Living together....?

John & I have lived together ever since we've been together pretty much - we dated for 2 months and then moved in together. I had actually signed the lease and was planning on living alone, and then we just decided for him to move in with me.

My parents/family were all for it. They didn't want me to live alone, and they absolutely adore John.

I've been living with my fiance for about 2 1/2 years. Our parents are fine with it. The only people in the family who aren't keen on it are his grandparents. But even they don't really say anything about it...they know that we love each other and are both adults, so they kind of turn a blind eye to it.

Personally, I wouldn't want to marry someone I hadn't lived with first. There's just too much you can't know about a person until you've lived with them.

My parents weren't fine with it at first but I have lived with my boyfriend of 5.5 years for the past year. Before that we stayed over with each other all the time. But now him and my 3 kitties and him and his 3 kitties all live happily together. I am not a big fan of marrage (since it involves the church especially) and everyone knows that so they are fine with us living together.

I lived with my ex for 4 1/2 years, before we got married and we were married for 8. I THOUGHT that I knew him.

My parents aren't crazy about the way I lead my personal lfe but, they love me and accept that I am an adult, who has to make her own decisions.

In my most recent relationship, I lived with Bill, for 4 years and my parents came over for barbecues and Christmas.

Disaster!!!

If it is an alternative to marriage or you know you will be getting married but just not yet, that is a different story. I live, currently, with my ex-boyfriend and we have both realized that living with each other is probably the worst thing we could have done. I mean really, a huge disaster. Perhaps it's because we were only 20, perhaps our relationship was headed for disaster anyway. But living together certainly helped speed up the train to its wreck.

I will give you this advice. If you want to live together, put only one name on the lease and the utilities. Discuss whose name it should be, I would recommend yours. That way if things go as badly as mine did (let's just say the cops had to come) it's pretty clear who is going to move out and significantly less messy. Also, if you want to stay together but not live together, then he can just move in with a buddy or by himself without you having to break a lease or anything.

As for my parents, his didn't really care and mine won't come visit. I see them all the time, and I talk to my mom, but I think they're kind of uncomfortable with it. My sister lived with a boyfriend (also a disaster) and they found out about that, but she was 26 or so and they still pretended not to live together. Then she lived with her now-husband and obviously that is going much much much better, but they pretended not to live together too.

So. It works for some people, but do it the smart way so that you always have a way out and don't end up living with your ex-boyfriend for six months, because it can be pretty unpleasant. Although, we get along better now than we did at the end of the dating.

A bit off topic, but just in the event that you someday decide to get married....
You could have a civil ceremony performed by a judge. My fiance and I thought about doing this.
However, I doubt my fiance's grandparents would take the marriage seriously if it weren't done by a religious official (specifically a Christian minister), so we are having my step-moms's Episcopal priest do the ceremony. According to my step-mom, her church is very progressive and open-minded, and quite a departure from what I'm used to. And we're not having the wedding at a church...it's going to be in the beautiful back yard of the reception site.
I know marriage isn't for everyone, but if one of your big issues with it is religion, you can choose not to have the church involved in your wedding.

I've been with my boyfriend since high school, we came to the same University, and after our first year in residence he bought a house with his mom to use as a rental property. I asked if I could move into the house (it just seemed to make sence) and it's been 2 years. There are no problems living together, infact I find it quite nice. Ours is a different situation though, where I rent one of the rooms, so we each have our own space. We also have roomies, so it's not like we're ONLY living together. My parents are fine with it because I have my own bedroom

I have lived with my fiance for just over a year now.

Parents are fine with it and always have been!

But I wouldn't recommend signing a lease in only one name - This will always potentially mean that one person is NOT covered should something go wrong - At least if both names are on it, then both people are covered.

My fiancé and I have been living together for over two years and we essentially lived together for 9 months before that (splitting our time between my dorm and his place).

Though when we moved in together, it was nice because we found a house to rent, rather than one of us moving into the other's place. We got to start the next section of our lives in a new place together.

I also agree that if you're going to live together, you should be comfortable with the idea of spending the rest of your lives together. I can't imagine moving in with an SO with the idea that it won't last.

My parents were ok with it I think. They really didn't like that I was making GA my permanent home (I grew up in AZ and went to college in GA). For his first few visits out to AZ he had to sleep on the couch, but one trip, it just wasn't and issue and we were allowed to sleep together in my old room

My fiancé and I are also not religious, and will be married by a JP at the courthouse and then have a ceremony for family and friends that will be performed by a close friend of ours.

~Julia

I lived with my husband before we got married, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. My parents were actually the one's that had suggested it. They said that they knew we were in love and it would be cheaper for us if we got an apartment together so one of us wasn't paying rent in a place we wouldn't stay.

I lived with mine for about a year and a half before we got married. The only time mom was a little bit squirmish is when we flew out to visit her in Tucson. She had a 2 bedroom condo and gave us the guest room in spite of her comment "normally I don't agree with sleeping together before marriage, but you are living together anyway so go ahead and share the room". Steve offered to take the sofa if it made her uncomfortable, but she wouldn't have it. Been married close to 17 years now.

B and I are in our second year of living together (going on 3 years of dating). I have always been under the impression of living with someone first before making that big leap.

B has been engaged before and made the proposal before they moved in together. Once they were engaged and moved in, all they did was fight, fight, fight. so they ended the engagement.

When we did first move in together, my parents are of the established values (don't want to call the old) where my mom was bugging me when B was going to propose and also wanted to make sure that I had a firm commitment (i.e. ring) that said this. I said no to her on that. I told her that we don't want to get everyone's hopes up before we are sure this will work. After a year she finally accepted that.

We didn't live together before marriage. In fact, we didn't even formally live together until almost a month after marriage.

Here is the reason:

http://www.smartmarriages.com/stanley.men.anyway.html

DH and I lived together for at least a year before we got married. He already had his own place when I met him, and I just gradually moved in.....it all worked out for us Allthough I will say, my family didnt really approve it for religious reasons(grandparents espically).

Me and my DH dated for about 6-9 months before we moved in together and lived together 3 1/2 years before we got married. Of course we had a baby together (born)1 1/2 after we started dating, so people kind of expected that we get married, but of course I wouldn't until I was ready. It will be our 1 year anniversary on saterday (July 1st Canada day ).


All of my relatives were more concerned about us having a child together outside of marriage that living together lol

Church weddings are WAY overrated. Nowadays they are events of financial irresponsibility instead of a declaration of love.

I am the most religious person I know, but I still got married by GOP. I believed God wanted us to be fiancially irresponsible and be good shepherds of our resources that he had gracefully given us.

Our wedding costed us about $200, and we couldn't be happier.

(Besides, who wouldn't want to be married by the Honorable Ray Truelove?)

I didn't know there were other options. I just would not want the church involved at all since I am not religious in the slightest and I don't believe in God or anything. It just wouldn't make sense if I got married in a church. I don't see the point of marrage either, why do you need a piece of paper (marrage certificate) to claim that you love each other? It makes no sense. I don't want church or government involved in my love life

I think when you're making a decision for yourself, you shouldn't be too caught up in statistics. There are a lot of things that might explain statistics about divorce rates. Plus, you're not a statistic. Your chances of divorce are either 0% or 100%.

I think your best chances are to do what seems right to you and your boyfriend.

Personally, I've lived with my ex-boyfriend for 4 years and I'm glad we never got married, because the relationship wasn't going to work no matter what we did (I just didn't see it at the time) and it simpler to break up. The reason why our relationship didn't work wasn't because we weren't committed enough it was because we were not really compatible.
I'm sure that lack of commitement does cause a lot of divorces and separation... but marriage does not necessarily mean commitement (and lack of marriage, or living together before marriage, does not necessarily mean lack of commitement).

Kevin and I lived together for 6 months before we got married. Even though we were already engaged when we moved in together, I know that people on both sides of our families didn't like it. However I don't care what they think! If someone wants to be judgemental then I don't like them anyway.

I have heard a lot of stories of people who move in together, and a lot of times it doesn't work out. But, it's better that they realized that before they got married.

Bottom line, you have to do what is best for you. Hope this helps!

Lee and I live together and have for almost a year. We have been together for 3 years. We built our home together. I wouldn't have it any other way. i know we are going to get married and I couldn't see us both renting places knowing that we would be spending the night at one or the other all the time. I think its a decision to be made by each couple and what is right for them at that time!

My fiance and I have been together for 7 and 1/2 years. We were together for a year before we moved in together. Then, we didn't get engaged until a year and a half ago. Our families never had a problem with us living together... Neither one of use are going anywhere. Getting married basically comes down to finances now. We have the commitment and everything that goes along with it. We figure that one afternoon we will just up and decide to go get married and go on a cruise, and that's what we will do

Neither of our families have ever had a problem with the decisions we have made in our relationship. I met him when I was 19, and to be honest, I didn't have much of a drive to do anything with my life. Meeting him was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for him My family knows that, and can't have anything to say about the decisions i have made.

Doug & I have been living together now since 1985. Neither of us is interested in marriage, nor do we have any children.

My mother said to me once that she suspected that if we ever did marry, we wouldn't tell any of my family (Doug has hardly any relatives), and she was dead right about that!

I think my family have all got used to the situation, I would hope so, after 20+ years!

I wish my FH and I could be living together now, but we can't. I'm back in school and he's working six hours away at one of the hospitals in Charleston WV. If we did live together before we get married our parents wouldn't car, but his grandparents would flip out. His mom is alittle crazy about that subject because of it. When I met then in Pittsburgh last weekend she was going to have me share a room with her and my Fh and his dad share a room. Jon and his dad protested because his grandparents didn't need to know the sleeping arangements. I miss him so much..... June 16, 207 can't come soon enough

Well, the government gives you $$$$$ for being married

(Educational grants, etc)

Jeff is the first and only man I've lived with. I only wanted to live with the man I was going to marry (or thought I might like to marry) I find that when you live with somone you find out very quickly what they are really like. It's hard to pretend to be someone else when you are living together. My family was a little bit funny about it in the beginning but only because I am their only child and they want the best for me...they are fine with it now and love Jeff like he was their own son.

My wife and I dated each other for a few months, then she moved in with me. We lived together for 1 1/2 years before getting married. That was 6 years ago

Jerry and I lived 6 months together before the wedding. The biggest reason was that I had gotten a job up here quicker than I thought I would. Didn't make sense to live an hour away from my new job when it was right down the street from where Jerry lived, so I just moved in.

My parents were/are old fashioned, and don't believe in living together, so had I not gotten the job, I probably would have just continued spending my weekends with Jerry only. I have alot of respect for them and would never want to hurt them. Personally, I dont' see anything wrong with it. Everyone is different......

It was very important to me to get married in a church, but then again I firmly believe in God. Once again, everyone is different, and have had lots of friends get married by GOP's........whatever makes you happy I say!

Jeremy and I have been living together for 3 years, not married yet.

My mother doesn't care, she and my stepdad lived together 20 years before finally getting married.

Don't care if my dad likes it or not, he commited bigamy, that makes his opinion null and void.