Job problems

So I have been at my new job for a month, and I'm having problems. I am a major minority at work and it is really hard for me to fit in. Everything I have to say or my way of life is just ridiculous to my "friends." My friends say they're not racist, but then make racial comments all the time. Every job I have had I feel so alone because I am so much younger than everyone else. My job now has some people in my age group, but I still don't fit in. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said just do your job and go home. As simple as that sounds, I feel so lonely at work. Everyone needs a friend. Even though I hang out with some ladies at work, it's like they really don't want me around. I don't have any friends outside of work either. High school was a nightmare for me and I only went to college for a year and a half. I guess I just thought I could finally have a friend at work and I don't. People are nice to me and stuff, but I just feel like the little white girl tagging along. I don't really think they want me around.

I felt that way when I was stationed at Andrews AFB in MD. Of course I'm no longer in the military but it sucks...racism of any kind is deplorable....and I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I wish there was something I could say that would help you feel better......would you take instead a virtual hug?

Originally Posted by rachelh1018

Every job I have had I feel so alone because I am so much younger than everyone else.

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Same here. I can only persevere and grow older in the process.

Originally Posted by shengmei

Same here. I can only persevere and grow older in the process.

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Well, I used to have that problem. But I'm beginning to see it in my rear view mirror now, if ya know what I mean. Enjoy it while it lasts!

I'm at the inbetween here...either they have kids and are married or they're still in school earning their associates or bachelors. I finished my bachelors a LONG time ago, and have 7 years experience in the field.

Plus I understand with the racist thing, people here claim they are not racist, but somehow their following statement turns into a racist comment (i.e. I'm not racist...my best friend is <insert ethnic background here>."

Follow your boyfriends advice and keep coming back to TCS...it's what helps me get through my day!

I know how hard it is to want to fit in and instead feel like and outsider... I've experienced both... I was the most popular person at my first job... I had a ton of friends... we hung out outside of work and everything but all that did in the end was cause more drama than I could handle... I learned that it's best to keep a professional attitude at work... not to be totally anti social but not be too friendly... so at my next job I made a few very good friends.. and when I left it was hard to leave such a beneficial enviroment... and now that I'm this new store I've kept the same professional attitude and I'm the total outsider... no one talks to me... they treat me like I dont belong there and they're even doing things to get me to quit... which is starting to work because I've been searching for a new job...

I have to agree with your boyfriend... as long as people are nice to you... be nice to them but dont focus too much on trying to become friends because it can cause a lot of problems...

And as far as the racist thing is concerned... I'd make a note of the people who make the comments and when and I'd tell a supervisor about it because discrimination of any type is absolutely unacceptable and should be dealt with... I have nooooo sympathy for racists! Anyone here who knows me, knows that!

Originally Posted by rachelh1018

Every job I have had I feel so alone because I am so much younger than everyone else.

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I also feel the same way...I started working at my previous job (allstate insurance) at the age of 18....I was by far the youngest person there....then I moved over to my current job when I was 20 which is a very known health insurance company....I am now 22 and the next youngest person here would probably be in their lates 20's like 28 or 29....but everyone doesn't know how young I am since I don't act my age...it was funny when they found out how young I was at my bday...they were all shocked. The funniest thing is the person I talk to the most here is in her mid 40's...she old enough to be my mom but we are friends.....

When I was in the corporate world our office downsized in 2000. We went to 12 people. Of the 7 women I was the only one without children-oh yea wasn't that fun!! Plus all but one woman were younger than I-the closet was 7 yrs younger.
So I struggled with this from 2000 until the office closed last Sept.
Lots of times I didn't have much to say to the others-they would say "Gail what's wrong"-I couldn't say stop talking about your kids!!!
TCS helped me stay sane many times.