Cheaters part 1 and 2!!

I am so sorry.
Thats must be so hard and sad and painful.
Its what we all dread.
My heart goes out to you.
Look after yourself. Love yourself. treat yourself and give yourself time to grieve.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. A girl I work with is going through a similar thing and she is gradually thinking about how to rebuild her life and live as one person again, instead of half of 2.
You will get there, it takes time and hard work but you will be fine in the end. You were lucky you were not married to him and there are no children involved.

I feel your pain. That is a really sucky situation. But I would think that your friends would be the bigger person and try to be there for you, whether they liked him or not.... maybe try to reach out to whom ever you are closest too, explain that you were wrong, and you really need a shoulder to cry on. When I was younger, and broken hearted because I had just lost what I though was the best thing that ever happened to me, my mom always said "sweetie, you have to kiss a TON of frogs, before you find your prince" so true.... and I do believe that everything happens for a reason, whether it hurts or not!

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how bad you're hurting now, and that it feels like nothing will ever be right again. But, hard as it is to believe, it'll be even better.

I was engaged to a guy I had been with for over 3 years when I found out he was cheating on me. Apparently, I was the only one who hadn't known that for years. I thought I'd never find someone like him again.

And I was right. I found someone SO much better. I ended up meeting my husband...a guy who's trustworthy and faithful and makes me feel great about myself. I actually thank God for my experience with my former fiancee now. As hard as it was to go through at the time, if it hadn't happened, I'd never have met Pat. I'm not a terribly religious person, but I really, truly believe that when God closes a door He opens a window.

I know this isn't what you want to hear right now but if he would cheat on you in the first place ehe wasn't worth your time. I know it really hurts to be cheated on, been there done that, but trust me Mr.Right will come to you when the time is right!!

misspremier.. I'm going through the 26 yr old thing too. At 24 it was no biggie but passing 25 was scary! I'm worried that I'll never get married and even if I do I'll certainly have no children because it'll take me at LEAST a year or two to find a man, then at least a year of dating before a proposal, and then at least a year of engagement for the wedding.. So we're looking at an absolute minimum of 4-5 years, making me over 30, and that's considering that I don't date a LOSER or the relationship works out or whatever, I mean I've had a string of awful relationships in my past so I don't see why it would stop now. I wanted to have a family by 26 but no it's just me and my cat, and I'm learning to accept that slowly, although I still get depressed. I can't stand kids though so I don't know what I'm depressed about. I have had one officially failed engagement at 22 and an engagement going down the tubes currently, and I'm thinking I might as well give up.. But, probably not

Originally Posted by annabelle33

at least a year of engagement for the wedding..

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I was personally engaged exactly one year before the wedding, but I have never heard this rule before. I personally think it is not necessary. I think if you are engaged to the right person, you can be married ASAP.

Why do you have to get engaged for a year before the wedding? When we were planning the wedding (2 months before the wedding) every single day we spent $...............It seemed like every single day we found out something we needed to buy that we had never heard of before.

Originally Posted by shengmei

I was personally engaged exactly one year before the wedding, but I have never heard this rule before. I personally think it is not necessary. I think if you are engaged to the right person, you can be married ASAP.

Why do you have to get engaged for a year before the wedding? When we were planning the wedding (2 months before the wedding) every single day we spent $...............It seemed like every single day we found out something we needed to buy that we had never heard of before.

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I think a year is usually the "generic' period of time to plan a wedding, it took me and my mom a little over a year to plan mine, my ex and I were engaged a little over a year and a half, also what's the point of being engaged if its only for a short period of time? may as well just straight get married if the engagment is going to be so short.

And to Misspremier, i echo what everyone else has said, much better to find out now than later after children and finances are involved what a louse he is... 26 is still young, many women are starting families later and later in life so don't worry, you'll find someone who will respect and cherish you

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

what's the point of being engaged if its only for a short period of time? may as well just straight get married if the engagment is going to be so short.

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I must have a different point of view because I am Asian, so please bear with me.

What is the meaning of engagement in the U.S.? I thought engagement is the intention to be married as soon as financially possible. What do you do during engagement beside planning the wedding?

For the longest time hubby was worried about not being able to afford a wedding because we both have hundreds of relatives. Our wedding was supposed to be in November 2008. One day we just went "the heck with that". We got married soon after.

We had a 2 year engagement. Planning a wedding is a big job. And most of the places in Philly book fast and far in advance. You need at least a year to reserve any kind of place for a reception, even churches book more than a year in advance. We paid for our own wedding, and it ran between $20-$25 thousand dollars. (yikes, I know) So it took us that long to save up. Also, you are planning your new life together, so alot of people look to buy a house, or at least get into an apt for after the wedding, if they aren't already living together....

Ladies, this thread is about cheating arses and supporting Misspremier

OOPS. Sorry.

What I was trying to say (before all this wedding talk) is that it really doesn't take that long to get married if you were to find the right person.

When you find the right person, you would know right away he is the right person. You could be married within 6 months by Justice of Peace, then you don't even have to pay for the wedding........You could start a new life together, with a new house paid by the money saved for the wedding.

I am fairly certain you would marry before 30. Don't worry. Everything would be alright.

Don't worry hun,

It's scary being 26 and the thought of "not settling down soon" lurking in the air. I was that way too. I was sick of meanless relationships too. Be glad he did this to you BEFORE you two were married. Imagine if you had children as well...

Find a dart board, post his picture on it (if you can't find one of him alone, make him alone) and just start throwing darts. I always find it great stress relief during a breakup.
Kickboxing is a great way relief some hurt too. Heck, when I use to do that, I would come out all sweaty and half the guys I would run into would smile and say hello. That made me feel good too!

Been there, done that...and here I am at 26 occasionally having those same thoughts as you. But life has something in store for me and I just have to wait and see what comes around the next corner. On days where I am feeling old and alone, i go out for a martini with some friends, a good comedy and then go home and cuddle my kitties and ask them what they think of me....and the purr's say it all!

I think as time goes on, and you can see things without the heartbreak and emotions you have right now, you will see the positives to this point in your life. At least he didn't wait till you were married with kids to run out on you, and you know what he did to you with this woman, he'll do to her in a few years (if that). Never think his immature, insensitive behaviour is a reflection on you, or anything that you've done.

hugs

(sorry for rambling! )

Originally Posted by Renny

and you know what he did to you with this woman, he'll do to her in a few years (if that).

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You know what they say "Once a cheater, always a cheater".

A man has to make a conscious decision to never cheat in order to resist temptation for 40, 50, 60 years.......That is not a easy decision to make. Men who had made that definite decision are few and far in between, that's why you have to just keep looking.

I'm very sorry that you're going through such pain right now, but as others have said, it luckily happened before you were married with children. We never know what life will hold. Twenty-six might sound quite "old" to you now, but we'll be celebrating our 26th anniversary in just 12 days. A previous relationship ended much like yours did, and I felt that at 22, I'd never find "Mr. Right". Nine months later I was married to my husband. There's no "time limit" on finding the right partner.
Talk to your friends. Tell them how you feel, and that you need their emotional support right now.

Originally Posted by jcat

A previous relationship ended much like yours did, and I felt that at 22, I'd never find "Mr. Right". Nine months later I was married to my husband.

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I felt really old at age 19 . I was worried that I was a lesbian because no guy had asked me out. Then a month before I turned 19 I met hubby and I am now happily married.

When you meet the right guy, it doesn't take very long to just know he is right for you.

Originally Posted by shengmei

I felt really old at age 19

. I was worried that I was a lesbian because no guy had asked me out.

Then a month before I turned 19 I met hubby and I am now happily married.

When you meet the right guy, it doesn't take very long to just know he is right for you.

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Amen to that girlie. I never thought I'd meet a man that would love both me and my daughter....and here I sit happily married going on 4 years now.

Originally Posted by shengmei

I felt really old at age 19

. I was worried that I was a lesbian because no guy had asked me out.

Then a month before I turned 19 I met hubby and I am now happily married.

When you meet the right guy, it doesn't take very long to just know he is right for you.

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Which gets back to engagements and planning weddings. We met in early October, got engaged in late March, and married (civil and church ceremonies) in June. And managed to plan two receptions (one in Germany, and one in the U.S.).
A friend has been widowed for 15 years. She started dating 2 or 3 years after her husband's death, and despaired about finding another "Mr. Right". Well, she found him 2 years ago (we were just talking about it on Sunday).

Originally Posted by jcat

Which gets back to engagements and planning weddings. We met in early October, got engaged in late March, and married (civil and church ceremonies) in June. And managed to plan two receptions (one in Germany, and one in the U.S.).

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Which gets back to my original point that people shouldn't have perconceived notions about how long to date, how long to stay engaged....etc. etc.

Having so many rules would only stress people out and make them stay in bad relationships longer than usual because they are concerned they don't have the time for another serious relationship.

We personally did everything by the book: dated for three years and engaged for one. However, I always thought we should had been married two years ago. That would have solved a lot of our problems.