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Not Fitting In - Page 4

post #91 of 105
As of right now, TCS has 2,313 active members. I am willing to bet you can find a few kindred spirits out of that group.

I think every member feels like they don't fit in when they first join. I know I did. It's no different than trying to fit in with a new group of people in real life. You can't expect an instant connection. What you can do is reach out to others.

Have you seen a post that you really admired or felt the person was in a similar situation as you? Send them a PM and let them know. They may appreciate knowing others feel the same as them. If your PM isn't well-received, don't feel like a misfit, move on. You have to remember that many people have busy lives, and that comes first. Just like in real life, you are never going to "click" with everyone.

As others have said, broaden your scope and check out other sections of the site. Many members have bonded over a sick rescued kitty, or over the loss of a beloved pet.
post #92 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouts mom
The only people who don't fit in here are people that don't like cats or have their cats best interest in mind.
Well said
post #93 of 105
I really hope you'll try to not feel that way... I sorta feel as if I know you, cause I have read so much of your history, and your past... and all the struggles and triumphs you have had to endure. I look forward to your posts, and notice that you always try to help make someone feel better about themselves or their situation. I must have missed whatever happened in IMO, I haven't had much time lately to visit in there. Either way, try not to take it too personally. Try to remember that everyone has their own opinions, and we are all entitled to it. Even if it's different than yours or mine, I try to appreciate and understand someone elses point of view. What makes you different is what makes you beautiful!

I have felt that I am taken the wrong way occasionally... I am a joker, so I always say something funny and maybe inappropriate... like I wanted to beat my husband in the head with a frying pan! And then someone will reply, spousal abuse is wrong. I'm like duh! I was kidding! But you can't see that when you type... and I assume people will know that I am kidding. But not everyone has my sparkling sense of humor (insert sarcasm here)!

Also, on a side note: every once in awhile when I start to get down and depressed about my marriage, either I need more QT or affection cause hubby works too much, my SIL reminds me of how much we have been through... she says "hunny, if you & Tom can survive living with the inlaws, you can survive anything! Most marriages wouldn't survive that, I know mine wouldn't!" (I can totally relate to your current situation, only my IL's are evil!) and she's right... it may not always be perfect, but it's always "us"! Hope you feel better!
post #94 of 105
Thread Starter 
I think like I said alot of it has to do with my own personal issues. Not to mention the stress from the past month and also the weather being cruddy.

And not being able to sleep well.

Thank you all for all your wonderful supportive comments and suggestions, I didn't realize how many people actually looked for my posts.
post #95 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by ButterflyDream
Thank you all for all your wonderful supportive comments and suggestions, I didn't realize how many people actually looked for my posts.
If nothing else came out of this thread (though for me personally, I think it did), than it was a good thread, a useful thread.

It can be hard to tell people that we know we don't really know that we care.
post #96 of 105
I hope all our newer friends and those who are returning after a spell doing other things feel welcome and valued. This is a lovely site and full of wonderful people.

But....just like dropping into a room (ok, make that an enormous room ) full of people who know each other already, it takes a while to get to know people.

Just like everyone here, when I first joined it seemed that everyone on the site knew each other and I was butting in on conversations between friends. Of course it wasn't like that at all, but it can kinda feel that way.

Before long I felt well and truly a part of TCS and now.....well, I have made friends on here who are the closest friends I have. There are loads of other people that I know some well, some not quite so well, but I feel close to them all.

It takes a little time, but it's well worth allowing a bit of time.

If I go through times that are stressful, I try to spend some time concentrating each day on the good things in my life and, just like somebody else said, remembering that these difficult times will pass. When they do I will still be surrounded by the people and kitties that I love. The rest of it really doesn't matter

Wishing you days to come that are full of sunshine and that the days only get better from here
post #97 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by ButterflyDream
I'm not sure what a pram is (a bassinet??).

My son is 2.5 and he still needs to be in a crib cause he won't stay in bed otherwise. Tonight he's been a pain. Let's see, he's moved his crib three times (that's why we took the wheels off) and he removed his clothing as well...and was standing there stark naked.

Oh what a night huh?
I crib with wheels - hmmmm I can imagine that would be quite a challenge with an active toddler - he'll be scooting off all over the house . Good thing you took the wheels off.

My little one never wanted to keep clothing on when they were little - they did outside the house which was a relief. They do get better - 2.5 is such a challenging age for parents. Even so, now my little one is nearly 20, I still look back on those times with real fondness and laugh at the things I found challenging back then.

This is a pram - I guess it's a difference between UK and US terms.
post #98 of 105
Thread Starter 
I am going to be absent from TCS for a while, for one thing my son dropped my computer and busted it so my FIL has to fix it plus I have to work on some of my personal issues and can't 'hide' in the computer like I have been lately. If you haven't noticed anyways I've been spending a great deal of time here trying to escape from my personal life and personal demons, now it is time for me to deal with them.

Perhaps my computer breaking was a way of God telling me that.

I'm using my MILs computer to type this, where as before I was using my laptop. So no messangers either.

Just cause of this thread being titled the way it is, I didn't want anyone to think I up and left.
post #99 of 105
Good luck sorting it all out . I really really hope that everything begins to feel a little calmer around you.

We all look forward to seeing you when you feel ready to come back
post #100 of 105
I hope you feel better soon
post #101 of 105
I'm not that big of a poster here, so I don't know everyone that well...so I feel like an outsider a bit, too. I belong to another forum that is just starting out and it's small, and I love everyone on there...so that feels like "home." I value this site for its members and information, though, so I enjoy posting here.

I just post in response to each post, even if I don't know the full story. I figure support, happiness, anything, can be provided even if I don't know the person I'm posting to. I'm starting to recognize some people...but there a lot of members here, they're all hard to keep track of!
post #102 of 105
Just remember we're here when you're ready to come back, or if you need a quick pick me up!
post #103 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by ButterflyDream
I am going to be absent from TCS for a while, for one thing my son dropped my computer and busted it so my FIL has to fix it plus I have to work on some of my personal issues and can't 'hide' in the computer like I have been lately. If you haven't noticed anyways I've been spending a great deal of time here trying to escape from my personal life and personal demons, now it is time for me to deal with them.

Perhaps my computer breaking was a way of God telling me that.

I'm using my MILs computer to type this, where as before I was using my laptop. So no messangers either.

Just cause of this thread being titled the way it is, I didn't want anyone to think I up and left.
Well, thank you for letting us know. I would have been worried and wondering - as soon as it's fixed come back and say hi!

Good luck sorting out your issues - I'll be sending you vibes while you are away and waiting for your return.
post #104 of 105
Hey Rachele,

We will truely miss you and I wish you the best of luck as you are sorting out all the things you need to deal with. We will be awaiting your return and we're always here for emotional support if needed!
post #105 of 105
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by IloveSiamese
Hey Rachele,

We will truely miss you and I wish you the best of luck as you are sorting out all the things you need to deal with. We will be awaiting your return and we're always here for emotional support if needed!

Thank you, I may be breezing in and out, the crap hit the proverbial fan today, with the living situation as it was and all that. I've been feeling particularly deeply depressed. Everyone has apparently noticed (and here I thought I was hiding it well). What I didn't know was the my FIL used to be a counselor in a psych institution and he is willing to help me through alot of my issues. God bless him.

But I think now that we've had it out basically, we've all noticed the initial tension we've been experiancing in the house has gone down considerably.

I had to lay down this afternoon, cause I took some sleepy medication cause I was overwhelmed (bad me) and hubby brought Pandora and Pearl in to keep me company and they both 'sensing my inner turmoil' curled up next to me and just started to purr and purr and comfort me.

Like I said I may be on and off but I most certainly won't be on all day as I was before.

I didn't realize till I started this thread how many people were actually really really supportive and kind. And also how many of you out there are very much like me in the inner sense. I don't feel quite as 'not fitting in' as I did when I started this thread so I want to thank you all for the comforting words.

Just keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I struggle through this particularlly rough patch I seem to have hit.
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