The party: what happened

lookingglass

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So my husband and I had our wedding anniversary party Tuesday night. Now in my previous post I had talked about how my SIL and invited her self and her five kids along to the party that was being held at a local bar. At the end of the day we decided to tell her not to come because we didn't want to manage her five kids. Welllllllllllllllll she showed up with all five kids in tow. Now remember folks this is AFTER we told her not to come. I didn't say anything mean. I just nodded smiled and walked away. The kids ate all of the Ahi Tuna rolls that my husband had ordered. And then wined about being out late.

I have now decided that I am no longer answering my phone when she calls. I had some dental work done yesterday, so I wasn't in the mood. Tonight I'm cooling off. My husband wants to call and yell at her. I've simply decided to give up. If she wants to do something with us now it's going to be on our terms. Not hers. I'm done.
 

catloverin_ks

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Bringing kids to a bar?! What is wrong with her? I would have been just slightly ticked off! I hope you or your DH do say something to her, that was just not right, IMO.
 
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lookingglass

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Her husband is worth a thread in and of himself. I just wanted her to respect my wishes about not bringing her kids. I'm over it now, it was just really upsetting right then. I've just realized that I can't do anything that will ever please her. We could have had the party and Chuckie Cheese and she would have found something to complain about. It's just the way things are.
 

phenomsmom

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Its YOUR party to celebrate YOU now about her. Don't worry about pleasing her. I would tell her what was on my mind if I were you!!
 

luckygirl

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I would definately say something.... although she seems like the type that would make you out to be the bad guy, no matter what she did. My husbands family is like that. Seriously though, who would bring kids to a bar! We tried to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe in Atlantic City with our daughter once and there was a 30 minute wait. So we decided to go grab a drink at the bar in the restaraunt.... she was tired & wanted to sit down so we let her sit at the very end in the corner, and they told us she wasn't allowed to sit there. We had to pull the chair 4 feet away from the bar. Now I thought that was a little ridiculous... it was gonna be hard enough entertaining her for the 30 minutes we had to wait!
 

meldonn

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This sounds like something my SIL would do. Everything we do, she turns it into about her. She has three kids under the age of 6 and they do nothing but scream, run around at resturants and do not have any manners.

Recently they came down to visit us (because her mom came down to spend time with us first). Basically she called my MIL and told her they were coming even through we told her no. Well, they were here for four days and we took them to dinner, I made dinner one night, then they decided to do their own they one night and then my husbands aunt had everyone over for dinner. When my SIL go home she told my MIL what I treated her like dirt and they I was mean to her and her kids. I was so made and wrote this big long email but then I decided that she was never going to grow up no matter what I do and that I was just never going to talk to her again. I do still send Birthday Cards to everyone and send them presents but I don't think I will ever talk to her again.

I know exactly what you are going through and it is hard because you do not want to make your husband be the one in the middle. I hope you will be able to figure out a solution.
 
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lookingglass

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My solution is to stop trying. We aren't going to call her, we aren't going to listen to her drama, and we aren't going to put up with this stuff any more. I feel like I am wasting my time trying to get her to grow up when that is her responsibility. We will go over to her house if she invites us, but other than that we aren't going to do anything else. She hasn't called me since the party, and I don't expect her to call until she would need a babysitter. If she does need a babysitter then she call call a neighborhood girl like everyone else.
 

kittylover4ever

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Your SIL sounds like my SIL..........mine is always doing what she wants, and the heck with everyone else!
 

gailc

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Thank goodness that my DH was the youngest of the bunch so we didn't have problems with any of their kids. I concur with you feelings on the matter.
Did you have a good time in spite of her???
 

pat

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I can't say I'm surprised to hear she did this. I think how you and dh have decided to handle this is best, but be prepared. I would bet big money she'll do whatever she can, even if its to get negative attention...I don't think she'll be able to accept the lack of response, or that you are both moving on with your lives.

Stick to your decision, I think it's the right one.
 
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lookingglass

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I did have quite a good time. My husband and I celebrated four wonderful years of marriage. We renewed our vows in private with a minister from our church. It was very beautiful. I realized why I married that man; he is one of the kindest, gentlest, and most wonderful people that I've ever met. He makes me smile every time I come home.
 

ashleynicole

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Originally Posted by lookingglass

I did have quite a good time. My husband and I celebrated four wonderful years of marriage. We renewed our vows in private with a minister from our church. It was very beautiful. I realized why I married that man; he is one of the kindest, gentlest, and most wonderful people that I've ever met. He makes me smile every time I come home.
I'm very sorry about your SIL, but I have to say that was a very nice thing to read! (What you just said about your husband, not what your SIL did).
 
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