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Need Help!

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Hi there,

Lost my beautiful 3 year old Russian Blue daughter 2 weeks ago. We had left her with a cattery whilst we went to Hawaii to get married and were told when we returned that she had choked on her own vomit and died. Very tragic and devastating for us - she meant the world to us.

Within 4 days we brought a little Siamese kitten and we have wondered if we had made a mistake every day since then. We didn't want to get another Russian Blue because we thought it would remind us of Tatiana too much that's why we chose a Siamese. Problem is, he is just too much - too noisy, plays too violently, very demanding. Maybe we rushed into it too soon - should have waited until we had mourned fully but the house was just so empty, cold and lonely and we thought another kitten would help.

I desperately want another Russian Blue - they have a beautiful gentle nature and are much quieter than Siamese. What do I do? Any advice appreciated - do I keep or find a new home for the Siamese and get another Russian Blue?

post #2 of 18
Lisa - that's so sad. Losing your cat whilst away, especially on the happy occasion of your honeymoon must've really put a damper on things.

About the siamese. Your little kitten might also be trying to find it's feet, hence the fuss and noise. I'm no great cat psychologist, but I'd say keep her for a while and let both sides get used to things. Also - see the new kitten for what she is, and not as a direct replacement for Tatiana.

And by all means get another Russian Blue to keep baby kitty company, especially if you're both out at work during the day.

I hope things work out!

post #3 of 18
Hi Lisa~

First off, let me say I am sorry to hear about your Tatiana. What a tragedy!

Secondly, welcome to the Cat Site.

Finally, I am moving your thread over to our Behavior forum, where it may get some more advice than here in New Cats.
post #4 of 18
Hi, Lisa. Of course every cat has its own personality, but that's what makes them special. You probably had a very special bond with your Russian Blue. That won't die, ever. Another Russian Blue will not be the same either, but I agree with Yola. If you like the breed, get a little friend for your Siamese. I have two Siamese cats, and have found them to be very loving, intelligent, and would you believe it? OBEDIENT. If I tell them "NO,NO, Babies," they stop immediately and come to me for love, as if to say they're sorry. They were very active as kittens. Most kittens are, but quiet down gradually during the first year. I'm sure you and your kitten would love a Russian Blue playmate! Just put museum gel under the collectibles, and sit back and watch the fun!
post #5 of 18

I just wanted to tell you that we also are enamored by the Russian Blue breed -- we have an 11 yr old Russian Blue girl. . .she is the light of our life. We've had other cats, but she is truly special. I would be devastated if anything happened to her. I'm so sorry you lost your Tatiana. . .

I also wanted to add that in my experience kitties are indeed individual. Yes our kitty is a purebred Russian Blue from Grand Champion pedigree, but counter to the breed description, she has the loudest voice in the world. We laugh at the book and articles which state that Russian Blues have such quiet voices that you would have a hard time knowing when a queen is in season. She was very active and demanding and got into things for the first 6 years of her life (though more so the first 2 years). Maybe my Russian is quite unusual?

I can't really advise you on what your next move will be. We managed by keeping the house catproofed, and then keeping one room REALLY catproofed. Maybe you can work something out similarly with your Siamese. If it is just a kitten, it will be more boisterous. We have another cat who is the complete opposite of our Russian, and we love her too and appreciate her for different reasons.

Take care . ..
post #6 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much to those who replied to my post. I was very touched by your words of condolences. I think I'll keep our little Siamese tornado and look for a Russian Blue sister for him. We're just coping with his antics but with some extra patience and a new sibling we just might get through this!

Our house looks like a battle zone! We've got old sheets and blankets draped over our treasured loungesuite, my husband has made an extra cat scratching post for him and our bedroom door is constantly closed to keep him out (at every opportunity he proceeds to jump on our bed and urinates). We need to keep him out of the bathroom otherwise he climbs the toilet cistern to get to our lovely lace curtains on which he likes to swing voilently. All but one set of vertical blinds in our house has been re-arranged - he pulls the weights out and rips off the plastic chains! We have a combustion fireplace so we like to keep a basket full of wood next to it - yeah, you guessed it - he likes to shred bits off each and every piece! We now have to go out onto the cold verandah every time we need another piece of firewood!

I don't know, maybe all kittens are like this - I guess we just got so used to having a quiet, gentle, loving little Russian Blue princess (Tatiana) in our lives - now we feel like we've been landed with the "kitten from hell!"

Any advice on how to manage Kona's destructive behaviour would be much appreciated!

Thanks again guys for your support,
post #7 of 18

I know this isn't the question you asked, but it has been bothering me ever since I saw your post. How extensively did you question this cattery about Tatiana's death? Did they return her body to you? Is this a reputable place? I have had a bad feeling about what they said to you ever since I read it. Something about their story just isn't ringing true to me.
post #8 of 18
I have one now that is loud, demanding, annoying, and persistent. The only way to stop his incessant meowing is to do about 20 minutes one on one playtime with him with an interactive toy (peacock feather)
post #9 of 18
Thread Starter 
Hi Deb,

We got off the plane from Hawaii and went to pick her up straight away - as you can imagine after two weeks we missed her dearly and couldn't wait to see her. We went to the cattery and the owner came out and said that she had some bad news. She handed us an autopsy report from her vet and said that she "choked on her own vomit and died". The report said the same, that she choked on her vomit and died of asphyxiation. I just broke down and returned to the car and Tom took the report from her and followed me. We rang the vet to get some answers but he was away for the week. We just kept shaking our heads saying "how could this happen - you can't just vomit and die like that". We spoke to some breeders who said that it sounded like a red back spider bite (venomous Aust. spider) which is not uncommon in catteries. So we decided that that must be the answer. When I finally spoke to the vet, he told me that there was dry cat food in her airway and that she had choked and died. Our final theory? She had been given the incorrect dry food and choked on it. The cattery was given strict instructions on her diet (half cup of kitten dry food (moist) for breakfast and 1 sachet of cat food for dinner)and all food was supplied. She choked at about 4pm in the afternoon and we wondered what she was doing with dry food at that time anyway. What do you think?
post #10 of 18

It certainly is sad. I feel so badly for you. I'll be honest. I was afraid that maybe the place sold the cat and just told you she died. I'm glad you got verification from the vet. I'd certainly advise others not to use this cattery. If you can't follow simple instructions, you don't deserve to be in business.
post #11 of 18
Thread Starter 
Yes, the vet kept Tatiana's body until our return so we knew that that wasn't the case.

The cattery we used to take Tatiana to before we moved house was very good - they used to keep a little card with feeding and other instructions on it and they also had a little card on each cage saying: "Hello my name is ......" and I like to eat ...... which meant that there was no confusion about feeding etc. I truly believe that it was incorrect feeding that caused her death.

At the cattery where Tatiana died there is a communal run that she used to alternate cats in to stretch their legs and I'd say that there was a different type of cat food left in there that she ate or she was fed this incorrect dry food for dinner.

I went through a period of feeling extremely guilty - kept saying "if only we hadn't gone to Hawaii to get married" "we should've realised that this cattery wasn't as good as the other one" and so on. The cattery was the best in the region - we did check them all, but maybe I should have been looking for more than just a pretty outlook and cleanliness. The cattery we used to use is more than 40 kilometres away and it just wasn't practical to take her there - she found car travel very stressful. There I go again - justifying my decisions, I still keep trying to defend myself and ward off the guilt!
post #12 of 18
Lisa you were wondering if maybe all kittens were like your "Siamese Tornado". . .

well speaking only from my experience with my Russian Blue, she would do all the things you mentioned as a kitty except she never peed inappropriately, and she never bit or scratched on skin.
post #13 of 18

Try not to beat yourself up about it too much. I know it's difficult, and everyone feels they need to be with their darlings at their time of passing. Otherwise - well you just haven't said goodbye properly have you?

The pain will pass. Honestly.

One final thought? Do you think Kona senses your grief for Tatiana as it is making him feel uncomfortable?

post #14 of 18
Lisa do you think you're being a little hard on the kitten since you were so used to your other kitty's laid back ways, having a wild one in the house is too overwhelming? I'm just going out on a limb here but it sounds like you are expecting too much from him(or too little however you want to look at it) and maybe that's the whole problem.

I understand how you feel and how sadden your are by your great loss and I truely feel for you. No cat can ever replace Tatiana and even if you were to get another Russian blue it would never be just like her.

Maybe if you lighten up on the little guy and understand that he is a kitten you'll understand why paper is being shredded or why the blinds are messed up or why he likes to swing from the curtains. If you are to get playmate for your little tyke keep in mind that there will be 2 little monsters tearing up your house. Although 2 kittens tend to wear each other out quicker than one.

Your baby is at one of the most precious moments in his life and you should enjoy this as much as possible because once he grows into the handsome adult that you'll adore you'll regret not enjoying his kittenhood.

Try a little more interactive play with him with some toys and that will help him channel his energy into good activities instead of swinging from your curtains. Clicker training is also another great activity for the both of you to participate in and it will help teach him a few manners as well.. Here's a great link if you're interested.Clicker Training

I hope I didn't come off as being harsh but I was just looking at your situation from a different view. I hope everything works out fine and please keep us posted!! Good luck!!
post #15 of 18
Lisa, I would like to welcome you to TCS and wish it were under more happy circumstances for you. But I would also like to add that you made a dicision that was right at the time and you had NO way of knowing that this cattery would not follow your feeding instructions! You loved your babe and that is why you decided to board her. It is the fault of the cattery - NOT you! I would to also add that your new fur babe will grow and he will become a wonderful addition to your family. Give him time.....and also give yourself time and permission to grieve further. I hope that you will stay here with us and share your joys with your new little one!
post #16 of 18
I`m so sorry to hear about your Tatiana. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved cat so young and it`s understandable to compare the bad behaviour of the new one to all the things you loved about Tatiana but I`m sure in time he`ll become as precious to you as she was. I have always had Siamese and orientals and in my experience they can be very boisterous as kittens but I mostly found them very amusing with it, even though the curtains and furniture suffered. One used to love tearing up toilet rolls and you`d go up to the bathroom to find the whole roll shredded all over the floor! When mine went through the `ripping your hands to shreds` phase I would wear an oven glove to play with them!

The good news is, like all kittens, they do calm down with age and I have found all of mine so rewarding as the Siamese breed in general are very affectionate and devoted. I love the way they `talk` to you. My Casper used to ask to be picked up and I would carry him round like a baby.

When my mum and dad lost their Dobermann, Ben, they couldn`t bear to be without a dog so got a new one and for a while resented him for not being Ben. He was so different and they found it hard to adjust but in time he became so dear to them that we joke that he is their 4th (and favourite) child!!

I think getting another kitty would definitely help too as I have two and they focus more on each other for play rather than destroying the house.

I`m sure it will all work out for you in time.
post #17 of 18
So sorry about the loss of your beloved cat.

I've found that male kittens tend to be a bit rowdier than females, at least when on their own. A playmate helps, or at least may save the curtains, but I'd bet he'll calm down when he grows up.

Good luck!

post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
Check out my post "Water Gun Works" for the continuing saga of Lisa versus Kona the Siamese Kitten From Hell.
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