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my dad just put me in tears

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Okay back two years ago I feel and broke my ankle and at the time I was still with my ex-husband, he left because I couldn't work after I broke my ankle. Well He hid my crutches to be cruel and within two days after I broke my ankle I had to start hobbling on my foot and my dad got mad because to save my life when I had crutches I couldn't get the hang of them. I don't know why I couldn't I just couldn't well my ex thought it was cute to readjust them for someone who is 5'7" and I am 5'4". Well two weeks after I broke my ankle my ex left and my dad got mad because the doctor wouldn't let me go back to work and remember I am a certified nurse's aide. I am on my feet all night. Well I now have arthritis in my ankle and it has progressively gotten worse my doctor believes its because I had to walk on it so early and it didn't heal right. I couldn't even get pain meds because I didn't have money and my ex wouldn't buy them for me because he wanted to go fishing instead. Well today my ankle was a little bit swollen and it hurts I am limping on it. And I told my dad about it and he said well Gail you know you are getting too heavy thats why your ankle hurts. And then just sat there. When I would have preferred his normal of telling me he didn't want to talk and to shut up. It doesn't matter what its about I go to talk to him and he shuts me up every single time. Well I was sitting there holding back tears and he just swelled up and got mad. And I don't know how to take the way he talks to me. Sorry for the long post I just needed to get this out.
post #2 of 17
Oh hun, that's awful. Just want to give you a big hug.
post #3 of 17
Oh no hon!, I'm sorry your dad said that (sounds a bit harsh to me!) sending you lots of cyber hugs
post #4 of 17
Oh hun-that is just awful!! Why in the world does your dad speak to you like that?? Many HUGS sent to you!! ((HUGS))
post #5 of 17
I can't work this summer because I have to do research. I can't believe how many people tell me to quit whining about how little money I have and get a job instead. My research is more important than anything else right now. If the research is disrupted (for any reason) it would mean the end of my academic career.

So I think I might be able to feel your pain. Sometimes people say the most cruel things when a person can't work. Deep in my heart I have nothing but dispise for them.

I can't believe your ex was like that. Good job for getting away from him. If my hubby ever did something like that to me I would make him French-kiss the ground. I feel very grateful that hubby took two jobs (in addition to his college French classes) to support my grad school career.

All I can say is what a jerk!!!

I think you should visit some health food stores. Most health food stores offer plenty of samples of their nutritional supplements. (which I always take too many. LOL) My joints ache when it rains and I like to take a cocktail of samples of different supplements. They always make my joints feel much better.
post #6 of 17
Gail, I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt............... I have a weight problem too and not too many people can hurt me about it, because I accept it, but if my dad said that, it would have hurt........try not to let it get to you.....
post #7 of 17
Lots of hugs for you, Gail I'm sorry that your dad is so insensitive.
post #8 of 17
I am so sorry. you poor thing not having proper rest and meds for your pain while you were healing.
I too struggle with my weight and I don't know about you but I blame lots onto it like when I was pregnant my hips hurt it wasn't till a slim friend had the same thing I thought oh maybe it isn't my own fault ...
Don't we all beat ourselves up enough without someone taking a go at us. especially your Dad.
We all know who we are and sadly how much we weigh. only you know the pain you are in.
I am so sorry.
post #9 of 17
My parents were worried I wouldn't be able to marry because of my weight. I was 130 pounds and 5' 6'' ...........Chinese people have much more stringent rules in regardance to weight.

Well, they shouldn't have bothered me about my weight so much......I eventually married a white dude.

That just goes to say sometimes parents have the most ridiculous standards about weight.
post #10 of 17
to you-my mom has done it to me-I lost alot of weight when I got divorced & bought all new clothes-her comment was keep the old ones you'll just put it on again- I did put some on but who cares-I'm happy-I ignore her now when she makes comments-It hurts but I don't let her see it any longer-
post #11 of 17
I'm sorry! That was totally uncalled for from your dad.
post #12 of 17
Seems awful for your own dad to say that to you..what the heck is his problem anyway? He is supposed to make you feel special.
post #13 of 17
Thread Starter 
I don't know what his problem is, when I attempt to talk to him about the way he treats me he wavs his arm at me and says well I don't want to talk about that stupid stuff. And what hurts more is I got pregnant after my divorce and he said I figured you would do that. Well when I was a month and a half along I miscarried and I was devasted and he said well good you don't have that to worry about. And when my sister got pregnant a year later he was tickled to death he spends every moment he can with my sister. And if you have seen pictures of my sis she is tall, skinny, and pretty and he tells me all the time why couldn't you have looked like your sister. And he wants her to go to college even though she dropped out of high school in the tenth grade but he tells me its a waste of time with someone as dumb as me. But he expects me to build him a house. And doesn't want to help me get a drivers liscences. I just can't figure him out. My sister went to jail for 6 months for meth and he spent every moment getting her out. And when I was 19 I accidently wrote a bad check and he said well if you go to jail its not my problem.
post #14 of 17
Time to get out of that negative loop isn't it.
He knows how to be nice so it isn't that. he is bullying you, picking on you. treating you as he would his wife in a bad marriage.
Where is your mum?
It sounds like you live with him?
post #15 of 17
..But maybe a counselor could give you some advise on dealing with these men in your life who don't seem to talk very nicely to you....good luck, and I'm sorry for your pain...
post #16 of 17
Thread Starter 
My mother walked out when I was two and didn't really try for custody. Yes I do live with him for right now but I have a friend who is trying to help me get my drivers liscences so I can get a better job and move out my dad cusses me because I don't have them but he won't help me get them. And the exhusband is no longer in my life. I don't quite understand my dad's actions I just know it is putting a huge strain on my emotional health. And he doesn't seem to either care or to notice. I don't know which of the two it is. I just know he used to not be so bad but the older I get the worse it gets. If I skip eating all day and then sit down to a sandwich he cusses me and says I shouldn't eat so much.
post #17 of 17
He is abusing you.
Have you thought about joining a Womens resque organisation group?
They give you somewhere to stay, and even help you find a job.
I know this is going to be very hard, but i would say to distance your self away from your father and move onto YOUR LIFE!
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