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I am so angry!!!

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
I just got off the phone with my grandmother and she signed off saying "I think you might want to prepare Annabelle (my 3 year-old) that we had Cricket put to sleep, so she won't be here the next time she visits." Cricket was my grandparents SIX year old, pedigreed Yorkie. Apparently, they decided to put her to sleep because, everytime they left her alone for any length of time, she would potty on the floor. Yes, they had her checked and there was medically no reason for the accidents, so it was a behavioral issue.

So now I am thinking about how to broach the subject with my daughter. She's sharp and was attached to Cricket, so she will know she's gone even though she's only 3. We see them about once a week, so she'll notice soon. Do I say Nana and Papa are murderers? I think I'll just say that Cricket went bye, bye and that will be the end of it.

They had been talking about trying to find her a new home for about a year, mostly hinting that we take her on. We weren't planning on having any pets until Ruby unexpectedly showed up, and we certainly didn't want a dog. I had actually suggested at one point to take her to the shelter as a last resort (if their new carpet really was that important), but now they've just ended her life prematurely.

Sorry, I just had to vent. My husband and I are shocked that anyone would do this to an animal. Here we are spending our time and money, worrying constantly about Ruby (who we just found in the woods and made part of the family) and her babies and my grandparents are euthanizing their $600 companion pet for no good reason.
post #2 of 29
I know people's relationships with their families are often difficult and conflicted and filled with grey areas, so this is just my two cents. I've had to walk away/run away/hide away from family members before, so it comes more easily to me than to most people, I guess.

I wouldn't tell a 3 y/o that Nana and Papa are murderers, but I would be perpared to not take her to see them next week - or ever - and when they ask why, to tell them that it was because I wasn't prepared to tell a 3 y/o that her great-grandparents are murderers.

Anyway, you probably can't do that. I will never understand how people can be like this either.
post #3 of 29
Wow. Make sure they never get another pet. You have every right to be mad at them, both for doing something that should be criminal and also because they've put you in the terrible position of telling your child what happened to the dog she loved so much. You can't lie to her, so maybe this would be a good time to have a talk about responsible pet ownership with such a great example of what not to do right in front of you.
I can't really say much more about it without saying something offensive about your parents, so I think I'm done.
post #4 of 29
Thread Starter 
I'm just really hoping that "Cricket went by, bye" is sufficient explanation for my Annabelle. There is one up-side to the whole thing, though. My grandparent are in their 70's and lived on the farm most of their lives. My mom tells stories that, as a child, if a pet got sick or something, grandpa would just take it out to the woods with a shotgun and "put it out of its misery." At least Cricket was humanely euthanized, but it is still so sad.
post #5 of 29
Wow-I would be very upset too! That is really a pathetic excuse to have a dog put to sleep, Im sorry, but it is. And espically if it was their "pet"! Geesh-I am sorry you have to explain this to your 3y/o, Im sure that is not an easy task.
post #6 of 29
Gosh I'm sorry...maybe you can tell your little one that Cricket went to heaven and will always be watching over her???
post #7 of 29
I thought it was illegal to put any pet to sleep if they are healthy?
post #8 of 29
it probably depends on where you are on that regard.

Some vets just go off what the owners say and if the dog is older and they could be making up urinary track problems based on age, it is difficult to say.
post #9 of 29
How horrible. I wouldnt know how to tell any one that let alone a little girl that was attached to the dog.

And I am shocked the vet did it. A perfectly healthy dog.and just to PTS? sad sad sad. I know i wouldnt take my animals there.
post #10 of 29
Thread Starter 
I hadn't even thought of the legality of it, actually. Clearly, they found a vet willing to do it. Likely, it is the same vet that was trying to investigate the potty problems medically.

It shocks me that vets are willing to do procedures (i.e., declaws, pts) that are obviously not in the best interest of the animal. Is there a Hippocratic oath for vets? You know, first do no harm?

Right now, I am not even going to bring it up. Next time, we go over there I should let Annabelle ask them where Cricket is, let them explain what they have done. Maybe then they'll feel some remorse over their decision.
post #11 of 29
You know, I was thinking about saying you should have them tell her, but since they don't see anything wrong with it, it might give her some pretty terrible ideas either about how to care for animals or about her grandparents. Like, if they just look at her and say "Oh, he had to be put down because he peed everywhere" it will either shock her or give her the idea that that's okay or make her scared that if she wets the bed you'll do the same to her (kids minds work in strange ways). So I really think you need to tell her yourself. Although feel free to tell her to ask them why they did it, and see how they handle that!
post #12 of 29
The only reason I would let that happen is if your daughter wouldn't be upset by their response. I can think of a couple of things that might happen... 1) she might think that what grandma and grandpa did was okay... or 2) might get very very upset.

I agree that these people are terrible and shouldn't have done what they did, but if they haven't felt any remorse over what they've done in the past (ie w/the shotgun), I doubt it will start now.
post #13 of 29
Doctor's oath is "Do No Harm"

Veterinarian's oath is this:

Being admitted to the profession of veterinary medicine, I solemnly swear to use my scientific knowledge and skills for the benefit of society through the protection of animal health, the relief of animal suffering, the conservation of livestock resources, the promotion of public health and the advancement of medical knowledge.
I will practice my profession conscientiously, with dignity and in keeping with the principles of veterinary medical ethics. I accept as a lifelong obligation the continual improvement of my professional knowledge and competence.
post #14 of 29
I know how you feel. My sister had her little (I wish I could spell this correctly, but I can't- sorry.. Chiawawa) put to sleep because he was pottying in her laundry room. Spike was HER dog, but I fell in love with him, and he loved me as well. I can forgive her to some extent, but I think of her as a heartless inconsiderate person for putting him to sleep. I asked her, at the time, "Would you put your child to sleep it did something wrong?" She said, "Of course not." Well, I told her she should look at her pet in the same way, as you look at one of your human children. I simply can NOT understand why people have so little regard for animal life. Like their lives are less than ours in some way. It killed me inside to have my 20 year old Snoopy put to sleep, when he was actually dying.

Anyway, I wouldn't tell your little girl that your Grandparents are murders. I would just tell her that Cricket went to heaven.
post #15 of 29
This is totally appalling! I hope they never plan to get another animal.
post #16 of 29
Originally Posted by fwan
I thought it was illegal to put any pet to sleep if they are healthy?
It is in Germany, but not in the U.S..
post #17 of 29
Having small children myself I would be worried they would tell her they put her to sleep because it peed on the floor only because a small child might worry that would happen to her if she had a accident. Children don't understand things clearly and I would worry she would think that in the back of her mind.
post #18 of 29
Thread Starter 
Its ironic that so many of you have mentioned the peeing on the floor-death connection. Annabelle was fully potty-trained, then we moved and she started having accidents daily. We are now 3 days accident free. I definitely don't want ANYONE to mention that Cricket was put to sleep for going pee on the floor.
post #19 of 29
I love yorkies!! I had to put mine down darn near killed me! i would have taken it.How could they ??? As for your child,I would just tell her the puppy went to heaven ,becaues it was sick.
post #20 of 29
Sadly, your grandparents are from the traditional rural genre, and yes, to them, it isn't inhumane - at least, no more so than wringing a chicken's neck or sticking a pig. Perhaps the vet realized that if he didn't do it, your grandfather might have found someone else who would, and the deed wouldn't be done nearly as humanely. Even if they had put the dog in a shelter, the outcome most likely would have been the same, but maybe even in a gas chamber.
Godspeed over RB, little doggie! You were only trying to give a message using the communications that Nature gave you to use
IMO, make Nana tell your little one....
post #21 of 29
Like the last poster said, I would most definitely make grandma tell Annabelle (wonderful name by the way!) I can't even imagine how someone could be so sick. It's just disgusting. It is your grandmother's responsibility to explain to her granddaughter why the dog is no longer around. She wanted convenience so badly, it wouldn't hurt her to have the inconvenience of needing to explain this to a little girl. It is her responsibility as far as I am concerned.

I can't imagine getting a tiny dog and expecting it to not piddle on the floor. I have a friend with two Maltese dogs, they just get so excited and have such tiny little bladders that it is hard for them to hold it.

My uncle-in-law just got a 3 year old Yorkie from a backyard breeder who sold her for $200.
post #22 of 29
Originally Posted by esrgirl
Like the last poster said, I would most definitely make grandma tell Annabelle (wonderful name by the way!) I can't even imagine how someone could be so sick. It's just disgusting. It is your grandmother's responsibility to explain to her granddaughter why the dog is no longer around. She wanted convenience so badly, it wouldn't hurt her to have the inconvenience of needing to explain this to a little girl. It is her responsibility as far as I am concerned.
I would not allow the grandparents to explain this to a 3 y/o. If she was 10 or older, maybe she could understand, but at 3 you think adults and grandparents are to be trusted. How could a 3 year old possibly comprehend such an act?

Tell Annabelle that Cricket is in heaven. If she presses you, lie. (I know, its not good to lie to kids...but it also isn't good to crush their spirits by saying Grandma killed your little furry friend!)

Rest in peace, Cricket. Poor little doggy. Hopefully they will refrain from getting another pet.
post #23 of 29
What she said......just keep it short and simple.....Cricket went to Heaven and she is going to watch over you forever and always.

It is a shame that people do that sort of things....me.....It is hard to watch an animal suffer and I can understand euthanization for those reasons...but just for a behavior problem...I'm just really sorry for your whole situation.
post #24 of 29
I am in shock the vet did it.
Its simply horrific. no wonder you are shocked.
poor dog..
I would decide on a story . that the dog died, maybe ran in front of a car and have your parents swear to stick to it.
on a side issue I would consider them unfit on any care giving be it human or animal.
Where did they get the dog from? is it possible to put a report into local breeders/ rescue shelters so they cannot adopt again?
post #25 of 29
This is how I got my Vino, his owners were tired of taking care of him and were going to put him to sleep, he's a perfectly healthy little dog. Luckily someone intervened and took him and now i have my little boy! I would definitely jsut tell your daughter Cricket went to heaven and leave it at that, but what a horrible thing to do
post #26 of 29
Thread Starter 
I really doubt that they will ever even consider getting another pet. Like I said, these are my grandparents, my daughters' great-grandparents. They are retired and like to travel. I just don't think they thought Cricket fit in with their lifestyle anymore. I used to dog-sit for cricket in my home when they travelled, for $50 a week and she NEVER had an accident, even when we had to leave her in a strange house. Its so sad and strange too. They had a farm dog that lived to be 25, Sugar, and they were taking her to the vet weekly because she was ill. Maybe she wasn't such a "burden" because she lived outside and wasn't in position to ruin their new carpets. Oh, well. It makes my blood boil.
post #27 of 29
That is such a sin.... I am shocked that a vet would do this over a behavioral issue. And I can't believe that they wouldn't turn her over to a rescue group or no-kill shelter, explaining her issues, then maybe she could be re-trained by a professional and placed in a home where there will be a person home most of the time. We were worried about my kitty scratching the furniture (we had brand new expensive furniture, and didn't plan on finding a kitty), and when I asked the vet about declawing and remedies she told me that they will only declaw as a last resort, if all other options were exhausted. She recommended several things (including soft claws which we use), and clearly stated that she does not approve of declawing, but if the animal is physically scratching children, furniture, etc and it comes down to giving the animal in to a shelter, they would do the procedure. It is appalling that a vet would do such a thing.

As far as your daughter goes, I would probably tell her that Cricket died and went to heaven, and hope that she does not ask too many questions. Then if she re-visits the topic with your grandparents, and they tell her the entire truth, you can explain your feelings to her, that this is horribly wrong, and that you do not approve of what they did. Best of luck with Annabelle....RIP Cricket.
post #28 of 29
Aw, poor Cricket. I can't beleive they wouldn't look further into her issue before Putting her down..That's too sad.
post #29 of 29

maybe the vet DIDN"T do it. Maybe the vet just put the yorkie under and kept her for himself after she woke up!

That is what I am going to believe in my little head.

I find it interesting that your grandparents would rather PAY to have the dog euthanized, then SELL it for what it was worth! (or even give it away for that matter, even that is more free than PAYING to kill the dog)

I would tell Annabelle that the doggie moved to a new home with new friends. 3 year olds don't understand death. Being gone forever is not a concept they can wrap thier heads around. Make up some cute story about the pup and how great her life is now. Leave it at that.

The three and a half year old I nannied had to have his doggie put down, and it was really sad seeing him TRY to understand death. He was really only mimicing his parents emotions though. It was odd.
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