plastic surgery

Gastric bypass isn't plastic surgery, and the chances for "complications" of being morbidly obese are about the same if not higher than the surgery. If your mother wants it then I hope you will support her. To me plastic surgery is something done out of vanity that has absolutely no benefit aside from your appearance. Gastric bypass does have benefits for your health. Being overweight enough to consider having it (and a doctor consider doing it) is dangerous, and typically a doctor won't do it unless you've tried to lose weight other ways and it doesn't work. Why don't you ask your mom to try an in-patient weight loss program first? They put you in the hospital and restrict your calorie intake so severely that it's unsafe to do without being hospitalized (about 500 cals a day) but it's way safer than any kind of surgery.

Where did you get the statistic that it has a 50% chance of major complications???? Everything I can find has something like a 3 in 200 chance of fatality, the only major risks are things like anemia and gallstones and osteoporosis. Not even open heart surgery has a 50% chance of major complications anymore.

As for plastic surgery, I think it should only be done for reconstruction or when a specific aspect of someones appearance is causing them real emotional distress. The loosey-goosey attitude we have about it in America of "Oh, I look a little old so I want surgery" is sort of disturbing. I can see like, when a little girl is starting to grow up and she just hates, say, her big nose or something and can't hardly think about anything else, why not help her out.

I personally wouldn't have any of the cosmetic surgery done. I find the "anti-aging" fad silly. Why spend so much time and effort to look like you've never made a face in your life? That's just unnecessary, frivolous, expensive stress, as far as I'm concerned.

I love excercise, but no matter how much I do, my breasts refuse to decrease in size, and they've begun to make most cardio excercises (which I love) very uncomfortable. So if anything, I'd have a beast reduction done so that I can run/jump rope,etc painlessly again.

I believe that Gastric Bypass should only be done in an emergency situation where the individual would die without it. I think that if you are 100lbs overweight then you should exhaust all options first, before you decide to alter your body.

My opinion on plastic sugary is the same way. I have had some done on my face because I was mauled by a dog when I was three. I had to have the bones around my eye completely reconstructed, but it left a scar. Now that I am older I've decided to keep it, mainly because I don't know my face with out it. Also due to the procedure that would have to be done to get rid of it. The doctor told me that he would have to resurface that side of my face. I would be red and scabby for a few weeks. No thank you, I'd rather have my face pulled behind a moving truck.

1. the stomach expand some, but never regains its original size. also, the small intestine is partially bypassed, so some malabsorbtion of nutrients contributes to the weight loss. true, a person can 'outeat' the surgery, but that doesn't mean she will.
2. complications are common only in sickly people. i know several people who have had the surgery, & i have had it as well - none of us had ANY complications. protein drinks prior to surgery will help with healing afterward, as well as preventing malnutrition. mortality rate is actually approximately .05%, not 50%. people who die usually die from DVT or co-morbidities present prior to surgery. DVT can result from any surgery. (percentage rate per obesityhelp.com - they're quoting JAMA, the Journal of the AMA)

gastric bypass is not plastic surgery.

if your mother truly needs this surgery, she probably is at least 100 pounds overweight, with one or more co-morbidities, such as high blood pressure, obstructive sleep apnea, congestive heart failure, diabetes, joint pain & foot problems, limited mobility, etc. also, morbidly obese people have a considerably shorted lifespan, & are more susceptible to some cancers, liver disease, etc.

i understand your concern - my family was not terribly supportive when i first told them i wanted to do this. but after closely observing my many problems, they came around. altho i'm nowhere near my goal [i just had the surgery in december of 2004] i am MUCH healthier & happier now, at almost 70 pounds lighter.

if she fits the criteria, & really wants to do this - support her & pray for her, both now, during & after her surgery.

At this time, I am pretty much happy with everything on my body and would not consider plastic surgery. I can't speak for the future though when I am rich, sucessful and have money to throw away

Gastric bypass is not plastic surgery though, and I think that by viewing that way it is clouding your idea of why your mom is making this decision and making it hard for you to support her. We know nothing about your mom, so I can't tell you if she is making the right decision or not. This is a decision that is up to her and her doctors. If it were me, I would choose to support my mom whether I agreed with her decision or not. If she decides to go through with the surgery, she could use your support to change her lifestyle so she doesn't slip back into her old ways (if her lifestyle is unhealthy now... again, I don't know your mom). I would encourage you to do a search online and read through Al Roker's story about the surgery and how it has changed his life. I think seeing both sides of the surgery, as opposed to focusing on the negative aspects, might help you feel a bit more supportive.

No it's fine, I don't understand why people get an extraordinary amount of plastic surgery done to themselves....now gastric bypass I understand because for some people they have genetics against them and have tried every other way to lose weight without success and it's that or the ill health effects from morbid obesity.

As for elective plastic surgery (ie: nose, tummy tucks, boobs) I think I'll just stay the way God made me. Even if I don't like every feature that I have.

It does sound like your mom does need lots of counseling before this surgery. Have you been able to talk to your dad about all this? If his eating habits are as unhealthy as hers, then maybe they could unite in a quest to lose weight together. A proud, supportive husband would be an absolute godsend to your mom (or any wife, for that matter); she obviously recognizes that her weight is dangerous, but sounds desperate. What a concern, esp. when you are going back to school! Hang in there!

Your mother would be an ideal candidate for gastric bypass... if she was willing to make the changes necessary for her own health. She is morbidly obese (a bmi of over 50 when 19-25 is normal) and she has complications from her weight-- gallstones and diabetes. The risks of remaining that weight far outweigh the risks of the surgery. However, you are right, it should be a last resort for someone who has reduced their calorie/fat intake and started exercising and is still unable to lose weight. The surgery will help her most if she changes her lifestyle beforehand and uses it as an aid and not a "cure".

I think perhaps the 50/50 stat is complications in general, not serious ones. For instance, you may be more at risk to develop osteoporosis since after the surgery you're basically going to be malnourished for a while. Losing weight that quickly is difficult for your body, and so some side effects should be expected. You are burning fat as fuel, which the body of someone who eats that poorly and overeats regularly is not used to doing, it is used to storing excess. Dehydration is also an issue because the stomach is so small that you can't drink a whole glass of water at once.

Then again, some people who get the surgery finally start eating better basically because they have to or they puke. And as they see the weight come off, they are encouraged by it, whereas before it just felt hopeless.

Try to support your mother but also make sure that she has an experienced surgeon who has informed her of the risks, complications, etc. Try to understand her motivations for the surgery.

She also needs to make lifestyle changes or she will end up in the same place she is now before the surgery. The stomach may not expand to the pre-surgery levels, but processed foods are very calorie-dense. You can inhale a lot of calories in small quantities. Is her surgeon or the staff working with her on the lifestyle changes?

I found this quote from Webmd says it best.

"Gastric bypass surgery is not about losing weight the easy way and looking good -- the operation is about improving health," says Merkle. "There should be a long-term commitment by the patient. Eating habits must change. For example, patients will need lifelong vitamin supplements. Some patients lose weight, and then gain it back again. Not everyone gets the results they want, but they all face the risk of these complications."

I would have my boobs sucked out and altered, maybe liprosuction on my belly

I second that notion... I'm not vain, but I HATE my flabby "baby belly" and my sinking butt and my droopy boobs

I have known several people who have had the surgery and they look fantastic now. It isn't for everyone though.

I have had plastic surgery, but it was not for vain cosmetic reasons. I have NF and have had a few topical tumors removed. One was on my lower back and the waistband of my pants would rub it and it would cause irritation.

I would like my boobs lifted and some more of the tumors removed, but will not even consider it until I lose more weight. I am currently on a diet and have lost about 15-20 pounds. Once all my weight is lost, I might need a tummy tuck to remove the loose skin.. LOL

I probably will not even have that because since it is considered cosmetic, my insurance won't cover it.

I have had 2 friends who had the gastric bypass and both loved it. They had tried diets beforehand, but one was overweight due to genetics, not necessarily overeating. The other just decided after diets the surgury was the best.
Both are doing fine. The one thing it doesn't cure is eating habits. You're eyes are still bigger than your stomach. I.e. the girl that decided it was best still snacked and would make or order a lot of food at a time, but not be able to eat it all.

IMO, general rule of thumb is that if you try diets and they don't work, then go ahead and have the surgery. I can see your mom having it though...with Type 2 diabetes it would hectic for her blood sugar levels to try and diet. She could follow a nutritionists plan, but that does mean she will lose weight. It just means that she would maintain normal blood sugar levels.

I have a good friend that I worked with that had the surgery done. I cried like a baby the day I said goodbye and good luck to him the day before he had it done. He had a few minor complications from the surgery, but is doing fantastic now. Prior to the surgery he tried many diets, but because he was diabetic, he was having too many problems because of the diet, that he would have to stop it. He was told that if he didn't have the surgery, he would only live a few more years, and would never see his grandchildren grow older.

boy, is THAT ever true! altho, for approximately 50% of patients, they are unable to eat sugar in the same large quantities without some VERY unpleasant side effects. so for people whose downfall is sweet stuff, this can be very helpful if i ever get to my goal, i'd consider some reconstructive surgery. but only if covered by insurance - i can't afford it, otherwise. & then just reconstructive - tummy tuck, breast lift, arm lift, thigh lift - remove excess skin, basically.

I feel I need to wait another ten years until the technology stablizes.

I do the same for any technology.

This might help you: Keep in mind that because of that one person, you're blowing an entire list of patients that lived through this and turning it into a smaller percentage that what it really is.
I can relate to your thoughts in a sense of one of the local hospitals by me. It's nationally recognized, highly trained doctors, etc, but I'm leary about going in ever because I've had two relatives go in and came back out in a casket.
I finally got over most of my jaded attituted towards it by going to their health center. I actually wish I lived in the area still as they knew about the condition of my moles and actually kept photographs from each visit (to check for changes).

Maybe try going to some gastric bypass educational classes if they have any near you or talk to your doctor about it. I'm sure your mom is a great RN, but maybe in this case you need a second opinion

Those shows are ridiculous. The idea behind them is that the person in the show is only worthy of being loved after they've been made "beautiful". They're still the same person, aren't they? I know in some cases the person gets more confidence or whatever, but it's the idea behind the show that makes them feel crappy about how they looked before in the first place. It's kind of disgusting.

I like shows like "What Not To Wear" where they take a person and put nice clothes on them and do their hair and make-up and sometimes teeth. That's about looking really nice but still looking like yourself. Like, with a house, you can paint it and decorate it nicely so you can feel better and have pride in your home, whereas the Swan or Extreme Makeover are about how you can't be proud of your house unless you live in a mansion with a full-time landscape architect. If that makes sense.

I think the other thing that's sad about those shows is that all of those women needed some serious therapy. There was nothing wrong with them physically, other than that they didn't look like Kate Moss (and I don't think that's bad!). Their real problem was self esteem. I read an article that interviewed several of them after the competition and almost every single woman mentioned that they wish they had gotten more coaching in self esteem or mental image, or how to run a household, pay bills, basically how to live a happier adult life, how to deal with their thoughts and emotions and feelings.

The show implied the way to do that was through changing how you look. But when it's all over they all still had to go back to their regular homes, lives, jobs, family members. How they look didn't change any of that. And they still had issues to work through.

I use to watch "What Not to Wear" also, until I realised they dyed mostly everyones hair with blonde highlights. It's almost like "The only way your hair should be is with blonde highlights".

Really? Have they all been blonded? I never noticed. That seems weird since she has really dark hair. I'm sure next time I watch it they'll highlight her hair and I'll remember what you said.

I know, they always want you to be blonde! Every single time I get my hairs cut they say I should get highlights. If you're in the "vaguely blonde" category naturally (which I am) they want you to highlight your hair to death! Why? Because then you have to keep coming back! I always say no. People do it too, though, "Julie, you really should highlight your hair! It would be so pretty!" I don't want to! I like it the way it is, if anything I would like it darker.

I would have it done ONLY if I was gauranteed to have NO complications. Smaller hips please!

Now see maybe liposuction but any plastic surgery is not a permanent fix, you still have to keep up with it. No amount of plastic surgery is going to make you look fabulous forever.

And some people just go wayyyy to far (look at MJ--I mean he doesn't even have a nose anymore).

My brother and I watched an episode when we were bored one night and I totally agree with your comments. And to be quite honest, they weren't even that pretty when they were done with them...they looked very fake.

I've seen plastic surgery shows on tv...and people will go in looking to have one thing done, and then the doctor starts picking apart every piece...how terrible.

I personally am against plastic surgery unless it's for a health reason...and I think that what you're mom's looking to go through will be great for her and hopefully get her on the right path. It's cosmetic, but it sounds like it'll help her out health wise, too. I hope everything goes well...and as someone who already went through the surgery said earlier, complications are with people who already have health issues. I personally know of 2 (?) people, I think (maybe more, my brain's not working right now), who went through it and they're much happier now.

*Hugs*