There are so many people these days whose children come before EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY (including their spouses and the law and common decency
), that they can't comprehend why or how you can live without them. If you don't want to have kids, and you have made a well thought out decision with your spouse,( bf, whatever), and you both know within your heart of hearts, then good for you. And don't worry about them who question you- the people who matter already know why.
And if you find yourself in the position of becoming pregnant and still don't have that maternal instinct- there are so many people out there with no babies and lots of desire to be good parents. I think it is a good thing that you know yourself that well, and I don't think it is selfish not to try to raise them to appease the "norm" if you don't want them. Just tell the questioners "no". And when they ask "why not?", just smile sweetly and and say "no'' again. If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.
We had the opposite problem with questions- I have Cystic Fibrosis, and we tried for 11 years to have a baby (she's 2 1/2 now
). I found out the other day that my sister thought we weren't going to have children,and changed our minds ! We even had a high risk pregnancy Dr. tell me in a consultation that if we did testing and found out our child had CF too, we could abort, and when I told her no, we already made that decision, we would have our child, she told me we could decide that when we got there- basicly, dismissing our decision (if that was how we felt, we wouldn't have kids or would adopt) and looking at me and telling me that my life was disposible and couldn't possibly have been worth living
-why would I want to have a child like me with a life like mine?
) Didn't go back to her again
, I love my life and being alive , personally!
Now strangers ask if we're going to have more. That's about as bad as aren't you going to have kids
. "No. It took us 11 yrs to have this one, and we're tired!"