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post #31 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by ButterflyDreame
She takes everything literally. You can't use aliterations with her because she thinks you are serious.
This caught my attention. Children generally do not grasp sarcasm or other such devices until they're well into school. At that point, they start playing with it themselves, and they execute it horribly for quite some time. For your daughter to not understand is perfectly normal.

My understanding of Aspergers, from those who have it (or have children who are diagnosed), is that it's primarily a social disability. Difficulty relating to other people, difficulty understanding. As with autistic children, those with Aspergers are often highly intelligent, as you have learned from your child.

My advice? Treat her like a kid. Apart from her hypersensitivity, she really doesn't sound different from any child I know, including my son. She's a smart cookie, so don't talk down to her unless she's having a hard time understanding. (I don't know if her babytalk phase affects her understanding, or if it's simply how she communicates.) Keep her engaged with reading or other intellectual exercises. They need not involve the imagination - not all kids like playing "Let's pretend". There's always reading, math, crafts and art to nudge that part of her brain. Kids love staying busy!

It sounds like you have a beautiful, clever little girl! Congratulations!
post #32 of 57
Thread Starter 
While I appreciate your candor....she was diagnosed by 4 different medical professionals specializing in child development and psychology/psychiatry.

Example:

Age 18 months, walking in Washington D.C.-->Look mommy and Obelisk....most adults don't know what that is....she was pointing to the Washington Monument.

Age 3-4, during her diagnosis she re-organized the developmental pediatrician's toybox according to toy type and size. She lined up her toys in her room according to the same as well. Everything on her spot at the table had to be and still does in a particular spot. I accidentally bought mac and cheese with green noodles, she wouldn't eat it, reason "It wasn't mac and cheese".

Now: Very sound sensitive. Slightest noise can bring her the greatest discomfort. Or the loudest sound goes unheard. Everything goes in her mouth, hair, objects, clothing ect.....these are all sensory integration issues which are very common with Asperger's and the entire line of Pervasive developmental disorders.

She has no concept of time or the word or. Literally. no interest in imaginitive play is one thing, no understanding of it is something entirely different. She quite literally doesn't understand the concept of 'pretending' something that isn't real. Everything that is real must be tangible and viewable.

Orange juice must be the type without pulp, otherwise it isn't orange juice and she won't drink it.

Socially, she is very awkward, she wants the world to be her friend but doesn't understand why the other kids call her 'crazy' and 'weird'.

Most times when I've viewed her social interactions when we lived near a playground her 'playing' with other children entailed her sitting in the playground drawing in the ground while the other children played around her....she didn't interact with them too much.

She doesn't understand social cues, we went to a birthday party, her first one to be invited to in fact....and most of the children avoided her...she would yell and by yelling I mean YELLING at the children by name, which would embarrass them and so they would not respond to her.

I didn't explain it well because quite frankly I've been in a state of mind myself with all that's been going on in my life and haven't been able to concentrate well enough.

Her biological father had bipolar and dsylexia (which we suspect she has as well as she writes her b's and d's backwards as well as 3's and 6's and 9's).

And lord knows what else because he was a very cruel man and he is no longer in our lives.

I don't mean to sound terse with you but I'm on edge lately especially with the fear of the possiblity that my now ex mother will stalk me on the internet and the way you wrote that sounded alot like her so I apologize if I've sounded abrubt.
post #33 of 57
It's no easy thing to have a child with a disability. One of the ladies in my chuch who I also worked with for a time (and she coordinated my wedding) has 2 autistic children. I've been around kids with a variety of disabilities all my life since my mother also works in Human Services. (we work for the same company now, working with adults) I've seen how parent's hurt for their children. But in the end, it seems the kids are generally happy. The woman I mentioned has done, in my oppinion, a very good job with her kids. She makes allowances for thier difficulties, but still encourages them to be the best they can be. I know early on, when her first child was diagnosed, she researched like crazy. She also met some other parents and they support eachother. I know your daughter's difficulties have got to be painful to watch and difficult too, but it sounds to me like you are doing a good job!
post #34 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by ButterflyDream
While I appreciate your candor....she was diagnosed by 4 different medical professionals specializing in child development and psychology/psychiatry.
I'm not questioning whether or not she's got Aspergers, and I don't know how you read that. I simply said that many of her behaviors are totally within the realm of normal child behavior, and I believe you'd be doing her a disservice by treating her like something fragile or 'different'. Make allowances for her needs, sure, but she's really not that different.

I think your child sounds wonderful, and will grow into a perfectly capable (if quirky) adult. I'm sorry if I've offended you by suggesting it.

And forgive me for being terse. I'm not used to being replied to in such a way when I've just spent an entire post being encouraging.
post #35 of 57
I think we need to remember that Asbergers affects everyone very differently. I think that yes you should treat them the same... But you have to treat them differently to some extent. For example a kid with AS is not going to pick up that you are upset with them unless you tell them. Slamming a door or making a face will go right over there head.
post #36 of 57
Thread Starter 
Yes that's what I meant, we don't treat her any differently, but sometimes it takes a bit of explaining for her to understand the whys and hows of why we are upset with her. We try to treat her just the same as we would any other child. There are specifics that create a different view in her eyes of the universe.

So at times things can be difficult.


I should add that here lately I've been going through a rough patch myself and feeling a bit depressed/anxious/ ect.....tends to cause me to have slight flashes of terseness and anger.

Don't mean to come off that way if I do end up doing so.
post #37 of 57
ButterflyDream,

I completely understand how trying and challenging it can be to raise a child with AS. Your post reminds me of where I use to be when my 13 year old AS son was much younger. There were days that I was brought to my knees and counted the minutes until my DH would come home and give me a break. My son also has bipolar, (he has been hospitalized and is on meds). Did you know that AS and bipolar are often found together in families?

I think you would benefit from the support and advice of other parents dealing with an AS child similar in age to your daughter. I found a wonderful support forum on the web and visited there daily for over 5 years. The members there pulled each other through the rough times and reminded each other to take care of themselves. I don't know if I can post the link here, (Google "A soft place to land"). But I hope you will find a similar support forum. It can help so much and all the parents will understand just what you are dealing with on a daily basis, (because they are in the same boat).

I am happy to say that the dark days are over, my son is doing much better now. Your in the rough years now. I promise you, it will get better.

Elise
post #38 of 57
I read your blog and it appears to me that your ex-husband also probably had Aspergers.......

So yeah, please try to not mentally associate your daughter with your ex-husband. That would be very painful for both of you.

Best of luck for everything.

I think AS and bipolar are often found together due to incompentent therapists. For years some chick who took some psychologist classes managed to convince everybody I was bipolar. I finally went to a real psychologist who upon examing me told me I was Aspergers, and if anything, I am the opposite of bipolar.

So yeah, somebody who is incompetent could easily confuse Aspergers and bipolar.......and bipolar medications often wreck havoc on Aspergers people because the biochemical pathways they interact are totally opposite.

P.S. Speaking of phones.....I HATE phones......I got my first cell phone this year and I only use it for emergencies. It took my coworkers two years to coax me to answer the phone at my laboratory when nobody else is around.
post #39 of 57
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elise1
ButterflyDream,

I completely understand how trying and challenging it can be to raise a child with AS. Your post reminds me of where I use to be when my 13 year old AS son was much younger. There were days that I was brought to my knees and counted the minutes until my DH would come home and give me a break. My son also has bipolar, (he has been hospitalized and is on meds). Did you know that AS and bipolar are often found together in families?

I think you would benefit from the support and advice of other parents dealing with an AS child similar in age to your daughter. I found a wonderful support forum on the web and visited there daily for over 5 years. The members there pulled each other through the rough times and reminded each other to take care of themselves. I don't know if I can post the link here, (Google "A soft place to land"). But I hope you will find a similar support forum. It can help so much and all the parents will understand just what you are dealing with on a daily basis, (because they are in the same boat).

I am happy to say that the dark days are over, my son is doing much better now. Your in the rough years now. I promise you, it will get better.

Elise

I can't find the website Elise, I got several hits.....should I put the quotations on.

Sorry stress and tension have been building trying to share space with someone else and plus the kids and plus our cats (which my ILs hate). I'm near tears right now.
post #40 of 57
It's the first one on Google's list when you enter "A soft place to land", (no quotes).

That may not be the right support forum for you, but there are others on the web for parents of AS kids.

Elise
post #41 of 57
Thread Starter 
Yeah. I'll look at it later, after I get the kids in bed.
post #42 of 57
You know what's weird.. I have a slight phone problem too. I don't like calling someone who I having talked to in awhile... Even my best friend from HS who I used to chat with every day... The longer I go without talking to someone, the weirder I feel about calling them.. makes me anxious. My sister hardly ever answers the phone.. the only time she did was when she had a boyfriend who she thought was calling!

Anyway.. My family hx if anyone finds it interesting. My mom has depression. Her mother has anxiety and depression. She has 8 siblings. At least three of them have been diagnosed with depression, one of those also anxiety and probably OCD. I have another uncle who we suspect has depression.. but he would never admit or try medication, however he seems miserable and unhappy. I also have at least one cousin who was hospitalized for depression at one point.
My dad.. we suspect he has AS and ADD.
Me- some depression and some mild ADD. (never was dx with ADD but I know I have it.. was able to manage in school though.)
My sister major depression, AS, anxiety, OCD and ADD... enough to effect her school work. I think she managed to get the worst of both sides of the gene pool.
My bro.. depression and ADD.

No one has ever been dx with Bi-Polar, thank goodness.
post #43 of 57
A friend of my husband's and I has it, and he's in grad school. He can't drive, because it's too much overload, and he can be a bit intense, but he's a wonderful guy and he has a great life.
post #44 of 57
Is there some online thing I can take to see if I should be evaluated for it?

I'm getting kind of creeped out reading all your descriptions and the articles you have posted... I've always just considered myself an eccentric geek, nerd, dork... whatever you want to call it. I never thought there could be a reason for it.

Sometimes, and I am in the medical field, I think *they* (whoever they are) create syndromes, disorders, and the like where there aren't really syndromes or disorders. They are just different ways to be human. Labeling these things is not productive, IMO. Tolerance and acceptance of different kinds of people should be the focus. :shrug:
post #45 of 57
Well from my understanding Aspergers people usually concentrate in scientific fields. Since you are in the medical field, an Aspergers person around you could actually be absolutely normal.

I actually think it is not a syndrome, just a totally different way of thinking entirely.
post #46 of 57
Here is an online screening assessment for AS, (AS is one of the 5 types of Pervasive Development Disorder, PDD).

http://www.childbrain.com/pddq6.shtml

Adults may want to take the AQ test. It measures autistic traits in adults.

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

Results of these tests could be printed out and taken to a doctor. Neither one may be used to diagnosis.

As far as labeling goes. A diagnosis is only given when there is "significant impairment" in daily functioning. My son cannot handle a public school classroom even with major support. His AS diagnosis allows him to be in a private therapeutic school that costs more than a year in private college. He is in a class of 6 boys with 3 teachers. He receives, OT, PT, speech, social skills, etc. Our school district would not pay for the school and busing without a dx. He is not just a little different, his daily functioning is significantly impaired.

Adults that can work, support themselves and function in our society would not receive a dx. A dx explains why an individual cannot function in mainstream society.

Elise
post #47 of 57
Thanks. I got a 32. I am not sure if it does affect my daily functioning... I've never kept a job for more than one year, except for one job where a bunch of us were just weird like that. I quit that one because I didn't like the management. I've always just rationalized it all to the fact that I'm still in school and that interns are replacable with interns with better class schedules.

I've just grown accustomed to my "loner-ness" and it doesn't bother me on a daily basis, except at work and at school, where people often misunderstand me and have a negative bias of my personality or abilities. So there's a reason for all this? I thought it was just because well... I'm weird.
post #48 of 57
That can't be right. I got a 208 on the first and 48 on the second. I feel completely normal.
post #49 of 57
I got a 32 on the child one, and a 33 on the adult one.. It says adults with AS usually score 32 or above on the adult test. Interesting. I'll have to send this to my mom.
post #50 of 57
I'm sorry shengmei, but I have to jump in. For someone who claims to have AS, you are making a lot of incorrect statements and outrageous generalizations. And you definitely shouldn't be giving this woman medical advice or diagnosing her ex as you are in no way qualified for that. NO ONE can just read about Asperger's and say they have those symptoms and just diagnose themselves or others. It goes much deeper than that -- the purest diagnosis is made when the person does not know they are being evaluated. It's how people act when they are not aware of it. And your opinion does not change the fact that AS is classified as a Pervasive Developmental Disorder.

Butterfly, I'd be happy to talk with you anytime. I am a Senior Therapist for the Wisconsin Early Autism Project, and I've worked with about 40 children in the surrounding areas. The majority had classic autism, but I worked with several children with AS and PDD-NOS (otherwise known as the blanket diagnosis) as well. I have to say -- I have always loved the children I work with as if they were my own, but most of those that I completely identified with 100% had AS. Feel free to contact me -- I have a feeling my words will become twisted if I post them publicly.
post #51 of 57
I apologize. I was basing the medications remarks on some tentative research that might or might not be correct. I believe it is better to be safe and not be sorry.

My therapist taught me that I have Aspergers before I even knew it existed. For years I thought I was bipolar instead.

I do have Aspergers, but my Aspergers are not as severe as the online tests I took eariler indicated. I have mild to moderate Aspergers. I think I was being way too harsh on myself when my therapist thinks I am better than I actually am.
post #52 of 57
Thanks for your input, ForJazz. Your comments are appreciated and noted.

Shengmei, it did puzzle me a bit that you made such strange remarks about "mental diseases" as if they were something to be ashamed of or somehow that they are the fault of the person with a "mental disease." All psychiatric disorders involve neurotransmitters and brain anatomy abnormalities, some more than others. It is hotly debated in the world of psychology if many of these disorders are environmental or genetic, and the consensus is pretty much that they are all a combination of both, in addition to the influence of the culture the patient is being evaluated in. I hope you didn't mean to imply that some diseases reflect poorly on the person while Asperger's is somehow different and "better." I don't think you meant that, but it sure seemed it.

On the same token, although I don't think it, I could say that Asperger's is merely a lack of social intelligence and a failure to adapt to society due to a weakness in character or parenting. I don't believe this, of course, but do you see how you would feel if I said that about Aspergers? I am sure some with depression, schizophrenia, or bipolar may feel similarly offended by your comments, even though you may not have meant them that way.
And if you did mean them that way, I beg you to learn more about the controversial and fascinating world of psychology and "mental diseases."
post #53 of 57
Thread Starter 
I haven't been online really the last couple of days, going through alot of deep emotions myself and having a hard time dealing. ForJazz...if you want to PM me or even check out my messangers you can feel free to message me and I'd love to chat with you online.

I'm the type of person that tries to stay out of conflict of anytime, mental health issues are something I've struggled with for years myself.

My daughter's case of Asperger's was classified as a more severe form based on the testing and observation (I'm not sure if I said that or not).

And it has been suspected that she may also have a co-diagnosis of bipolar with the Asperger's. I need to get her seen by specialists but right now we have had so many finanicial difficulties and have had to move so many times it's been hard to get things situated.

Meanwhile I'm waiting for the VA rule on my disability case for compensation and my husband is desperately looking for work.

I'm severely depressed myself again.

I know I have some mental health issues, I do my very best to ensure they do not impact my children, generally holding in my tears and frustrations until very late at night when I begin to feel anxiety and pure sadness at all that's gone on with us in the last few months (again, my profile, check out my threads if you want to or haven't).

And I'm rambling on and on but I have ever so much on my mind right now and feel very much alone because I've burdened my husband enough, okay he says it's not a burden but I feel like it is.

And I have no friends.

Or family now.

Except for my ILs and the living situation is creating a certain amount of stress for us all.

Okay this is going off topic.

Sorry.
post #54 of 57
I've added you (Butterfly) to my AIM list. I'd be happy to talk to you about anything you want -- the subject is very dear to me. Tonight is NOT good, because I am actually beginning a workshop tomorrow with a new child, and I have a lot of preparation left to do. (Wish me luck! lol) But other than that, I'm usually online very often. Feel free to add me as well.
post #55 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by ForJazz
I'm sorry shengmei, but I have to jump in. For someone who claims to have AS, you are making a lot of incorrect statements and outrageous generalizations. And you definitely shouldn't be giving this woman medical advice or diagnosing her ex as you are in no way qualified for that. NO ONE can just read about Asperger's and say they have those symptoms and just diagnose themselves or others. It goes much deeper than that -- the purest diagnosis is made when the person does not know they are being evaluated. It's how people act when they are not aware of it. And your opinion does not change the fact that AS is classified as a Pervasive Developmental Disorder.

Butterfly, I'd be happy to talk with you anytime. I am a Senior Therapist for the Wisconsin Early Autism Project, and I've worked with about 40 children in the surrounding areas. The majority had classic autism, but I worked with several children with AS and PDD-NOS (otherwise known as the blanket diagnosis) as well. I have to say -- I have always loved the children I work with as if they were my own, but most of those that I completely identified with 100% had AS. Feel free to contact me -- I have a feeling my words will become twisted if I post them publicly.
I totally respet what you just said.

If you remember my threapist perscribed 2.5 milligrams (1/4 pills) per day of Lexpro last August. He was thinking I had Aspergers back then and he wanted to started me on a low-dosage regimen of Lexipro because people don't really know if the biochemical pathways of Lexipro would interfere with the Aspergers.

I eventually dropped the Lexipro because I was feeling totally numb on it, and it scared the heck out of me. I also learned about its interactions with Aspergers.

I am not sure about the dateline. For all I know it was probably conflicting. I had two therapists back then.

When people are ailing they generally try to learn about what afflicts them as much as possible.
post #56 of 57
I got 48 on the adult test not a big shocker ... but I do need to see a therispist so a correct DX can be made...
post #57 of 57
Thread Starter 
I know what I have wrong with me personally. So I don't need to take that test the military did psychological testing on me right before my discharge to start a medical board so I could pursue the VA for disability.

I've listed that elsewhere....I'm sure.

If I haven't just pm me and ask...but it's floating about these threads somewhere.

I struggle with alot myself.

Just alot of times, she makes things difficult cause things have to be a specific way and now with the move and the changes she is a bit testy to say the least. I've got to get a routine back...somehow.
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