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trouble bonding

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
HI!! I adopted a female grey striped tabby whom i have bonded really well too,she's my baby! But i have also adopted an orange tabby for a companion for her and i'm having a hard time bonding with him, He's cute and all and i do love him but i just have'nt you know,bonded.Could this be due to the fact that hubby picked him out?Is this normal on my part?Or does it maybe take a little longer to bond to others,he's really aloof and to himself,where Peaches is in your face snuggle and cuddle.Could this be why i'm having such a hard time? I really do want to bond with him but i don't know if i will.
post #2 of 3
Allow me to digress for a second. I was touring the largest milk dairy in the USA this past week. I observed the berth of a calf and noticed the tech. was bottle feeding the calf immediately. After awhile when the tech. finished the calf tried to nurse from it's mothers teet. The mother cow kind of moved around and pushed the calf away.

I went up to the tech. and asked her to explain what I just observed. She said that the calf and mother is seperated after one day. The calf is not allowed to nurse from the mother and as they grow older and have their own they don't allow their calf's to nurse either. She said that if they allowed the calf to nurse from the mother the two would bond. If they bond then they can never seperate them without them both crying and balling all the time. They milk some 3200 cows per day and the cows need to be dependent upon the milking machine not the calf. After one day the calf's are placed in their own pen with other calves and they grow up with that particular herd for virus protection reasons.

My point is that bonding is a process. If you don't engage this new cat and work with it you two may never bond. However, if you work with the new cat and learn it's personality and he learns yours the bonding process will take place.

Good luck.
post #3 of 3
Give yourself time. Even if it never feels as much like "your" cat, you can still be a great step-mom.

Wanting to bound is probably half the battle.
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