- Joined
- Jan 17, 2006
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Was responding to a post, and it brought to mind a few funny memories...next "acts" coming soon...
...and I'm not kidding, this scene played out every day for a month...
Characters:
Patches: moody, old female calico. Lived on the streets for a while. Hates everything, including inanimate objects. Has bad teeth and arthritis. Top cat.
Princess: impatient older tuxedo. Has "little cat" syndrome. Runt of the litter. Concerned about her position on the heirarchy.
Puppy: young, confused orange male. Very large. Doesn't seem to live in reality. Generally likes other living creatures. Indifferent about his position on the heirarchy.
Bisquit: old terrier dog. Bottom of the heirarchy. Likes to chase cats, but knows better than to chase the cats in the same household. Terrified of the other three.
Human: servant of previous four.
Act 1, Feeding time
*Human working at table. Patches enters quietly.*
*5 minutes go by.*
Patches: Meow.
Human: (looks at clock) 10 minutes, Patch.
*5 more minutes go by.*
*Patches strolls up behind human. Swiftly bites Human's ankle.*
Human: PATCHES!
Patches: Meow.
Human: Fine.
*Human goes to food drawer. Patches goes to back door. Human opens food drawer*
*Puppy walks in from next room. Stops at entrance.*
Princess (from other end of house): meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow...
*Princess dashes in, still meowing. Pauses as she passes Puppy*
Princess: Hiss!
* Princess and Human walk to door. Puppy follows.*
Patches (to Puppy): Hiss!
Princess (to Puppy): Hiss!
Patches and Princess (to each other): HISS!
*Human opens door. Bisquit is on other side.*
Patches (to Bisquit): Hiss!
Princess (to Bisquit): Hiss!
Patches and Princess (to each other): HISS!
*Bisquit so terrified that she doesn't move. Standoff*
*Human taps Princess and Patches with foot.*
Patches (to foot): Hiss!
Princess (to foot): Hiss!
Patches and Princess (to each other): HISS!
*Human sighs, tried to tap Puppy with foot. Puppy nudges ahead of Princess and Patches.*
Patches (to Puppy): Hiss!
Princess (to Puppy): Hiss!
Patches and Princess (to each other): HISS!
Human: MOVE!
*Human picks up dog, carries her in. Patches and Princess attempt to move forward at same time.*
Patches (to Princess): Hiss!
*Princess steps back. Patches goes forward, and stops in front of food table. Princess follows, then Puppy.*
*Princess passes Patches and jumps up.*
Patches (to Princess): Hiss!
*Puppy passes Patches and jumps up. Lands near Princess.*
Princess (to Puppy): Hiss!
Patches (to Human): Meow.
*Human picks up Patches, sets her on table.*
Patches (to Human): Hiss!
Human (to Patches): Whatever.
*Human dishes out wet food. Puppy eats normally. Princess scarfs hers down. Patches sniffs hers.*
Patches (to food): Hiss!
Human: What?
Patches (to Human): Hiss!
Human: Fine.
*Human takes food to warm up. Princess is finished, walks to Puppy.*
Princess: Hiss!
*Puppy confused, does nothing.*
Princess: Hiss!
*Princess buts Puppy out of the way.*
*Patches moves to Princess's bowl, licks leftovers. Puppy sitting at end of table. Human comes back.*
Human: Girls....
*Human adds warm food to Patches. Moves all cats back to their bowls. Adds food to Puppy. Puppy learns and starts scarfing food.*
Princess (at empty food bowl): Hiss!
Patches (to Princess): Hiss!
Princess (to Patches): Hiss!
Human (to both): HISS!
*Patches and Princess look startled. Puppy finished eating. Human picks up Princess and Puppy, walks to door.*
Princess (to Puppy): Hiss.
*Human drops cats in front of door. Opens door. Bisquit is standing there.*
Princess (to Bisquit): Hiss!
*Human picks up Princess, throws her inside past Bisquit. *
Patches: Meow.
*Human picks up Patches, lowers her to floor.*
Patches (to Puppy): Hiss!
*Human sighs. Picks Patches up. Walks through door.*
Patches (to Bisquit below her): Hiss!
*Puppy decides to walk past Bisquit. Bisquit cowers, then realized that the world is safe again. Walks outside. Human shuts door.*
End Act 1, feeding time.
...and I'm not kidding, this scene played out every day for a month...
Characters:
Patches: moody, old female calico. Lived on the streets for a while. Hates everything, including inanimate objects. Has bad teeth and arthritis. Top cat.
Princess: impatient older tuxedo. Has "little cat" syndrome. Runt of the litter. Concerned about her position on the heirarchy.
Puppy: young, confused orange male. Very large. Doesn't seem to live in reality. Generally likes other living creatures. Indifferent about his position on the heirarchy.
Bisquit: old terrier dog. Bottom of the heirarchy. Likes to chase cats, but knows better than to chase the cats in the same household. Terrified of the other three.
Human: servant of previous four.
Act 1, Feeding time
*Human working at table. Patches enters quietly.*
*5 minutes go by.*
Patches: Meow.
Human: (looks at clock) 10 minutes, Patch.
*5 more minutes go by.*
*Patches strolls up behind human. Swiftly bites Human's ankle.*
Human: PATCHES!
Patches: Meow.
Human: Fine.
*Human goes to food drawer. Patches goes to back door. Human opens food drawer*
*Puppy walks in from next room. Stops at entrance.*
Princess (from other end of house): meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow...
*Princess dashes in, still meowing. Pauses as she passes Puppy*
Princess: Hiss!
* Princess and Human walk to door. Puppy follows.*
Patches (to Puppy): Hiss!
Princess (to Puppy): Hiss!
Patches and Princess (to each other): HISS!
*Human opens door. Bisquit is on other side.*
Patches (to Bisquit): Hiss!
Princess (to Bisquit): Hiss!
Patches and Princess (to each other): HISS!
*Bisquit so terrified that she doesn't move. Standoff*
*Human taps Princess and Patches with foot.*
Patches (to foot): Hiss!
Princess (to foot): Hiss!
Patches and Princess (to each other): HISS!
*Human sighs, tried to tap Puppy with foot. Puppy nudges ahead of Princess and Patches.*
Patches (to Puppy): Hiss!
Princess (to Puppy): Hiss!
Patches and Princess (to each other): HISS!
Human: MOVE!
*Human picks up dog, carries her in. Patches and Princess attempt to move forward at same time.*
Patches (to Princess): Hiss!
*Princess steps back. Patches goes forward, and stops in front of food table. Princess follows, then Puppy.*
*Princess passes Patches and jumps up.*
Patches (to Princess): Hiss!
*Puppy passes Patches and jumps up. Lands near Princess.*
Princess (to Puppy): Hiss!
Patches (to Human): Meow.
*Human picks up Patches, sets her on table.*
Patches (to Human): Hiss!
Human (to Patches): Whatever.
*Human dishes out wet food. Puppy eats normally. Princess scarfs hers down. Patches sniffs hers.*
Patches (to food): Hiss!
Human: What?
Patches (to Human): Hiss!
Human: Fine.
*Human takes food to warm up. Princess is finished, walks to Puppy.*
Princess: Hiss!
*Puppy confused, does nothing.*
Princess: Hiss!
*Princess buts Puppy out of the way.*
*Patches moves to Princess's bowl, licks leftovers. Puppy sitting at end of table. Human comes back.*
Human: Girls....
*Human adds warm food to Patches. Moves all cats back to their bowls. Adds food to Puppy. Puppy learns and starts scarfing food.*
Princess (at empty food bowl): Hiss!
Patches (to Princess): Hiss!
Princess (to Patches): Hiss!
Human (to both): HISS!
*Patches and Princess look startled. Puppy finished eating. Human picks up Princess and Puppy, walks to door.*
Princess (to Puppy): Hiss.
*Human drops cats in front of door. Opens door. Bisquit is standing there.*
Princess (to Bisquit): Hiss!
*Human picks up Princess, throws her inside past Bisquit. *
Patches: Meow.
*Human picks up Patches, lowers her to floor.*
Patches (to Puppy): Hiss!
*Human sighs. Picks Patches up. Walks through door.*
Patches (to Bisquit below her): Hiss!
*Puppy decides to walk past Bisquit. Bisquit cowers, then realized that the world is safe again. Walks outside. Human shuts door.*
End Act 1, feeding time.
