Are you or do you know someone with?

akbeck98

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Yes I do understand. I guess there are just so many variables in education. Some teachers are not as apt to change as some. I know this next year I will be co-teaching part of my classes with a special education teacher. I'm very excited to do this. I think the benefits for all students is great. I am one of the teachers that do adapt and change, but not all do!
 

Moz

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Two boys I go to school with have it. They're incredibly smart, and they both draw very well. I don't see how people call it a "mental disease". Then again some people call me mentally ill because I have anxiety with depression.
 

scratchies

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I have a very dear friend who has a daughter with this complaint, i would not call it a sickness or disease, She is very smart very loveing and once she makes up her mind on something it is set in steel, she has started high school this year and is enjoying it but her one problem is still there , she has got no friends the other kids seem scared of her or are just outrite nasty to her , she is a beautiful young lady and will go far in this life
 

shengmei

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I intimated guys all my four years of high school.........

I married the first guy who can muster the strength to go out with me.
 

shengmei

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The problem is that I have never really thought about Aspergers Syndrome as a syndrome per se. Plenty of people working in the genetics field have it. Apparently the condition also makes people very good for science, even though it severely cuts into people's communication skills.

The genetics field had been good to me and knowing plenty of others with exactly the same condition definitely had helped me. I am only fine because I married an understanding man. Without him I would be a wreck.
 

zak&rocky

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I disagree that kids automatically shouldn't be medicated. My sister has asbergers.. PLUS severe depression and OCD. Oh, and ADD. Unless she is on meds she has felt suicidal. She is currently working at Rite-Aid, and just got her BA in sociology. She will probably apply to grad school. She kinda slowly worked to her degree- it wasn't easy as she had to be hospitalized her sophmore year and changed schools. It was very difficult for her to adjust to going away to school. She has a lot of trouble recognizing people and making "small talk". Conversation with her on the phone- forget it. It also took FOREVER for her to get her license. It was slow learning and she had low confidence. She didn't get diagnosed until she was 19.. probably because she had the other disorders as well.
Anyway I also have a non-related cousin with AS. It is also interesting that relatives of people with it often have a "shadow" of symptoms. Personally sometimes I don't pick up on social clues, I am pretty clumsy and have no sense of direction. My dad probably does have AS but is high functioning, very intelligent and found a job that works for him. He doesn't "clue in" if you are annoyed or upset, gets lost easily, doesn't realize how loud he is talking, disorganized, focuses on certain interests, monopolizes conversations around his own interests.. And he isn't trying to be rude, its just the way he is!!
 

MoochNNoodles

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I have a little bit of experience with aspergers. I've had 2 clients with it. The one I had the most experience was, as most of you have said, very intelligent. He was also a perfectionist. For example, one of the services my company provides is assessments to look at work behaviours. Some of them have been taken from real life jobs we have placed people in. One in particular is working for a local newspaper company 'stuffing' with ads and counting stacks for bundling, etc. When he was given the job of unbundling them all, he had every single piece of paper in there in perfect neat stacks. Socially he was a bit different but he'd held jobs down just fine. (He had a few different disabilities to work with if I remember correctly.) The biggest challenge I had was his tendancy to stare at the ladies accessories.
Oh and he fell asleep if we didn't keep an eye on him. I think he was boored!
 

aphrodeia

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Originally Posted by ButterflyDreame

She takes everything literally. You can't use aliterations with her because she thinks you are serious.
This caught my attention. Children generally do not grasp sarcasm or other such devices until they're well into school. At that point, they start playing with it themselves, and they execute it horribly for quite some time. For your daughter to not understand is perfectly normal.

My understanding of Aspergers, from those who have it (or have children who are diagnosed), is that it's primarily a social disability. Difficulty relating to other people, difficulty understanding. As with autistic children, those with Aspergers are often highly intelligent, as you have learned from your child.

My advice? Treat her like a kid. Apart from her hypersensitivity, she really doesn't sound different from any child I know, including my son. She's a smart cookie, so don't talk down to her unless she's having a hard time understanding. (I don't know if her babytalk phase affects her understanding, or if it's simply how she communicates.) Keep her engaged with reading or other intellectual exercises. They need not involve the imagination - not all kids like playing "Let's pretend". There's always reading, math, crafts and art to nudge that part of her brain. Kids love staying busy!

It sounds like you have a beautiful, clever little girl! Congratulations!
 
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butterflydream

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While I appreciate your candor....she was diagnosed by 4 different medical professionals specializing in child development and psychology/psychiatry.

Example:

Age 18 months, walking in Washington D.C.-->Look mommy and Obelisk....most adults don't know what that is....she was pointing to the Washington Monument.

Age 3-4, during her diagnosis she re-organized the developmental pediatrician's toybox according to toy type and size. She lined up her toys in her room according to the same as well. Everything on her spot at the table had to be and still does in a particular spot. I accidentally bought mac and cheese with green noodles, she wouldn't eat it, reason "It wasn't mac and cheese".

Now: Very sound sensitive. Slightest noise can bring her the greatest discomfort. Or the loudest sound goes unheard. Everything goes in her mouth, hair, objects, clothing ect.....these are all sensory integration issues which are very common with Asperger's and the entire line of Pervasive developmental disorders.

She has no concept of time or the word or. Literally. no interest in imaginitive play is one thing, no understanding of it is something entirely different. She quite literally doesn't understand the concept of 'pretending' something that isn't real. Everything that is real must be tangible and viewable.

Orange juice must be the type without pulp, otherwise it isn't orange juice and she won't drink it.

Socially, she is very awkward, she wants the world to be her friend but doesn't understand why the other kids call her 'crazy' and 'weird'.

Most times when I've viewed her social interactions when we lived near a playground her 'playing' with other children entailed her sitting in the playground drawing in the ground while the other children played around her....she didn't interact with them too much.

She doesn't understand social cues, we went to a birthday party, her first one to be invited to in fact....and most of the children avoided her...she would yell and by yelling I mean YELLING at the children by name, which would embarrass them and so they would not respond to her.

I didn't explain it well because quite frankly I've been in a state of mind myself with all that's been going on in my life and haven't been able to concentrate well enough.

Her biological father had bipolar and dsylexia (which we suspect she has as well as she writes her b's and d's backwards as well as 3's and 6's and 9's).

And lord knows what else because he was a very cruel man and he is no longer in our lives.

I don't mean to sound terse with you but I'm on edge lately especially with the fear of the possiblity that my now ex mother will stalk me on the internet and the way you wrote that sounded alot like her so I apologize if I've sounded abrubt.
 

MoochNNoodles

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It's no easy thing to have a child with a disability. One of the ladies in my chuch who I also worked with for a time (and she coordinated my wedding) has 2 autistic children. I've been around kids with a variety of disabilities all my life since my mother also works in Human Services. (we work for the same company now, working with adults) I've seen how parent's hurt for their children. But in the end, it seems the kids are generally happy. The woman I mentioned has done, in my oppinion, a very good job with her kids. She makes allowances for thier difficulties, but still encourages them to be the best they can be. I know early on, when her first child was diagnosed, she researched like crazy. She also met some other parents and they support eachother. I know your daughter's difficulties have got to be painful to watch and difficult too, but it sounds to me like you are doing a good job!
 

aphrodeia

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Originally Posted by ButterflyDream

While I appreciate your candor....she was diagnosed by 4 different medical professionals specializing in child development and psychology/psychiatry.
I'm not questioning whether or not she's got Aspergers, and I don't know how you read that. I simply said that many of her behaviors are totally within the realm of normal child behavior, and I believe you'd be doing her a disservice by treating her like something fragile or 'different'. Make allowances for her needs, sure, but she's really not that different.

I think your child sounds wonderful, and will grow into a perfectly capable (if quirky) adult. I'm sorry if I've offended you by suggesting it.

And forgive me for being terse. I'm not used to being replied to in such a way when I've just spent an entire post being encouraging.
 

zak&rocky

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I think we need to remember that Asbergers affects everyone very differently. I think that yes you should treat them the same... But you have to treat them differently to some extent. For example a kid with AS is not going to pick up that you are upset with them unless you tell them. Slamming a door or making a face will go right over there head.
 
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butterflydream

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Yes that's what I meant, we don't treat her any differently, but sometimes it takes a bit of explaining for her to understand the whys and hows of why we are upset with her. We try to treat her just the same as we would any other child. There are specifics that create a different view in her eyes of the universe.

So at times things can be difficult.


I should add that here lately I've been going through a rough patch myself and feeling a bit depressed/anxious/ ect.....tends to cause me to have slight flashes of terseness and anger.

Don't mean to come off that way if I do end up doing so.
 

elise1

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ButterflyDream,

I completely understand how trying and challenging it can be to raise a child with AS. Your post reminds me of where I use to be when my 13 year old AS son was much younger. There were days that I was brought to my knees and counted the minutes until my DH would come home and give me a break. My son also has bipolar, (he has been hospitalized and is on meds). Did you know that AS and bipolar are often found together in families?

I think you would benefit from the support and advice of other parents dealing with an AS child similar in age to your daughter. I found a wonderful support forum on the web and visited there daily for over 5 years. The members there pulled each other through the rough times and reminded each other to take care of themselves. I don't know if I can post the link here, (Google "A soft place to land"). But I hope you will find a similar support forum. It can help so much and all the parents will understand just what you are dealing with on a daily basis, (because they are in the same boat).

I am happy to say that the dark days are over, my son is doing much better now. Your in the rough years now. I promise you, it will get better.

Elise
 

shengmei

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I read your blog and it appears to me that your ex-husband also probably had Aspergers.......

So yeah, please try to not mentally associate your daughter with your ex-husband. That would be very painful for both of you.

Best of luck for everything.


I think AS and bipolar are often found together due to incompentent therapists. For years some chick who took some psychologist classes managed to convince everybody I was bipolar. I finally went to a real psychologist who upon examing me told me I was Aspergers, and if anything, I am the opposite of bipolar.

So yeah, somebody who is incompetent could easily confuse Aspergers and bipolar.......and bipolar medications often wreck havoc on Aspergers people because the biochemical pathways they interact are totally opposite.

P.S. Speaking of phones.....I HATE phones......I got my first cell phone this year and I only use it for emergencies. It took my coworkers two years to coax me to answer the phone at my laboratory when nobody else is around.
 
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butterflydream

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Originally Posted by Elise1

ButterflyDream,

I completely understand how trying and challenging it can be to raise a child with AS. Your post reminds me of where I use to be when my 13 year old AS son was much younger. There were days that I was brought to my knees and counted the minutes until my DH would come home and give me a break. My son also has bipolar, (he has been hospitalized and is on meds). Did you know that AS and bipolar are often found together in families?

I think you would benefit from the support and advice of other parents dealing with an AS child similar in age to your daughter. I found a wonderful support forum on the web and visited there daily for over 5 years. The members there pulled each other through the rough times and reminded each other to take care of themselves. I don't know if I can post the link here, (Google "A soft place to land"). But I hope you will find a similar support forum. It can help so much and all the parents will understand just what you are dealing with on a daily basis, (because they are in the same boat).

I am happy to say that the dark days are over, my son is doing much better now. Your in the rough years now. I promise you, it will get better.

Elise
I can't find the website Elise, I got several hits.....should I put the quotations on.

Sorry stress and tension have been building trying to share space with someone else and plus the kids and plus our cats (which my ILs hate). I'm near tears right now.
 

elise1

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It's the first one on Google's list when you enter "A soft place to land", (no quotes).

That may not be the right support forum for you, but there are others on the web for parents of AS kids.

Elise
 
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