Serious behavior question in children.....(lengthy)

Okay so as most of you know, I am a preschool teacher at a daycare. I am in the threes room so we have children from 2 and a half to 3 and a half years of age. Just recently I have been hearing more and more from the twos room about a small child-Jimmy is what I will call him-excessively biting. Not the biting you would imagine a small child doing but actually leaving whelts and almost to the point of breaking skin, sometimes accomplishing that. He speaks and is very talkative. He would rather play alone and tends to really bite the children when he IS alone and wants to stay that way. The teachers in his room end up with 10-12 incidents a day with one out of four teachers with him at all times. He is getting tested on Monday by a psychologist to see what could be going on.

I wouldn't be worrying so much but found out today that his parents think he could be bored and my boss has decided to move him to my room. I am PETRIFIED for my children. He came to my room towrads the end of the day and my stomach got really upset and I got really nervous. My children are VERY friendly and are in his face. My boss was supposed to speak to the parents about removing Jimmy from the school today and ended up moving him up I am furious as is everyone else. I am at a loss. We think his parents are in denial because he "doesn't act like this at home".

Does anyone know what this could be? We thought autism and I know a few people who have it or children that have it here, but I know speaking is hard for autistic children to learn. Someone help me because I am VERY nervous about Jimmy starting in our room.......

Well, my niece used to have a problem with biting. She mostly bit her parents, not other children. What I have learned recently is that she has ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and possibly bipolar as well. I'm not one for medicating children, but you can tell a REAL difference if she takes her meds or not. She's almost 10, and has been on meds for a year or so.

How many kids do you have in your class, and how many teachers/aides do you have?

Personally, I think a child with ongoing behavior problems should be removed from the day care, not promoted. How old is he? Maybe he would do better with 5 year olds who could at least understand to leave him alone!

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

How many kids do you have in your class, and how many teachers/aides do you have?

Personally, I think a child with ongoing behavior problems should be removed from the day care, not promoted. How old is he? Maybe he would do better with 5 year olds who could at least understand to leave him alone!

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We have 19 in our class and 3 teachers and it is hard enough without him

My director was supposed to have him removed but obviously doesn't have the guts to stick to her guns......wouldn't you rather lose one child than 10? Parent compaints have SKY-ROCKETED in the twos room.......

He is still two and will be three in September.....

This could be redirected aggression due to something stressful happening in his life. Have his parents recently divorced, or has there been a major change in his life recently?
It's quite possible that he isn't acting like this at home because either no one is paying enough attention or because he feels like there is a situation that he can't control. You may want to dig deeper here, usually there is problem that the parents aren't talking about.

There was a child like this in my son's class when he was around the same age. He was constantly biting and hitting. Once he bit my son so hard he had to go to the E.R. and have an antibiotic shot. After that I demanded the school remove him or I was going to remove my son... they talked to the parents and had him removed from the preschool. If I were you I would try and talk to the director and let her know that if other parents catch wind of this child biting other children in 2 different classes (if he does it in yours too) that parents might start withdrawing the kids and instead of losing 4-5 kids (or more) they would only lose one. It might prompt the parents to look into what's going on with him. Some people have to have it put right in thier face in black and white before they take action about it. Sounds like he might have some anger issuses. Do you know how long he's been in child care? He might not be adjusting to it well and could be used to being the only child?

Mom and dad are still together. I met them today.

Don't mean to sound harsh but I do know that some children with mental disorders sometimes look different too and he does look different. (Sorry if that offends anyone)

It is just difficult. These kids are like my babies. I spend 40 hours+ with them a week and am devestated thinking that they could be harmed

I can see how it's hard to deal with it. My preschooler is VERY attached to his teacher and I know how she loves him and her other children.

Don't worry about offending anyone. The child I was talking about also "looked" different. I think they later found out he in fact DID have a serious SERIOUS mental condition. Maybe tomorrow when he's picked up talk to the parents about maybe getting some testing done so that you know where on an "acedemic" level he is and where you should start working with him. (Not that you're going to or want to but they might fall for it and have a mental evaluation done on him this way).

He is getting tested on monday by a psychologist that will come to his house. Then they are going to see if they can come to my daycare.

It might be wrong to say but I hope that they find something so they can get help and no one else gets hurt.

I have no idea what it could even be that is causing this. Anyone have any clues at all?

19 toddlers with 3 teachers? That doesn't even sound legal! There needs to be more of a plan than just putting him into your room. The director should stay to observe him initially, or you should get another helper to keep an eye on him.

What are your discipline techniques? He needs a good plan for time outs, consequences, etc. I've had my kids in day care with a biter, and let me tell you, if there were multiple incidents my child would have been removed. My kids have stayed with disabled kids, and even an autistic child, but the irrationally violent little ones need more supervision than it sounds like you can provide.

Is there someone over the director, who you can enlist as back-up. Poor little kid, he needs a safe place, too, but endangering other kids is not the way to go! Maybe the psychologist will have some ideas on motivating him.

I think like suggested he has mental problems or anger issues. He probably IS doing it at home but the parents are saying he isn't because they don't want him removed from care or they are scared of what the results might be

I just feel terrible for all the children involved including the bitter.

There probably is some sort of disability or termoil is this kid's life. Most aggression comes from being fustrated or they are mimicking agression that they've seen in other places.

I wish you luck and I hope you can work this out with the parents of this little boy to figure out what's going on so he doesn't have to leave.

Here in daycares, it is one adult to every 3 baby/infant aged child, 5 younger toddlers to one adult and then 10 older toddler/preschool aged to everyone adult.

Hi.

I have been a professional nanny for 10 years, and a Pre-school Music Teacher/ Director for the last 5.

As far as your Teacher/Child ratio...19 to 3. That is pretty dang good. I certianly wish the state of Texas required a ratio like this. Right now, we have 10-15 to 1 teacher. (depending on the age)

My questions to this child's previous teachers would be, what was he doing before he bit. What was the environment in the room like. Was it noisy? Was it quiet time? I believe you said that he was alone when he bit a child that came up to him? Maybe he is over stimulated and biting is getting him the time out that he wants.

What disipline is being given when he bites? Autistic children do not have a very well developed vocabulary. So I wouldn't be so quick as to say he is autistic, BUT, there are many other disorders that could be causing him to react this way to over-stimulation. It is important to have a spot that they can call their own, and that they can go to when they start feeling overwhelmed. Since he is such a good talker, let him know that it is okay to bite food, or a pillow. But we do not bite our friends. It hurts them. Let him know that if he is mad, he can use his words and say "NO!" to a friend instead of biting.

What is the situation when he bites?

What is being done about it after he bites?

Is he getting more attention from teachers AFTER he bites than before?
(kids don't care WHAT kind of attention they are getting, weather they are being loved on or yelled at. Attention is attention. It is important to keep the negative attention at a low, and over-do it on the positive reinforcement. That usually swings attention-mongers the other way, and they start to do GOOD things to get praise instead)

With that high of a Teacher/child ratio, you should very easily be able to put a teacher with him. One on one. Even just to observe.

I will be happy to help you in any way I can!

There are a number of things that could be going on here...it could be ADHD, attachment disorder, sensory integration disorder, bi-polar disorder....the list goes on & on. So, that is for a psychologist to figure out what the root of the issue is and how to help him. However, the director of your school/daycare should realize the horrendous liability involved in allowing this child to remain in your facility. In my city a few years back there was a boy just like this....he bit other kids at least 3-4 times a day and typically to the point of leaving horrible marks & bruises and/or breaking the skin. The owners of this daycare tried to keep giving him more chances and told the parents that if this did not stop soon, they'd have to take him out of the preschool. Well, the threats were never backed up with any action and the kid eventually bit another little girl in the face and tore part of her cheek open with his teeth. Why? Because she took the yellow crayon and HE was thinking of using that one next when he was done with the green. The little girl had to have plastic surgery and the daycare had to shut down after the lawsuit over the situation. The daycare was found to be grossly negligent by endangering the safety of the other children by allowing this one boy to stay. So, maybe your director needs to think about THAT!
Good luck!!!

My son used to get bit by other younger children and I never once wanted to have the child responsible to leave and actually the daycares here are not allowed to tell the parents which child has done the biting.

oh tricky.
He clearly has issues.
All you are doing to sort him out needs to happen clearly.
In the meantime have you tried a pillow for him to sit on, on the floor so he has his own space.
Also a biting toy. so he bites that not a child.
A basket or box of his own toys just for him. I know its not a good idea normally but might ease things for now.
He is only two. it is a fragile social age.
I have known biters but once- 3 times a week not this often. he is clearly not coping in day care.
1-2 is the worst age range for day care.
Wonder if he would be better suited at a childmiders with just a few other children once these issues calm a bit.
Don't forget to update.

Originally Posted by IloveSiamese

My son used to get bit by other younger children and I never once wanted to have the child responsible to leave and actually the daycares here are not allowed to tell the parents which child has done the biting.

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Yeah but when a child is old enough to tell you "Mommy, Jimmy just bit me" ya kinda know... and when enough children are saying the same child did it and it's biting to the point of hospitialization, then yes, the child needs to be removed for the safety of other children

While I think the situation definitely needs to be looked in to, maybe promoting him into a class of older children will actually be a good thing. I'm assuming, since you used the word promoting, that he was with younger kids. You say he speaks well, perhaps he was just getting frustrated and, instead of having a disorder, he is exceptionally bright. My niece was the daycare biter until they finally moved her out of the infant room (at 15 months, because she started walking). When faced with the prospect of retaliation from the bigger kids, she quit biting outright!

Originally Posted by lookingglass

This could be redirected aggression due to something stressful happening in his life. Have his parents recently divorced, or has there been a major change in his life recently?
It's quite possible that he isn't acting like this at home because either no one is paying enough attention or because he feels like there is a situation that he can't control. You may want to dig deeper here, usually there is problem that the parents aren't talking about.

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Some of the best advice I've ever learned re: children is that sometimes the child hardest to love is the one who needs love the most. I have seen this behavior, too, and both times, in the end, turned out that the boy was being mistreated by the father
It seems to be what mammals do when something's going on. Horses & abused cats tend to be unapproachable & lash out.
As difficult as it will be, perhaps you will be the one who can take the higher road & find compassion for this child. IMO, since you are a cat person, your "reading body language" skills are most likely finely tuned; your class is "outgoing & friendly", IMO, due in large part to your presence allowing the children to feel accepted & safe. The director obviously has great confidence in you!!
Regarding the parents of the bitten children, I can certainly commiserate. My youngest daughter is disabled, and when younger, was usu. the child who was bitten because she was less able to defend herself. Trust me, it took a lot of encouragement to get over my anger & hate towards the biter - it turned out his dad was doing very nasty things - and the dad was a classic "super charmer" - had everyone fooled for such a long time

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

Yeah but when a child is old enough to tell you "Mommy, Jimmy just bit me" ya kinda know... and when enough children are saying the same child did it and it's biting to the point of hospitialization, then yes, the child needs to be removed for the safety of other children

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I never thought about it that way...I know that child that was biting my son did it to others but the age range was 14 months to 20 months so a bit younger and they couldn't really say who was biting them.

I just feel bad for all the kids.