How do you turn a guy off?

Originally Posted by CommonOddity042

You cut a very loud fart when he hugs you.

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Thats the best

Originally Posted by lookingglass

Oh I almost forgot about this one, talk about your ex ALL the time. Say you still have feelings for him. Perhaps make up a story of how you and your ex had a date in the same spot that you and the current guy are in. Talk about it the WHOLE time.

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Ack. My bf does this (minus the "feelings for her" part), and that is definately a turnoff. Luckily, he's almost completely stopped talking about his exes now, but at the beginning of the relationship, every fifth sentence was something about his ex gfs...

Originally Posted by CommonOddity042

You cut a very loud fart when he hugs you.

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I thought that was a mating call. Just kidding! Some of these answers are really funny!

First time I farted in front of my now husband I think was a sign that he was also allowed to, and he hasn't stopped since....

Originally Posted by sarahp

First time I farted in front of my now husband I think was a sign that he was also allowed to, and he hasn't stopped since....

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Ahhhhhh... that's why women try to hold it in all the time. -makes sense now.

Originally Posted by sarahp

First time I farted in front of my now husband I think was a sign that he was also allowed to, and he hasn't stopped since....

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I think my bf and your husband might be related. The man plays some major butt-trumpet solos every night.

Originally Posted by CommonOddity042

I think my bf and your husband might be related. The man plays some major butt-trumpet solos every night.

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I heard you play the butt-tuba! You know I'm just kidding.

Originally Posted by Hydroaxe

I heard you play the butt-tuba!

You know I'm just kidding.

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I have dainty woman-flatulence. I play the butt flute.

Originally Posted by CommonOddity042

I have dainty woman-flatulence. I play the butt flute.

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Don't blow on the wrong end! Do you care to show us your flute?

gosh no!
If i had mentioned it before that i could have seen him marrying me he would have done it in a second since he thought i had australian citizenship!

Because he brought it up the other day and i was like huh? mate im an italian citizenship!

and today he asked if i needed mouth to mouth help, i mean honestly doesnt he think of better ways to get a kiss?

Come here Wyan, we can show him how its done!

Originally Posted by CommonOddity042

I have dainty woman-flatulence. I play the butt flute.

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I have to teach you female members here. We women don't fluff!

This is my kind of thread, toilet humour

this is hilarious!

This may not work since you two already know each other...but for future reference, tell them your job is something disgusting...like picking up dead animals off the road.

My sister once told a guy she was a mortician's assistant. He stuck around a bit to talk about what its like and then BOLTED when she started to descibe how the stomach feels between rubber gloves.

Great thread!

Fwan, didn't you once put a guy off kissing you by telling him that you'd just thrown up?

just stop being so gorgeous Fran!!!

Haven't you all seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days??? It states:

1. Put 99 stuffed animals around his house
2. Take out all of his cds and play Carly Simon, Fiona Apple, etc
3. Crash his guys night
4. Give him a plant to take care of
5. Bring around your kitty and refer to it as your "baby"
6. Give his manhood a female name "princess fiona!"

Althoug, I still couldn't figure out how she was trying to lose Matthew McConaughey??? I mean, wouldn't you be like "game over, I'll take this one!"

Originally Posted by LuckyGirl

Although, I still couldn't figure out how she was trying to lose Matthew McConaughey???

I mean, wouldn't you be like "game over, I'll take this one!"

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ME TOO!! I'd take him in an instant!

Originally Posted by babyharley

ME TOO!! I'd take him in an instant!

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I know right?! He is a dream!!! With that southern accent.... and beautiful bod!!! Just melts me like "buuuuudddda"! (that's how he says butter....did you see him on Oprah?! )

Ok, I need a cold shower now!!!

Originally Posted by pushylady

Great thread!

Fwan, didn't you once put a guy off kissing you by telling him that you'd just thrown up?

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Yeah but i guess i meant more like

How did you once put off a guy!?

Originally Posted by rosiemac

I have to teach you female members here. We women don't fluff!

This is my kind of thread, toilet humour

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The first time I tooted in front of my husband we were still dating and he was in the process of leaving my house....and I accidently let one rip.. ..I was upstairs and he was downstairs and he heard it....next thing I hear him saying is...

"Gosh darn ducks"

That's of course censored. But it certainly lifted the embarrassment I felt.

Course now that we are married, doesn't matter, I toot all the time...no holds bar

Originally Posted by georgiagirl8

Hey, there's lots of ways to turn off a guy. Let me see ...pick your nose, scratch your butt, burp, fart,.. should I go on?

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One of the Hs volunteers in her 30s that is single was telling me once how to scare a guy away.

Open your purse & whip out pictures of all of you pets. Tell him their names, ages, birthdates, sign(capricorn, etc.), favorite foods, favorite treats, favorite napping spots, how well they bathe themselves, any medical issues, if you have to do anything for them what it is("I have to wash his butt b/c he doesn't do a goop job", etc.), their faovrite song/Cd/artists, & their favorite movie. Tell him when he marries you that he gets to help "raise the kids".

If that doesn't scare a guy away, mention scooping poop & how it looks!