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Online dating...when do you give your phone number?

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
I am always scared to give out my number and usually talk to someone for a while through IM before giving out my number. I think if we talk about stuff that way, then we'll be more comfortable in real life and know more about each other, therefor be able to talk about more stuff. Sometimes I feel like I should "throw caution to the wind" and meet them sooner instead of wasting time with IM. But I do get worried about the wierdos. I am talking to a guy on myspace and I just gave him my number today, after talking to him for about 2 weeks. He seems fun. I think I am ready to see where this leads. How long do you guys wait or do you wait before giving out info?
post #2 of 16
I actually do not give out my number until after a casual in person meeting, better to gauge the type of person you are dealing with as it is very easy to adopt a different personna online.
post #3 of 16
Well I chatted with my DH online for just a couple days before I gave him my phone number, but that was because he gave me his first and I lived on a military base (he was a civilian) and I knew I had safety given the base was on lockdown after 9/11.
post #4 of 16
Well, if you have a cell phone they can't find your house through it, so you'd just have to worry about them calling all the time. Which I think you can block, or just not answer. Why not arrange a lunchtime/afternoon meeting somewhere first and see if you still like him and then give your phone number? Online a person can be anything or anyone they want and you have no proof what they're like. In person, people can still hide things or lie of course but you can't be a 70-yr-old man pretending to be a 13-yr-old girl or anything. (Not that the person you're talking to is, just an extreme example).
post #5 of 16
The same rules of dating apply - never do anything you wouldn't do with someone you've only met in real life. The internet is particularly problematic in the way we can feel like we've 'gotten to know' someone, when we often have not.

Please do be careful. A good friend of my mine through caution to the wind, and it was the worst mistake of her life. I'm sure you know this in your head, but our hearts aren't always so careful.
post #6 of 16
I give my number after a few days, only once have i given it to someone on the sameday i was chatting with.
post #7 of 16
I use to only give it out if I was interested in meeting the person. Otherwise they could stay on IM...
post #8 of 16
It's a different world now, but I waited a couple of months, knew now dh was who he said he was to some extent, as fellow online friends had met him in person. This was almost 11 years ago though.
post #9 of 16
I chatted online with Bruce, for over a month, before I gave him my number. He gave me his, first.
post #10 of 16
how about never? lol ok maybe never is a little hard core. but why give them your number when yahoo & MSN messengers all have voice chat? Or better yet download a program called skype (http://skype.com) We use this all the time to talk to people and the sound at times is even better then land lines. If you want to talk to the person then do over the net.

i have been at this internet thing for a long time. Granted i am male but i have never had anything bad happen. i have always worked strange hours( like now i am in the office all alone for 14 hours) I would just look for people in places i had never been and say hi. I have manged to make several female friends that have been friends for a very long time. Most i have fnally been able to meet in person. i talked to my wife/GF ( long story depends on which country we are in) for 5 years before i finally went to meet her in person.

anyway, use the voice programs before you then move to land lines
post #11 of 16
I don't think that there was a 'voice' messanger when I met my DH.
post #12 of 16
I don't remember how long it was before I gave my boyfriend my phone number.. it was a little while though. I think I got his number first.
post #13 of 16
Yeah I got my DH's number first.....

But I think it's a matter of your best judgement....I mean as adults, anyways. I know there are some teens on the site as well and for them I'd never recommend giving out personal information (address phone number) over the web...just cause of all the child predators.

But as an adult...if you have a cell, and most of us do...you can't trace that, if you live in a gated community....then you might feel a little bit more assured about giving out your landline.

Or....arrange a meeting in a public place via messanger, say the mall or coffee shop where there are alot of people so you can be sure you will be safe.

But it's all dependent on how that person comes off and if they seem trustworthy or suspicous.
post #14 of 16
Thread Starter 
The thing is, myspace has like your page, and then there's a section where they show people you're friend's with, and if you are smart enough, you can trace some of what is said by looking in all the friends' profiles at their comments. You'd have to be on myspace to know what I mean. So, for instance, I know who his friends are and who he's been talking to, for the most part. That's kind of comforting. Plus, his sister and cousin are on there so I do feel comfortable. He said he'll call me tomorrow, so I'll letchya know how it goes!
post #15 of 16
Definitely meet them in a public place first. I met my hubby through an online dating thingy, and we met in a bar - we both brought friends with us, and played doubles at pool for a while. I decided that he wasn't psycho, and here we are!

I wouldn't give my number out until I met them. You DO NOT want someone phone stalking you. That happened to a friend, and she ended up having to reject every phone call from numbers she didn't know, or private numbers.
post #16 of 16
Originally Posted by Arlyn
I actually do not give out my number until after a casual in person meeting, better to gauge the type of person you are dealing with as it is very easy to adopt a different personna online.
I think that's good advice as long as you meet the person a public place first.
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