I lost my baby earlier this past week. Sylvestor was my baby boy, my first cat that I could call my own. I found him as a stray and it took month's for him to trust me. Once he did, he never let go. He has was my constant companion for 4 years, and he's gone. I can't help but feel guilty for it. He was an outside cat for a long time, and I couldn't break him of it, so I would only let him out at night.. less traffic around and such. I was constantly in fear of him being hit by a car, but I never imagined he would go the way he did. He was bit by a snake Wednesday morning I am guessing. I looked for hours and hours, and I couldn't find him, and he wasn't coming when I called. He always came. When he didn't, I knew something was wrong. I knew something was wrong the moment I woke up. Around 3pm, my neighbor called saying my cat was in his backyard by the creek... and he was gone. I ran over there and got him. I'm pretty sure he was poisoned. No sign of trauma or anything like a dog or something. I just... it hurts so bad you guy's. I can't even explain it. I cried and cried for days, and I still do. When I take a nap in the afternoons, he was always right there spooning me, and he's not there anymore. When I would come home, he was always at the door to greet me, and he's not there. After Lil' Bit passed, it hurt, but I never imagined Syl's passing would hurt as much as it does. I have NO idea how to cope with this. I can almost feel myself slipping away because he's no longer with me, and the guilt hurts the most. I suppose it will pass, and my only comfort comes in the fact that he is somewhere now that nothing can hurt him. I just wish I had more time with him. Seriously, how do you cope with something like this. A freaking snake ... of all the thing's in the world a snake. My neighbor did find a snake, and we are pretty sure that was the one that got him. Why does this have to hurt so bad. I miss him so much it hurts. RIP my sweet baby boy. I love you so much, and there will never be a cat that can compare to you. You trusted me, and I failed you, and I'm so sorry, but play happily and free over the bridge my love. I will see you again soon. Keep Bit company, and show him the ropes.
post #1 of 20
6/19/06 at 3:54am