Not sleeping through the night

goosehazel · Jun 14, 2006

We were doing so well. Brandon was sleeping from 7-5 almost every night and now he seems to want to get up around 3 and eat and go back to bed and then get up around 6:30. How do I break him of this 3 a.m. feeding?! I've tried a pacifier instead but he won't even take it. We know he can go all night without needing to eat. Does anyone have any advice? Any would be greatly appreciated. I'm getting exhausted.

kittylover4ever · Jun 14, 2006

Wish I could help Laura.......but with no kids, = no experience with that.......

When Jerry can't sleep, I give him a beer! I wouldn't suggest that with Brandon...........

annasmom · Jun 14, 2006

First of all, how old is he? Secondly, does he co-sleep or sleep in a crib? I'm a big fan of co-sleeping and my eldest slept with us until she was 18 months old. We planned on doing the same with my youngest, but at about 4 months, she was still waking up every 4 hours and wouldn't really go back to sleep with (even after eating) after 3:30. We moved her into a crib and she immediately started sleeping from 6:15pm-6:30am with no feeds in between. She's 15 months now, and still has the same schedule.

If he's older than 6 months, I would let him cry for 5 or 10 minutes to see if he will settle himself back down.

goosehazel · Jun 14, 2006

He's 7 months. He sleeps in a crib, has since we brought him home. We've tried to let him cry. A half hour later, he's still crying.

catloverin_ks · Jun 14, 2006

Aww hun! I know exactly how you feel!! My daughter just recently started sleeping thru the night, and shes 2!! She would do the same thing though, she would sleep ALL night for like a month straight and then next thing ya know, she was up 5 times in the night. How old is he? I know that letting him cry will not hurt him

It will honestly hurt you, more than him. I am sending you some(((GOOD LUCK))) vibes into getting him back into a routine.

Keep your chin up!!

trouts mom · Jun 14, 2006

Hmm, this thread could get interesting with all the varying opinions.

Babies should not be left to cry longer than a few minutes.

Goosehazel, I would highly recommend you buy "The Baby Whisperer" book. My sister had all sorts of problems with my niece when she was smaller, she is 1 now, and after my sister read that book, it was like a godsend as far as how to deal with and handle your baby. My neice Shanti used to wake up at night, and cry, and my sister was almost going nuts. This book is all about getting your baby into a routine, and now my niece sleeps from like 7:30pm to 6am or so...NO FAIL.

My sister swears on this book.

annasmom · Jun 14, 2006

Are you nursing or bottle feeding? If nursing, send your husband in to soothe him. When my girls were little, if mommy was in the room they expected the boobies to come out! It might not be the fact that he's hungry , he just wants to be soothed and mommy's soothe best with the breast.

meowsas · Jun 14, 2006

Ah but he wants the milk bar to be open!!!
I used to cut the milk each day. so if he takes 90z next night at 3am offer 6oz. next night 30z. next night if he wakes water 2oz
after that you know he doesn't need it in your heart so I would go for a few nights and either offer the 2oz water. they often get cross as its the milk they want. or just settle him back down but with minimum reward. like ok insert name. its nighttime back to sleep. lay onto back and leave the room. maybe kick start a distraction like a heartbeat bear that kicks in when he cries or a little lightshow.
If it was getting mad and nothing was working I would go back a stage to 3oz milk but never more or the habit is back and wean off gain after that.
you can tell the type of crying. the type that wails for abit then stops to listen...he is faking! when it is this type crying, I feel controlled crying has its place. leave for 10 mins, go resettle. leave for 30 mins only returning if he isn't showing signs of fake crying or calming. leave for 40 mins. leave for 50 mins. most babies are alsleep by now!
Or the type that is really wailing and won't carm. if you are sure he isn't ill or in need. go in lay him down and say firmly its night night time. leaving distraction.
I had this with my baby and any illness where I had relented and let her have a bottle due to the illness had to be weaned off again. my hubby used to joke do it twice and its a habit!
Remeber now is the time to get the sleep sorted..before he can climb out of the cot and come to get you!!!

goosehazel · Jun 14, 2006

Thanks for all the advice everyone. He is nursing so he does expect something when I come in the room. He is fake crying. He will stop for a little while and wait to see what we'll do. He's such a little stinker. I would love to try the cutting the milk trick except that he won't take a bottle. He likes it right from the tap

I will have to give the book a try then. I open to anything.

meowsas · Jun 14, 2006

They are so wise thats the problem.
Try leaving a 'smelly' nice smelly of course breast pad in the cot with him as a comfort.
would timing the breast feeding work? or offering water? or expressed breast milk?
goodluck x

annasmom · Jun 14, 2006

Neither of mine would take a bottle either, so I feel your pain. I was so jealous of the moms that could actually leave their baby for more than two hours! They both started using sippy cups at 9 months, so I could get some juice into them and get a break.

huggles · Jun 14, 2006

awwwww you poor thing. I also have heard amazing things about the 'baby whisperer' book and people that swear by it.

What time does he have his last feed? How long has this been happening for? Could there be other issues?

You could try giving him a dreamfeed at say 10pm and see if that helps him sleep through from then. They say that it only takes 3-4 days of the same pattern for it to become a habit so trying to change the pattern/habit means a few days of hard sleepless nights.

Another suggestion is you could also go in 10 minutes before he is 'due' to wake up at 3am and semi wake him. This 'interferes' with his sleep pattern and inturn often makes them 'restart' the sleep pattern. This worked very successfully for us when Jasmine was about 5 months. It meant I would have to set the alarm to wake myself up but I did it for about 5 days and she eventually just slept through. I can give you more advise on this if its something you would be interested in.

I do like the water idea in a sipper cup.

When he does wake up at 3am and you say you let him cry but he cries for 30 minutes. Do you stay in the room with him? Often its a good idea to actually stay in the room with your hand on their chest and constantly reassure them and therefore calming them down. I agree that it is unlikely that he is hungry but its just a habit now that he wants to feed.

hmmmm I am struggling for other advise here. Will have a think and see what else I can come up with

I am thankful that my daughter sleeps from 6.30-6.30 pretty much every night and has done so from a young age but I am on another baby forum in Australia and have read alot of advise from other mothers going through similar things to you.

goosehazel · Jun 14, 2006

Originally Posted by huggles

awwwww you poor thing. I also have heard amazing things about the 'baby whisperer' book and people that swear by it.

What time does he have his last feed? How long has this been happening for? Could there be other issues?

You could try giving him a dreamfeed at say 10pm and see if that helps him sleep through from then. They say that it only takes 3-4 days of the same pattern for it to become a habit so trying to change the pattern/habit means a few days of hard sleepless nights.

Another suggestion is you could also go in 10 minutes before he is 'due' to wake up at 3am and semi wake him. This 'interferes' with his sleep pattern and inturn often makes them 'restart' the sleep pattern. This worked very successfully for us when Jasmine was about 5 months. It meant I would have to set the alarm to wake myself up but I did it for about 5 days and she eventually just slept through. I can give you more advise on this if its something you would be interested in.

I do like the water idea in a sipper cup.

When he does wake up at 3am and you say you let him cry but he cries for 30 minutes. Do you stay in the room with him? Often its a good idea to actually stay in the room with your hand on their chest and constantly reassure them and therefore calming them down. I agree that it is unlikely that he is hungry but its just a habit now that he wants to feed.

hmmmm I am struggling for other advise here. Will have a think and see what else I can come up with

I am thankful that my daughter sleeps from 6.30-6.30 pretty much every night and has done so from a young age but I am on another baby forum in Australia and have read alot of advise from other mothers going through similar things to you.

That is great advice. I do stay in the room with him, sometimes even rocking him. He'll calm a little when I do that but when he's had enough rocking he just starts all over again. We have started giving him a sippy cup and letting him play with it and I think he knows which end goes in his mouth

Every time he accidently sucks on it he gets a shocked look on his face, it's kinda cute. Thank you so much for all of your help, I would like to know more about waking him right before he wakes up at 3.

Thanks also for the nursing pad tip Meowsas, I will try that too

Annasmom, we should've started a support group

dixie_darlin · Jun 14, 2006

Not sure where you're at but if you have a Wal-Mart, Kmart or Target near you, you might want to try the "Mommy Bear". It has the heartbeat of a mother's. Alot of times all it is he just wants to hear your hearbeat. My youngest son was also nursed and when he started doing the same thing at the same age I used the "Mommy Bear" and it worked EVERY time! They are around $15-$20 and WELL worth it. You can adjust it to how slow or fast you want the heart to beat. I know the money spent is well worth a good nights sleep!

EDIT: Sorry Meowsas, didn't see you post the same idea *blush*

annasmom · Jun 14, 2006

Originally Posted by goosehazel

Annasmom, we should've started a support group

No kidding. I was either pregnant or nursing from December 2002 until March 2006. I thought I was going to lose my mind!!!

goosehazel · Jun 14, 2006

Originally Posted by AnnasMom

No kidding. I was either pregnant or nursing from December 2002 until March 2006. I thought I was going to lose my mind!!!

You are a stronger woman than I

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

Not sure where you're at but if you have a Wal-Mart, Kmart or Target near you, you might want to try the "Mommy Bear".

We have one and we use it every night when we put him to bed. He seems to like it, but I've tried it in the middle of the night with not so much luck

beckiboo · Jun 14, 2006

I tried letting my kids cry, but I couldn't bear it! LOL! One trick I used was to have Mommy there...but not there. The idea is to make them feel reassured, but not dependent on you. To encourage them to have the skill of self soothing.

I did this by talking gently as I stepped out of the room, leaving the door open. Then I would go back in a few minutes later, as if I had never left, with a little pat on the back. (If baby is crying, try to wait for a pause, so you go in when he isn't crying, if possible.) I actually tried to use sound and touch over sight...so try to talk or sing for a bit, and a few pats, without being seen. I have even been known to sit on the floor by the bed, patting a baby, telling them "Mommy is right here" as I sat out of sight.

The other idea to have Daddy go in, since by 3 am if he wakes up AND sees Mommy, of course he wants a sip.

Best of luck to you. And remember, all the pointers and ideas in the world may not work with your specific baby. Do your best, and remember that this too shall pass. In time, with your encouragement, he WILL sleep through the night again.

goosehazel · Jun 14, 2006

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

Best of luck to you. And remember, all the pointers and ideas in the world may not work with your specific baby. Do your best, and remember that this too shall pass. In time, with your encouragement, he WILL sleep through the night again.

Yes, but will I still have my sanity

Thank you for the tip about not being seen, I'll have to give that a try tonight. I'll let ya know how it goes

beckiboo · Jun 14, 2006

Originally Posted by goosehazel

Yes, but will I still have my sanity

Thank you for the tip about not being seen, I'll have to give that a try tonight. I'll let ya know how it goes

Don't spoil him, but remember that when you are 90, you would give your right arm to be awakened at 3 am by a baby who thinks you are the center of his universe!

Sanity, schmanity! I work at a mental health clinic, if you go totally bonkers, just give me a call!

katl8e · Jun 14, 2006

I found that a warm bath, at bedtime, got my boys to sleep through the night.

Not sleeping through the night

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