Parental Dilemma

My mother wants us to visit her at least once a month. The problem is, we are not really making money in the summer since the teaching jobs have dried up. We can't afford to go visit her in Houston since the gas would cost us about $50.

What is the easist way to tell her this? My hubby doesn't really like to visit her and my mother thinks my hubby wants to keep us apart. Hubby simply wants to save the money instead of going on a joyless journey every month.

My mother is expecting us to visit her next month at my sister's birthday. I feel conflicted because birthdays are really important but my sister is my mom's favorite child. The last thing I need to do while struggling to stay in grad school is to hear how my sister is superior to me.

I guess maybe I could get my mom to help us with the gas money, but I think that could be kind of rude.

What do you guys think?

I think you should just tell her that you cannot afford it. As your mother, she will have to understand, right?

If she doesn't believe you....

Well, I had a $20,000 fellowship, but I lost it due to my BIL's ex........

It is really difficult for me to tell her that, since she doesn't know my hubby's family. I don't want her to have any mental connection between my hubby and his brother. They are like day and night.

I'd call her and let her know now that you aren't going to be able to make it. Simply tell her that you can't afford to make it and leave it at that. If she offers to give you gas money, then either accept or decline based on how you feel about taking money from your mother. You may also want to contact your sister directly and let her know you aren't coming.

Best of luck to you. I know exactly how you feel!

She is your mother, it would not be rude to let her know that currently the only way to see her or any family would be if someone would help with the gas. My family would gladly give us the gas to see them. Plus she is not your friend or neighbor or aquaintance, she should never look down on you because you need gas to come down or think you are rude! But that is my opinion.

But it also sounds like you have some reserves of your own(being compared to your sister), so are you sure there aren't other reasons as well? If there are, maybe you can talk to her. Some parents do not realize what they are doing unless you let them know. *hugs* Hope you work everything out!

I agree with everyone else... good luck!

Originally Posted by Sirha

She is your mother, it would not be rude to let her know that currently the only way to see her or any family would be if someone would help with the gas. My family would gladly give us the gas to see them. Plus she is not your friend or neighbor or aquaintance, she should never look down on you because you need gas to come down or think you are rude! But that is my opinion.

But it also sounds like you have some reserves of your own(being compared to your sister), so are you sure there aren't other reasons as well? If there are, maybe you can talk to her. Some parents do not realize what they are doing unless you let them know. *hugs* Hope you work everything out!

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Yep I agree!