What is it like? How do you feel about your spouse? What are your general thoughts on a successful marriage. I'm very curious for some reason, as I don't see myself getting married and I don't know why.
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Attention Happily Married people...
- Thread starter trouts mom
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There are two websites I visit daily. They really help me with my marriage.
www.marriagemissions.com
www.smartmarriages.com
I feel my spouse is a bit annoying at times, but he is a very good man. He is deeply loved by my cats and he is extremely good with children. Sometimes I feel a bit aggrevated because he is not in grad school yet, but that will soon change.
www.marriagemissions.com
www.smartmarriages.com
I feel my spouse is a bit annoying at times, but he is a very good man. He is deeply loved by my cats and he is extremely good with children. Sometimes I feel a bit aggrevated because he is not in grad school yet, but that will soon change.
This sounds cheesy but we really are best friends! We began our relationship as friends, so I think that helps. I'm a bit high-strung, he's laid back (sometimes to the point of frustrating me), but I think we compliment each other. Really actions speak louder than word. I stay home with the kids but my husband and I split housework and cooking 50/50. No conversation it just happened. I"m a stay at home mom not a housewife. His implicit understanding of that is what makes me love him more every day!
Yeah my husband actually does most (if not all) of the housework in this house. We have some kind of role reversal thing going on.
This is my second marriage. I totally totally love my husband, and he loves me, too. It is like spending the rest of my life with my best friend. Neither of us picks at the other, or holds grudges. Its not so much that either one of us is perfect, but we both think we "married up". I still feel fortunate to have him in my life, and try to let him know it.
We kiss every time we say goodbye. On the phone, we say "I love you" before hanging up. In his eyes, I am beautiful. We both planned to be married to each other "as long as we both shall live".
When we met, I was divorced and certainly never planned on getting married again, because I knew I would never meet the right guy. He never planned to marry, because he didn't want to have kids, then go through a divorce and lose them. Seven months after we met, we got married! So never say never! LOL!
We kiss every time we say goodbye. On the phone, we say "I love you" before hanging up. In his eyes, I am beautiful. We both planned to be married to each other "as long as we both shall live".
When we met, I was divorced and certainly never planned on getting married again, because I knew I would never meet the right guy. He never planned to marry, because he didn't want to have kids, then go through a divorce and lose them. Seven months after we met, we got married! So never say never! LOL!
Wierd. Well I am NOT married. And probably wont be for a while. But have been with my spouse for 4 years. And we have a 2 year old daughter. Marriage is sort of out of the question money wise, and we're practically married anyhow. We've been living together for 3 years.
So anyways-
We've had our fall-outs with the biggest one just recently. But something just happens everytime and we fall back into each others arms.
I HONESTLY now think these are the the things you need.
Love.
Well in order to keep love going, you've got to make sacrifices.
Trust. You need trust in order to love fulfillingly. Really.
TRUST everything they do, at all times. Love will come soon after that.
Talk. About everything. Even if it's about what you did on the cat site today, talk about it. That's just little things. Talk about your relationship and where it stands whenever it feels crappy.
Fight. Yes. Fight. Fight it all out! End with a big swear word to throw them off, and make sure you ment it. After that, give it a few minutes, and everything will be back to normal, plus making up is the best. Especially after swearing at them.
Support. Support EVERYTHING they do. Even if it's the way they cut the lawn, or the big job promotion...Support it all. My guy needs that. I sometimes forget that.
And most of all....Be a freak at times. For real, get out the sexy little dress and dance for him. Do "dancer" type things. lol.
Anyways-Yea...Thats what I've learned SO Far. lol.
I also highly recommend a book called "The five love languages" By Gary Chapman.
It's saved tons of relationships, if you were ever to run into a problem. It's a very good book!
So anyways-
We've had our fall-outs with the biggest one just recently. But something just happens everytime and we fall back into each others arms.
I HONESTLY now think these are the the things you need.
Love.
Well in order to keep love going, you've got to make sacrifices.
Trust. You need trust in order to love fulfillingly. Really.
TRUST everything they do, at all times. Love will come soon after that.
Talk. About everything. Even if it's about what you did on the cat site today, talk about it. That's just little things. Talk about your relationship and where it stands whenever it feels crappy.
Fight. Yes. Fight. Fight it all out! End with a big swear word to throw them off, and make sure you ment it. After that, give it a few minutes, and everything will be back to normal, plus making up is the best. Especially after swearing at them.
Support. Support EVERYTHING they do. Even if it's the way they cut the lawn, or the big job promotion...Support it all. My guy needs that. I sometimes forget that.
And most of all....Be a freak at times. For real, get out the sexy little dress and dance for him. Do "dancer" type things. lol.
Anyways-Yea...Thats what I've learned SO Far. lol.
I also highly recommend a book called "The five love languages" By Gary Chapman.
It's saved tons of relationships, if you were ever to run into a problem. It's a very good book!
Me and my hubby are best friends, we joke, we share everything.
We like to say we are going to be that old couple on the park bench poking each other with our canes....that's just how we are.
I mean the keys to marriage are the same keys to any successful relationship:
- Trust is important, without it you have nothing.
- Communication is key, make sure to always keep that line of communication open.
- Know that you are going to have your differences (especially important with marriage), cause when you are married you have to remember you are two different people and personalities and try to make it work.
- Affection, very key. Give and take....and it should go both ways. Nothing should be forced.
Another key thing we do for our relationship is have "amnesty" discussions. The biggest thing there is you say exactly what is bothering you (this is the trust and honesty thing coming in) but both parties absolutely swear not to get angry about whatever it is the other party is saying. That way you don't hold back on your feelings and bottle them up. Which can always cause things to fester and get all pussy and yucky...know what I mean.
Also....once apologies are rendered....that's the end of it. What's done is done. There is no need to bring up past indescretions (and I'm not talking about the biggies *cheating, ect*)...basic stuff...like "Well you were the one...blah blah blah"
It takes work to make it work. But it is also a wonderful thing. I am truly blessed to have my husband in my life. Another thing while I'm at it. Once you've found the one...and he treats you right.
Don't let anyone tear you apart just cause they don't like him/her. If you know they are a good person and you know that they make you feel better than you've ever felt....hold onto that and don't let go.
This comes from my own personal experiance as right now my folks would love it if they could tear my relationship apart just cause they hate my husband. Ain't gonna happen.
We've been married 4 years on August 16th. There hasn't been a single night that we haven't talked about anything and everything. He knows me better than anyone else.
Okay I'm done....sorry it's so long winded.
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He's my best friend. We tell each other everything, do everything together. We love each other very much. But we talk to each other about anything that's bothering us and I think that helps. Lots of good communication. Trust is huge and we both trust each other with. And I also agree with Lilleah, fighting every now and then is actually healthy for a relationship. Besides, if you didn't fight, how could you make up
Well I am in a down swing with my hubby right now..but the trick is recognising it as that.
I am very happily married 99% of the time.
He is a family member to me.
He is the one on my side
I love him to the moon and back
The sex is great. I work to keep it interesting!
We talk talk talk talk
I accept its not always all roses but down swings are followed by up swings.
I work on the romance part.
I tell him if he needs to work at our relationship a bit.
I create adult space in the house especially once our daughter is in bed.
We have a bond that would be harder to be apart however much hassle being together can feel sometimes.
We celebrate 10 years next week!
Thanks for the website links...
I am very happily married 99% of the time.
He is a family member to me.
He is the one on my side
I love him to the moon and back
The sex is great. I work to keep it interesting!
We talk talk talk talk
I accept its not always all roses but down swings are followed by up swings.
I work on the romance part.
I tell him if he needs to work at our relationship a bit.
I create adult space in the house especially once our daughter is in bed.
We have a bond that would be harder to be apart however much hassle being together can feel sometimes.
We celebrate 10 years next week!
Thanks for the website links...
We have never ever stopped talking. We also don't let anyone else's opinions about marriage influnce how we make our decisions. I met my dude when I was 21 and was married at 23. We've been together for the last 7 years. I think that we got married a little too young, but we are constantly working on being happy. I think the biggest secret for a marriage is to live as simply as possible. We have never taken a vacation, but we have had many a wonderful picnic in our living room.
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The first thing I didn't know about marriage is that it's work. I had this Cinderella idea in my head, and that's how perfect life would be. Wrong. Life is constantly throwing you curve balls...and with practice, you learn how to play the game right. And if it gets really bad and the sh*t hits the fan you just have to hang onto your husband and duck!
Seriously though, it's constant comprimise... and it's not always easy. It's alot of sacrifice for the other person. And dedication & commitment. One of my favorite things to remind my husband of is "we is you and I, unless your suddenly French?!"
But it's great, to have that sense of family, and that bond of unity. To make a history together. To have someone to love you even when your on the bathroom floor throwing your guts up. To be able to always count on someone.... no matter what, they are on your side, they are your defender, protector, and biggest fan.
I'm not gonna say the magic doesn't wear off after the honey moon, because it can. That's where the work part comes in...you have to work to keep it interesting, you have to "give in" even when your really too tired (or if you'd just rather be watching re-runs of Friends
), you sacrifice.... but it is all worth it in the end.
So we've been living together for 7 years, married for 4 in September. And that's my take on the gig... although I do occasionally feel like whacking him upside the head with a frying pan!
Seriously though, it's constant comprimise... and it's not always easy. It's alot of sacrifice for the other person. And dedication & commitment. One of my favorite things to remind my husband of is "we is you and I, unless your suddenly French?!"
But it's great, to have that sense of family, and that bond of unity. To make a history together. To have someone to love you even when your on the bathroom floor throwing your guts up. To be able to always count on someone.... no matter what, they are on your side, they are your defender, protector, and biggest fan.
I'm not gonna say the magic doesn't wear off after the honey moon, because it can. That's where the work part comes in...you have to work to keep it interesting, you have to "give in" even when your really too tired (or if you'd just rather be watching re-runs of Friends
So we've been living together for 7 years, married for 4 in September. And that's my take on the gig... although I do occasionally feel like whacking him upside the head with a frying pan!
You will just know it in your heart
I will have been married 14 years in September. We also started out as friends. Yes, it is work, and a constant compromise. But if you love the person, then it is worth it.
well said lucky girl
I just knew with all my heart he was the one for me When he proposed 3 months into our relationship. I thought what took you so long?!
Is there someone in your life you are wondering about??
I just knew with all my heart he was the one for me When he proposed 3 months into our relationship. I thought what took you so long?!
Is there someone in your life you are wondering about??
I knew my husband for about 10 years before we dated. We lived together for almost 4 years before we got married. We just got married April 22 of this year.
We were friends for a long time. Now he is my lover and my very best friend. We treat each other better than we treat anyone else. We accept each other's faults in a loving way. We hug a lot. I can't even describe how much I love him and I know he feels the same about me.
Anyways, A good marriage is like a 3 legged table. The legs represent love, trust, and respect. All 3 are necessary or the table will fall over.
We were friends for a long time. Now he is my lover and my very best friend. We treat each other better than we treat anyone else. We accept each other's faults in a loving way. We hug a lot. I can't even describe how much I love him and I know he feels the same about me.
Anyways, A good marriage is like a 3 legged table. The legs represent love, trust, and respect. All 3 are necessary or the table will fall over.
When we first started dating it was like we picking up in the middle of a conversation. He moved into my apartment a month later. I never really "knew" he was the one. He just acted like it.
Smart Marriages is FANTASTIC! I've got Couples Counseling this summer in grad school and my professor, Dr. Vogel, is going to be at the conference presenting. It's a wonderful program and definitely a good source. I wanted to go to the conference so badly but my sister-in-law is due that same weekend so I won't be making it!
I haven't been married very long (got married on May 1, 2006) but so far it's nothing out of the ordinary for me. We lived together over a year before we got married. We didn't do this "okay you can move in now" kind of thing. I just started spending more and more time here. Enough time that I ended up moving in Reba (my cat) as well. It was just NATURAL to us. Like we had done this our whole lives. Hardly any adjustments... except to furniture. He gave me as much closet space as I requested and as much drawer space... we moved my computer over here. It was just good, fast and easy. He proposed 3 months after we had been together and I was very excited! To the world it happened real fast, but to us it was just perfect
I will admit that sometimes I just want to smack the crap out of DH, when he doesn't put water in his dishes or he leaves an empty soda can out 2 steps away from the recycling LOL (I don't get that? take the 2 extra steps!) but really we're happy. He lets me be me. I dont' have to be someone else, he gives me control over my life, if I want to do something he points out to me the pros and cons and lets me make the decision with his opinion and mine in mind and doesn't get angry. I like that.
He's the perfect man, for me.
I wouldn't have it any other way. I love him, and I'm SO GLAD that I married him.
I will admit that sometimes I just want to smack the crap out of DH, when he doesn't put water in his dishes or he leaves an empty soda can out 2 steps away from the recycling LOL (I don't get that? take the 2 extra steps!) but really we're happy. He lets me be me. I dont' have to be someone else, he gives me control over my life, if I want to do something he points out to me the pros and cons and lets me make the decision with his opinion and mine in mind and doesn't get angry. I like that.
