Teenagers and the Gynocologist (sorry guys!)

Just polling mom's out there or any girl who remembers.
What age is a good age to start bringing your teen to the Gynocologist? This is something that hasn't really crossed my mind cause I'm in denial still that I even have a teenager . Seems like only yesterday she was 2.
Anyways, I can't for the life of me remember what age I was and I want to make sure obviously that she is a healthy teen.
Also, any advice when the time comes on how to explain that to a child who has alway been told that those are your "private parts" what's going to happen when they go?
My daughter is going to be 15 in a few months (and I have a 12 1/2 year old too). Both have their periods already. They got them one month apart from each other - so the 12 year old is a bit speedy on the development thing. In fact she's more developed than her sister.
I just want to do what's right.
I'm in the process of switching Pediatricians cause mine was terrible! So I haven't seen the new one yet and don't want to call to ask before we've even met him. Just seems kinda - wierd to me to do that.
Thanks guys!

In my opinion 15 or 16 is the right age. When you go the first time your Dr. should tell you that she should come back in a year or when she is 18. I was on BC at 16 so I had to go every year in order to get the BC.

Usually the suggestions that I have heard are at the age of 18 (or 16--I've heard both equally) or when they become sexually active-- whichever comes first. I'm in nursing school and our instructors tell us 16 or sexually active.

Jo

I actually didn't start going until right before my wedding....I know it was a little late but I was 20 when I went....

I don't have any kids, but have also heard 16 years of age or when they become sexually active.

As far as explaining to them what will happen... At 16, I am fairly sure the discussion has come up among her and her girl friends. I would approach it by asking her if she knows anything about the exams women get to keep themselves healthy. Try to openly discuss what she all ready knows so that you have an opportunity to correct any misinformation she has, as well as add in any important information she may be missing. I am sure she is going to be extremely uncomfortable about going, as a matter of fact I worried myself sick. It might be nice to take her in to see a female gyn is possible. I know that was one of my main concerns back then

Originally Posted by pipersjo

Usually the suggestions that I have heard are at the age of 18 (or 16--I've heard both equally) or when they become sexually active-- whichever comes first. I'm in nursing school and our instructors tell us 16 or sexually active.

Jo

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I heard the same, my mum took us when we were about 15-16

I was 19 when I first went. It was a very painful experience (actually it still is, but I have issues anyway). I would not recommend going unless they are sexually active or can use tampons without a problem. Also, at some point in school you have a health class that goes over what happens in a gynecology exam. I was not emotionally ready to go until I told myself I was ready to go. I would have been very angry with my mom if she made me go before that emotional readiness part. But if they are sexually active then you don't have much of a choice as BC is really important.

Awww, my mom always said that same thing about "private parts". I didn't start going until I became "active". Unless you have reason to think she needs checked out now, It probaly wouldn't be bad to put off the "violation" until she's a bit older. On my first visit,...-shudders- it freaked me out and I was an 18yr old adult.

I can tell you that I didn't go until I was 16, pregnant, and miscarrying. It was way too late, obviously.

I know your daughter will always be your little girl, but at 15 she's definitely aware of her body down there, and if she isn't (active) I'm sure she has friends who are sexually active. (I know you really don't want to hear that, but trust me it's better than hearing "Mom, I'm pregnant" like I did to my mother...) A good friend of mine found out that her 13 - yes 13 - year old daughter was having sex with her boyfriend (also 13) when she was checking up on her on the internet (a MySpace type place). Now that's scary!

Originally Posted by valanhb

I can tell you that I didn't go until I was 16, pregnant, and miscarrying. It was way too late, obviously.

I know your daughter will always be your little girl, but at 15 she's definitely aware of her body down there, and if she isn't (active) I'm sure she has friends who are sexually active. (I know you really don't want to hear that, but trust me it's better than hearing "Mom, I'm pregnant" like I did to my mother...) A good friend of mine found out that her 13 - yes 13 - year old daughter was having sex with her boyfriend (also 13) when she was checking up on her on the internet (a MySpace type place). Now that's scary!

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GEEZ! I think at 13 I may have still been playing with my barbies...gosh.

What are you going for?
I personally wouldn't go unless there is a problem??
Do you mean for a smear test? surely once sexually active for at least a year.
Seems a shame for a girl to have to have the medical exam part before the fun sex part. apart from smear surely if periods all ok and no discomfort then all is ok?
Please educate me if I am missing the point ( I have a 7 yr old so my time will come)
Good news on the smear vaccine! how wonderful for our daughters.

I'd say 16, or as soon as they become sexually active. Now a days, it's getting earlier... but that way you can even show them pics in the office of STD's and stuff, so they will protect themselves when the time comes. Also, I thought I'd mention... I had cervical cancer at 19. That's young, but my mom had it at 20. Had I never gone to the dr, I'd have been in serious trouble. Even catching it early, they had to remove part of my cervix... and now at 28yrs old I'm having trouble getting pregnant. Something about finding their way to the egg with so much scar tissue.

If explaining it to your daughter is hard for you (I'm sure it is!), do you have someone else that maybe could do it either for you or with you, that's family, and maybe older... like a responsible 20 year old cousin? I had to explain it to my little sister when she was 16, I was 19. She didn't want to go and threw a fit. So I had to tt her, with cancer running in our family she had to go... she went, but she wasn't happy about it.

I would explain it very matter of factly, using grown up terms...cause after all, she's almost a grown up. Let her know that it's going to be uncomfortable. Even after going for 20yrs it's uncomfortable. They're will be pressure, where they will touch her and why they need to, cysts, pollups, lumps etc. Explain the swabs and tests they do and why....for cancer, which can occur earlier and earlier... etc. It's important that she gets to know the dr. When it does come time for her to be sexually active (I know you wish is was when she was 34 years old. ) at least she will have someone to turn to other than you for medical help/advice/birth control in case she doesn't feel comfortable talking to good old mom about it. Hope this helps you!

I will have to agree with Heidi. make sure you talk to you daughter and let her know why you need to take her to the doctor soon. Also make it very clear that if and when she decides to become active that she let you know so that she can take BC so she doesn't wind up with a kid when she isn't ready.

BTW, if you do take her, you may want to consider getting a female doc and have a "meet and greet" before the actual exam. Just so she can be a little more relaxed.

Originally Posted by Alli-Kat

BTW, if you do take her, you may want to consider getting a female doc and have a "meet and greet" before the actual exam. Just so she can be a little more relaxed.

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Brilliant idea Alli-Kat!!!! And if she wants you to stay in the room with her great. But I'd let that be her decision...ask her, she may want you to hold her hand, or help ask ?'s cause she's too shy. But then, she may feel more uncomfortable with mom watching.... whatever makes your daughter feel best would be the best choice.

Now that the HPV (cervical cancer) vaccine has been approved, the lives of our daughters will be much easier! (My ob/gyn said that vaccinated girls will only have to have paps every 5 years.) For some of us its too late, and we are dealing with cervical dysplasia, cancer, etc. It is my understanding that the vaccine will be issued at 13 years (once girls are sexually active and contract HPV, its too late.) You might ask whomever you want to take your daughter to when the vaccine will be available widely and get it all taken care of at once!

Wow I got mad at my mom for just coming into a regular doctor visit with me (at 16). She made me feel like such a little kid. I could never have her there during a gyn exam. But maybe everyone is different .

Just after their first cycle.

I'll add what I've heard, which is 18 unless sexually active at a younger age. I personally refused to go till just before I was married and wanted to get on BC. (I was 20) One thing that helped me get through it (I am an extreeeeeemly private person...I don't even hug people I don't know well, etc.) was to be sure I was seeing a female doctor. That might be helpful for your daughter when she does go. I hate it so bad I will get physically sick beforehand, but that does help me a bit

Well i took myself to Planned Parenthood when I was 17 because I was 17 and sexually active, and really couldn't go to my Mom about it, I think she was in denial too I wanted to get on BC so I went, of course my Mom found out cause PP called and asked for Kathleen, NO ONE calls me Kathleen, so she figured it out that was not fun, but hey, if I had felt like I could talk to her about it then went shortly after that to the regular GYN and I've gone every year since then, been on BC that long too. My advice is to be open with your daughter, don't try to ignore that she is 15, cause "stuff" happens and if you communicate with your daughter now, then she will feel like she can go to you if something happens... that make sense?