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post #31 of 35
Being married is great. I've been married since August, 1st. We were together more than three years before that. I knew I was in love with him a little less than a year after we started dating. We started talking marriage about a year and a half into it.

I think what makes us successful is that we dealt with a lot before we got married and faced some pretty serious issues. We were able to face them together, when a lot of other people fall apart. I'm not talking about cheating here, but things like death, illness, and family issues. We communicate. Sometimes we do fight, but we don't call each other names and we never get mean. We both had pretty realistic expectations of what it meant to be married and talked about the big and little issues before we got married (kids, religion, what would happen if one of us died, whose job would take priority, etc). We compromise on a lot. We share values and most political and moral views (but not all). We are both Christian, although I wasn't when we first started dating. We are different denominations, but again we discussed this prior to marriage and have already discussed the religion issue when it comes to having kids. I get to know new things about him every day, but I've never had to ask myself, "who am I married to and why?" like a lot of others I know have asked. Divorce isn't an option with either of us and we never went into this thinking it was (another problem I've seen with friends who have ended up divorced- divorce was always seen as a last resort option, not as something they'd never let happen).

It is possible to have a great relationship, despite previous experiences and family experiences, etc. You just have to want it and do everything you can to make it grow and keep it together.
post #32 of 35
We refer to ourselves as "happily unmarried," and have been so for nearly 22 years. We decided right off that we were not having children, but if we had we would have gotten maried.
We were friends for several years before we were a couple, and though I knew I had feelings for him, it did not strike me as what kind of feelings I had until he left and joined the Navy. I really missed him, but the first time I saw him when he came home for a visit after boot camp, I saw him in a whole new light. He was all grown up, and boot camp had really done him good. He was 16 and I was 20 when we met. Not a huge difference now, but it was then.
We have had our ups and down like everyone else, but I figure as long as i am still happy to see him every morning when I wake up, life is good.
post #33 of 35
I don't think we are a typical couple by any means but..yes, we are happily married. We celebrate 11 years in the Fall.

I knew how I wanted to be treated, how I wanted to feel, what was most important to me (sharing the same values - honesty is crucial for me for one), what a marriage would mean to me (a committment for life).

I waited a long time to meet my husband, made a lot of mistakes along the way, learned a lot, and took some time off to get myself straight on who I was and what I wanted.

My love has grown deeper year after year.

It is a story I've told here, parts of it, but without getting into it, it really took the hand of God to have brought the two of us together - from age difference, to living thousands of miles apart, different careers..the one shared interest that helped us meet - cats (well, add computers as well).

I can honestly say I can't imagine life without him. We finish each others sentences, or I will say what he's just about to, before he's gotten the words out (which leads to him telling me to "get out of his head" ).

My husband has shown me what unconditional love is like in action, which is an extraordinary thing to experience. The marriage and relationship has been the most incredible blessing of my life. He is a most exceptional human being, and I trust him with my life. He is truly my best friend.

The most important piece of advice anyone ever gave me, came from a cherished friend, who told me to make the marriage the most important relationship, ahead of any other, including parental or other family relationships. It was a good piece of advice.
post #34 of 35
It will be 1 year on July 1st for me and my DH since we were legally married.

Kyle and I have been together for close to 5 years (since I was 15 and he was 19),living together for 4 1/2 years and we have a 3 1/2 year old son together. We waited to make sure getting married was right for us. We didn't want to get married just because we had a child together. I think that made a world of difference. A piece of paper did not change the way we felt for eachother but it was nice to do the whole wedding thing.

We do a lot together but we make sure we have alone time and outside friends for our own sanity and we respect eachother. Our personalities fit pretty well together too, as I am dominate and he is more layed back about most things, but we both believe to have a great marriage, it has to be 100 100. We both have to do our very best to make sure the other one is happy and that way we normally end up with great compromises.

I found this first year has been hard financially (I am no longer working and attending university full time), we have less time for eachother and just more stress than before. We just had to make more of an effort to make things work and the last 2 months have been absolutely amazing. You do not need money for happiness and we've really learned the meaning of that!

Oh yea....and my number one requirement is that he must LOVE cats!
post #35 of 35
I love him dearly, he is my best friend. He is not perfect and neither am I. I think a lot of people expect their mates to be perfect in the beginning and set themselves up for disappointment down the road. We also make it a point to talk when one of us is upset with the other. He is laid back and all relaxed, I am a worrier. We compliment each other though. He is always looking out for my needs which makes me want to look out for his. We also spend time apart which gives us something to talk about. We make it a point to have romance as well. We also put our relationship before any other, meaning parents, friends.
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