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Grieving-my sweet Laylabug has disappeared.

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Sorry, I didn't know where to post this. I don't know where to start. I have had several cats in my life that I loved dearly and last summer I had to have my dear 20 yr old Bear to sleep. She was such a great cat. I grieved for her but I knew she was so much better off and not suffering anymore. I had her Mommy-Punky for 16 years. She was a beautiful Calico. In Nov. my DD and I went to Petsmart for dogfood. When we arrived, there were shelter cats and four kittens of course right in front. My DD was telling me to get one. My head said no-my heart said yes. It justs rips the heart out of me every time I lose a pet and that's why I hesitated . Long story short, there was a beautiful little Tortie that I picked up. She was black with rusty brown markings-sort of a reverse Calico. As soon as I took her out and snuggled her into my neck she purred. That was it. I was hooked. My DD laughed b/c I had to go back in the store for litter box, food, etc. She said Layla was a mix of our black cat Bear and Bear's calico mommy. DD drove us home. We named her Layla-DH and I are big Clapton fans. I had to take her out of the carrier b/c she was crying. As soon as I took her out, she stretched her little legs out across my lap and there she stayed for the hour ride home! Needless to say, we bonded very deeply. DH just shook his head and grinned when I came home with her. Right away, she and my 7 yr old dog Ripples started playing after their initial "shock" of meeting each other. They have been buddies ever since.
I had her spayed in March and started letting her outside to play. She just loved it. She loved to lie in my perennial garden especially under the bird feeders-what a BRAT! Thank goodness the birds were faster than her. Well Saturday nite, she asked to go outside before dark and I let her out. About an hour later, I decided to go to bed and I FORGOT to let her back in. I woke up at 1:30 AM Sunday to the sound of screaming cats. OMG I jumped out of bed, ran downstairs and opened the door and called to her. As soon as I did, the screaming stopped. I called her a few times and thought maybe it was the neighbors "wild" cats they feed in their barn for the past 10 yrs. or so. So I went back upstairs and listened for Layla thinking probably my DS or DH had let her in. When I got up Sunday and realized what had happened, it was like being punched in the stomach! I could not believe how irresponsible and stupid I was to forget her!!! I can't eat, I can't sleep, I pace the floors not knowing what has happened to her. For the most part I'm thinking that something got her but a tiny part of me has some hope. My dog just lays by our screen door and looks out everytime she hears a noise and then sadly puts her head back down. She wouldn't even get up and come sit by me for her nightly loving last nite! She looks at me as if to say "where is she" and "how could you forget her". I am so very very devastated. I feel as though I've lost my child-because I have. How could I be so STUPID!!! I cry all the time. My dh even cried this AM. He keeps telling me it's not my fault, but it is. I cry doing dishes b/c she used to love to scare the bejeepers out of me and jump up in my window by my sink and meow to come in. I cry when I look at my garden, I cry when I let my dog out and expect her to come flying in and go flying right back out to play with the dog. I miss her so when I'm sitting on the couch and she climbs up on me and I pet her. And if I stop to soon, she reaches her little paw up and pats my chin til I pet her again. I miss her sweet little kitty kisses on my face and arms. I miss her sleeping with us. It hurts so BAD!!! Please everyone, say a prayer for her that no matter where she is whether it's here on earth or up in Heaven, that she is safe and warm and not in pain. I pray to God for her safe return and if not I pray for the strength to move on and forgive myself for what I have done. There will never be another cat in my life. I just can't stand this pain. Thank you for being here ... I thank God I found this site today. Keepin' the faith...Dawn
post #2 of 17
Don't give up hope....hopefully she will show up. How about checking your neighbors place where the wild cats are...maybe she's hanging out there, or could be injured over in that direction?

I sure hope she shows up and is okay....I know you are just devastated..please keep us posted!

Hugs,

Karen
post #3 of 17
Thee is nothing worse than not knowing - I have been there. But maybe she was fighting and got scared and ran off, and she will come back. Or has just got lost and you will be able to find her. Have you put up flyers and things, and rung round the vets and shelters? Don't give up on her yet.
post #4 of 17
post #5 of 17
I am praying that Layla will return. ***hugs***
post #6 of 17
I agree that you shouldn't give up yet. If she was involved in a cat fight, she may have been chased off and be having trouble finding her way home. Maybe take some long walks with the dog. Be sure to read the info in the link posted by Hissy.

I hope you can find your Layla. My thoughts are with you!
post #7 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much everyone for your caring and concern. Thank you Hissy I will be sure to check out those links. I feel as though I'm on a roller coaster. I'm ok one minute then cry for a while and then I try to keep myself busy. I am hoping and praying she was just scared off and will return. It's just so hard not knowing if she died a horrible death or if she's out there injured or has lost her way home and is trying to get back. I guess it's in God's hands. My dog was a little perkier a while ago. DD brought her Boxer Keegan down for a while to puppysit and they get along well. She's on the couch right now and Ripples is by the door again, but she is sleeping. Guess that's all we can do is wait and see and pray. Thank you soooo very much again for your kind words. Keepin' the faith...Dawn
post #8 of 17
come home sweet darling Layla - we are all worried about you

come on everyone - we need TCS board magic to get Layla to come home safely.

I am going to move this to Cats SOS forum so that we can all keep updated on Layla and send out thoughts and 'come home' vibes your way

come home layla
post #9 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much for all of your help Huggles. This site has been a Godsend to me. I have been looking at several different threads, but this SOS thread just breaks my heart but God Bless every one of these beautiful, cat loving people. The world would be a much brighter place if everyone treated animals AND their fellow human beings the same loving way we treat our cats.
post #10 of 17
Thread Starter 
BTW how do I get an avatar of Layla by my signature. I went to the UserCP but it doesn't seem to have any info on how to do this.
post #11 of 17
I am praying that your little Layla finds her way home to you soon.

Keep us posted.

JIL05
post #12 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thanks Jil for the kind thoughts. We are still waiting and hoping. I was going to take a walk again tonite, but weather is not cooperating here. I made phone calls to alot of neighbors today. Funny thing is, I found out that 3 houses on one side of me feed feral cats and another person about 1/2 mile away feeds about 20 feral cats also! I can't believe the overpopulation of them in such a rural area. Everyone I spoke with though is keeping an eye out for her and are going to look in likely places on their properties. In the meantime, we will do all we can and just keep praying for a miracle.
post #13 of 17
{{{{come home safe vibes for Layla }}}}

Layla please find your way home soon Sweetie,your meowmy is heartbroken and missing you

I hope Layla comes home very soon Dawn
post #14 of 17
Dawn, I am adding {{{come home safely Prayers & Vibes}}}. Yes, the not knowing is the worst Hopefully, she has been in a fight & scared off & will somehow find her way home. And please don't beat yourself up with guilt about letting her out; I once had an inside-only cat who died at a young age of cancer & I sometimes wonder if I had cheated him from so many days of being outside, enjoying the sunshine, etc; I treasured him so much, that I did my best to keep him sheltered, but I wonder if he would have stayed healthy if he had had some outdoor time.
post #15 of 17
Good luck finding your kitty. You and yours are in my thoughts.
post #16 of 17
Thread Starter 
Joey N. Thank you for your thoughts. It is true that just as we humans are only here for a while-some longer-so it is with our furry friends. They become part of our families-the lucky ones. I am sure your sweet kitty and mine are together and wherever they are, they are happy and grateful for the love they gave us and the love we gave them. They touched our hearts and will never be forgotten. I know each time I've lost a pet, a piece of me went too. I have decided to give my new bag of cat food I purchased the day before Layla disappeared to the lady down the road who feeds about 20 feral cats according to her daughter. I think I will chip in a bag for them every once in a while. They may be too wild to pet, but I can still love them with food!!!LOL!!!
Satai-thank you for your kind words. It means so much that everyone is so caring and understanding. Keeping' the faith...Dawn
post #17 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by DawnMF
I have decided to give my new bag of cat food I purchased the day before Layla disappeared to the lady down the road who feeds about 20 feral cats according to her daughter. I think I will chip in a bag for them every once in a while. They may be too wild to pet, but I can still love them with food!!!LOL!!!
Satai-thank you for your kind words. It means so much that everyone is so caring and understanding. Keeping' the faith...Dawn
You are welcome, I'm keeping the faith too.

I think the kitty food idea is a good one - maybe you could talk to the lady about TNR?
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TheCatSite.com › Forums › Feral Cats and Rescue › Cats S.O.S › Grieving-my sweet Laylabug has disappeared.