how do i know for sure when it's time?

Some time back I saw an article in a cat magazine that had a list of questions to help know when it is time to have a cat put down. The 1st question was "Would you feel an overwhelming sense of relief if you found your pet had passed away peacefully while sleeping in it's bed or favorite spot?" I would very much like to find that again; my Phantom is 19 yrs old and has alot of issues, the vet has tried everything to get the diarrhea under control, diet, meds, but it has gotten no better in 2 yrs. He howls alot, but vet says hearing, thyroid and BP are ok, so we don't know if he is in pain or if he has kitty dementia. It breaks my heart to see him like he is now; I have had him since he was 5 weeks old, but I don't know what is the right thing to do for him.

What is your answer to that question (about if you found he'd passed away quietly)?

I guess I would wonder too, if it was me, would I want to go or would I still have some fight left?

How often is he happy/his usual self compared to his howling from pain or dementia?

Anyway, I know this probably didn't help, but I wanted to you know that there are others listening. I will keep you both in my thoughts.

I had to make that difficult decision once before, and in your heart, you know when it is time. I'm sorry you are faced with this right now. I discussed it thoroughly with my vet before making a decision. In your case, you may want to seek a second opinion before thinking about it.

Here is an article dealing with the subject.

http://www.thecatsite.com/Care/28/Wh...-Decision.html

We are all here to listen, whenever you need it.

I am going to move this to Health and Nutrition for you.

I am sorry to hear that you are facing the hardest decision as a pet owner we have to make. I am a vet tech and get this question on a daily basis. Here is my advice: I think you need to consider your kitty's quality of life-is the gleam gone from his eye? Does he still eat? Does he still seem content? These are all questions you need to ask yourself. I also belive that they let us "know" when they have had enough and are ready. So listen to what your kitty is trying to tell you. I know that making the appointment can be difficult, you may make a few and cancel, we understand. Only the two of you will know when the time is right and you are ready. I send my sympathies to you that you are faed with this decision, and maybe your kitty will make it for you-who knows. Just remember to always treasure the memories that you shared and to keep his/her pawprints close to your heart. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help, other that just listening. We are all here for you!

I had to face this issue last October with a kitten. Becky (Beckiboo) helped me a lot. The thing she said to me was: Does the kitty still take pleasure in being with your or is he withdrawn and wants to be by himself? I found that when he took pleasure in being with us, or his kitty mom, I could justify his life, but as soon as that pleasure was gone I knew he was ready. It's hard to explain, but I think you will know.

I'm sorry you're going through this I think you just know deep down when it's time. The 2 questions I'd want to ask myself are 1. Is he in pain and 2. Is he still getting some pleasure out of life.

I've had to make the decision too often over the years. When you have a large household, you simple experience it more often than most people. It's not that the decision gets any easier, but it does get easier to recognize the signs that lead up to the decision. Thru advise from vets, friends, and just experience, I think thru these kinds of things:

What is their quality of life? Are there more bad times than good?

Do they have an interest in food?

Are you keeping them alive for you or are you keeping them alive for them?

Making a decision is the most selfless act you can make in your life. What makes it hard is to put your own emotions aside and do what is best for them.

I am so sorry that you are going thru this.