how do i tell her i'm worried?

my best friend has this habbit that when she gets sick she NEVER goes to the doctor. she always "waits" it out until it passes. last year she had a BAD cough for like 4 months. it sounded like whooping cough but she still would not go to the doctors.

now she is sick again and she looks HORRIBLE pasty skin, dark cirles under her eyes. she hasnt eaten much in the last few days and when she eats alot she throws it back up. this has been going on for about a week now and she STILL wont go to the doctors.

she doesnt have anything against them she just thinks every desiese she gets will go away if she waits it out. i am afriad that she will get really sick one day and wait until it is too late. how do i tell her that she NEEDS to go to the doctors without sounding too nosy? this girl is my best friend in the whole world and i dont know what i would do if anything happened to her.

I would explain to her that the sickness can go away faster if she goes to the doctor....b/c the doctor and pin point what she has and give her medicine for it.

Be nosy, be bossy, owell...she will get over it. Start with "look I love you, and I don't want you to get worse...please go" then offer to go with her. Maybe she has a fear of them... some people do. But alot of things are only curable with anti-biotics. Period. She needs some tough love...and you have to be the one to give it to her. PS....what about her parents? Can you secretly talk to them? Mine would be all over me if I kept not going to the dr.s...

yeah i was talking to her on AIM and she said that it might just be the flu and she's ganna wat it out and she'll be fine.... JUST the flu? there is no JUST the flu! it can get pretty bad and i told her that and she says that she knows i care but to stop worrying about her because as long as she drinks fluids and eats she'll be fine... SHE"S NOT EATING ANYTHING!!!! i think she thinks i'm stupid or something...

That sounds like she really really needs to be at a doctor - and pretty soon. I would be as forward with it as possible and tell her how worried you are. Perhaps she would go if she understood how worried you are? Waiting it out can do more damage than harm. All the best girlie.

Originally Posted by LuckyGirl

Be nosy, be bossy, owell...she will get over it. Start with "look I love you, and I don't want you to get worse...please go" then offer to go with her. Maybe she has a fear of them... some people do. But alot of things are only curable with anti-biotics. Period. She needs some tough love...and you have to be the one to give it to her. PS....what about her parents? Can you secretly talk to them? Mine would be all over me if I kept not going to the dr.s...

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to be honest... and i hate to say this.. i dont think her mom cares... her mom is really invlolved with herself. she's in college and dating and writing her books... she barley has time for her. i told her what you said and i told her to talk to her mom and to go to the doctors TOMORROW if she still feels bad. i didnt tell her this but if her mom doesnt take her and she still feels bad i think i'm going to tell my mom to do something and she will either give them both a lecture or take he herself. my mom is like yous. lol.

Originally Posted by LuckyGirl

Be nosy, be bossy, owell...she will get over it. Start with "look I love you, and I don't want you to get worse...please go" then offer to go with her. Maybe she has a fear of them... some people do. But alot of things are only curable with anti-biotics. Period. She needs some tough love...and you have to be the one to give it to her. PS....what about her parents? Can you secretly talk to them? Mine would be all over me if I kept not going to the dr.s...

Click to expand...

I agree with Heather.....some of you know of my terrible fear of doctors......it's quite a phobia I have, and until 2 years ago, I never went to them. Then I started forcing myself. Jerry went with me on the first few, and now I can go on my own, but I still get all nervous,e tc.

Actually I'm sorta like your friend, I won't go to the doctor unless I HAVE too, as in the illness will just not go away, that rarely happens though. I susbscribe to the school of belief that docs prescribe to much medicine and we are building resistance to it so that when we really need it, it won't work. And she does have a point about the flu- the doctor really can't give her anything to help it, the flu just has to run its course, granted she does have to eat and drink lots of fluids because it is easy to get dehydrated and then you'll be in the emergency room and colds are caused by viruses so anti-biotics don't help that, you just have to be careful it doesn't develop into bronchitis or pneumonia.... maybe you should start by talking to your friend about just taking better care of herself, i.e. maybe take vitamins and eating better and getting lots of rest? You have every right to be concerned of course, maybe another reason she won't go to the doctor is she doesn't have insurance? even regular doctor visits can be expensive, this all just IMO....

i am pretty much the same way katiemae but i know my limit. trust me... she needs a doctor... if its a cold then yeah i'll wait it out but the flu can kill. maybe it only kills old people and little kid but i dont want to take the chance.

I think that when people have something seriously wrong with them, they know. And will do something when they feel at thier worst. Maybe she's just sick, and doesnt want to go to the doctor because SHE thinks it's not bad.

You might think it's bad enough for a doctor, but if she's thinking it's ok not to go, then she's probably ok.

That's just me though. I just think that people KNOW when it's time to go.

Maybe she just have a problem with drugs. Most drugs inhibit some kind of biochemical receptor. I am somewhat concerned with a lot of drugs too and I try to avoid them as much as possible.

Some people have an inherent fear of doctors based on some misdiagnosis years ago. I think it is more common than people believe to be so.

Maybe she doesn't have health insurance.

Does she have a problem with medicine in general or does she just have a problem with conventional medicine? She could still go to holistic doctors, for example, even if she doesn't like conventional docotors.

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