal with it, and his parents should hire someone to be at home with him during the day alone so he doesn't endanger the health of everyone else. I can't even fathom letting him stay. You would have been kicked out of regular school for doing this a long time ago, so why should a daycare put up with it? And before anyone jumps on me about compassion for the little boy: Being in this daycare is obviously not what is best for him either, if it's upsetting him so much. And perhaps once he gets kicked out his parents will actually realize there's a problem and get him the help he needs.

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

I didn't even see that! I was just pulling a name out of thin air!

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Ah, the amazing power of suggestion!!

You know, before jumping to: he has some sort of brain disorder, let's take a look at cats:

When Whitey first came into our household he was quite agressive with our other cats about being dominant. He would jump on the other cats backs and bite the back of their necks.

I think little Jimmy is one of two things before I jump to a mental disorder:

1) Maybe at home he gets told negative things "Your too small Jimmy" "Your stupid Jimmy" instead of positives. So in Daycare he feels the need to make up for being small by being a "bully" to the other kids and biting them.

2) He is not disciplined at home and is allowed to do whatever he wants to. When comes into daycare and is told "no" or given other boundries, he doesn't comprehend so he acts out and rebels against the boundries because mom and dad don't set them for him.

Thats just IMO and i know it doesn't help your situation currently. I'm also not saying that mental disorder is not possible, it could very well be that he's autistic or ADD of ADHD...I just like to think of the possibilities that could be happening outside of daycare before I jump to drugging a child.

Originally Posted by lunasmom

2) He is not disciplined at home and is allowed to do whatever he wants to. When comes into daycare and is told "no" or given other boundries, he doesn't comprehend so he acts out and rebels against the boundries because mom and dad don't set them for him.

Thats just IMO and i know it doesn't help your situation currently. I'm also not saying that mental disorder is not possible, it could very well be that he's autistic or ADD of ADHD...I just like to think of the possibilities that could be happening outside of daycare before I jump to drugging a child.

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I think this one is extremely possible. One of the whole problems with my neice is that her mom thinks that saying "no" is "mean", and she never heard no in her life. Then when someone tries to discipline her, all heck breaks loose. 2 seems really, really young for all this though. It's just hard to fathom that a child that young could be so angry...

I believe that quite a few people have sat the child down and explained to him that this is not okay but I don't think he understands. I honestly don't think he grasps the concept that you don't bite your friends and that it hurts. I can't see my children getting bit because his parents think he is bored. We have one child who will be 4 in August and is EXTREMELY intelligent and does not go to this type of aggression and never would. I do know that he is VERY bored in our class and will be moved up very soon. It is just not normal for this behavior. And I don't know if I mentioned that Jimmy will not even be 3 until the end of September. Nothing seems to register in his head that this is not okay. *sigh* I am so exhausted worrying about how my parents will react when the kids get more and more.

To answer some questions:

Our daycare does not have the experience to deal with a child like this. A lot of rooms are short-staffed as it is and it would be very difficult to hire a person just for one child.

Just a side-note:

I LOVE this website! You guys are always here to lend an ear when someone needs to just get some things off their chests. I don't know what I would do if you guys weren't here with all this support