I had a miscarriage...

maddensmom

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
2,145
Purraise
1
Location
NE Arkansas
Its been a horribly long week. I realized this weekend that I was about a week late for my period, and was spotting a little. I took a pregnancy test on Monday and it was positive! We weren't planning to have a baby but we were both really excited anyway. Monday night I started hurting in my back really badly and tuesday morning I miscarried. I passed most of the tissue then. I went into the doctors today so they could make sure that my body was taking care of everything ok. I also got a shot for pain b/c my uterus is still swollen from the pregnancy and is pressing into my lower back. I was only about four weeks along, but its amazing, even only knowing for a day that you are pregnant, how quickly you can become so attached to a growing child.


I'm on rest w/limited activity for the next couple of days so you guys may see a lot of me. The doctor said that its completely normal for young women to lose their first pregnancy very early on and happens a lot more than people think. She also said that I shouldn't have anything to worry about with concieving later on. Its just so devastating. I'm really glad that I have you guys to get this off my chest. Hubby and I are dealing with it the best way that we know how....its just so hard. I know that some of you will be able to relate to what I'm going through, whereas my friends aren't even married, let alone thinking about having children.

thanks for letting me get it off my chest a bit.
 

kluchetta

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2005
Messages
11,023
Purraise
30
Location
Golden, Colorado
Oh, I'm so sorry. That must be so devastating emotionally.
Make sure to take some time to heal, and let Madden and your hubby take care of you. Hugs
 

dawnofsierra

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Feb 24, 2004
Messages
16,678
Purraise
24
Location
Loving my beautiful baby girl
Oh no! This is crushing. The physical pain must be insignificant compared to what you're experiencing in your heart. Please allow yourself to feel and express these emotions. I'm so very sorry, truly sorry.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #5

maddensmom

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
2,145
Purraise
1
Location
NE Arkansas
Thank you all so much for your kind words. The physical pain is hard but you're absolutely right when you say that the emotional pain is so much worse. I haven't slept in two days, I can't hardly eat, and most of this is from the emotional end instead of the physical. Stress can do amazing things to your body. I'm going to take the next few days to rest and let my body catch up to itself. I can't imagine how hard it must be for people who go through this time and time again.
 

snowleop

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
2,176
Purraise
2
Location
Georgia, US
I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now -- physically and emotionally.

My sister miscarried her first baby very early in the pregnancy and she heard the same thing from her doctor -- that it's very common for a woman's to miscarry during her first pregnancy.

She went on to have two healthy and adorable boys who make her life both difficult and extremely fulfilling.

You need time to grieve, so let your body do that, but please know that your future life has many wonderful things in store for you.
 

lilleah

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 18, 2005
Messages
1,877
Purraise
2
Location
Bright & Sunny Florida
Awww...sometimes I just never know the right words to say, and this is one of those times.

I hope everything gets better soon for you. This is a horrible time.

Sending lots of feel better vibes.
 

junior67

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
May 1, 2006
Messages
706
Purraise
1
maddensmom---- ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))0 I am sooooooooo sorry! I had 3 miscarriages over a period of 3 yrs. so if you want to talk I am here. Also (someone can feel free to edit this if it is not appropriate........) I belong to a womens board and there is a miscarriage topic where you can chat with others that have been through it. I can give you the link if you would like. It is soooooooooo hard to have to go through the pain of a miscarriage and even more difficult to go through the emotional pain. Many hugs for you and your hubby. Feel free to vent and let that pain out as that is the best thing for you, also be prepared that you may seem to be doing well then one day just loose it, it happens.
((((((((((HUGS))))))))) And I have since had 2 wonderful little girls since then with no miscarriages between them.
 

chrissyr

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
784
Purraise
1
Location
Around the bend!
I'm sorry, too. I've had more miscarriages then I care to say and it just hurts like hell (if I can say that). I hope both of you are supporting each other with tons of love and understanding. The pain will get better, both physically and emtionally.

I'm wishing you the best!
 

butterflydream

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
Messages
1,484
Purraise
1
Location
Front Royal Va
I am so sorry hun. I had one miscarriage before I had my daughter and it was painful for me both emotionally and physically and isn't something I talk about often. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this time. Take it easy and take care of yourself. I know I don't know you or anyone really too well on this board save for one young lady but that doesn't matter.

You need support and it is given from my end. I hope that as time passes your pain weakens (both physically and emotionally)....loss is always hard no matter if it's at the beginning or the end or anywhere else on life. Rest in the comfort of all the arms of love that surround you.

 

tilly tiger

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Nov 28, 2005
Messages
228
Purraise
1
Location
staffordshire
i am so sorry for you both. i can sort of know what you are going thought because i had to termanate a pregnancy though no fault of my own at 26 weeks and the pain was so unbearable but i have now got 2 gourgous girls so my heart go out to you
 

clixpix

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
14,540
Purraise
2
Originally Posted by maddensmom

I was only about four weeks along, but its amazing, even only knowing for a day that you are pregnant, how quickly you can become so attached to a growing child.


I'm on rest w/limited activity for the next couple of days so you guys may see a lot of me. The doctor said that its completely normal for young women to lose their first pregnancy very early on and happens a lot more than people think.
Of course you're grieving. Even though it was only a few days, you and your hubby were already making plans, imagining what your child would look like, whether it's a boy or girl...

Also, your doctor is absolutely right. It's extremely common to lose a first pregnancy. Many women do not even realize they were pregnant.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #16

maddensmom

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
2,145
Purraise
1
Location
NE Arkansas
Thanks again to you all for your kindness. You really don't know what a help you are to me right now.

One thing that really frustrates me that I need to get off my chest:

One of my dh's friends from high school married a girl that I grew up down the road from. Her family all have like 12 kids a piece--they have them for the welfare checks. She is my age and is pregnant with her third child. She dosen't take care of her self let alone her kids (aside from the basic necessities, they aren't being abused or anything). She didn't take prenatal vitamins with any of her pregnancies and it seems like her kids are sick all the time. Another friend of a friend just turned 18 in Novemeber and is due with her second child (by a second man who is a good friend of ours) in August. Her first child is a little over a year old and lives with his father who is less capable of taking care of him than she is, but at least loves him. She just dosen't want to take any responsibility for him. She lives with the father of her second baby, they make pretty good money and he has two kids that she half way helps take care of, but never bothers to go see her own. She wants to live like she never had her first one, which makes me wonder how she's going to treat her second.

Why can people like this have full-term pregnancies everytime they turn around and someone who would give a child a wonderful life and love them with all their being lose theirs? It just dosen't make any sense to me.
 

clixpix

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
14,540
Purraise
2
Originally Posted by maddensmom

Why can people like this have full-term pregnancies everytime they turn around and someone who would give a child a wonderful life and love them with all their being lose theirs? It just dosen't make any sense to me.
And it never will. I'm an L&D nurse, believe me, we say this so often.

It's natural to feel this way right now. In time it won't be so acute.

As for those you speak about, do you really envy them their lives? Children or not, they're living sad little lives. You'll have your children, a good man who loves you, and the life you deserve.

Hang in there!
 

pat

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 1, 2003
Messages
11,045
Purraise
58
Location
Pacific NW
I am truly sorry for your loss.

I was an l&d nurse for years (high risk as well as we took care of clinic and all no prenatal care patients in our city - the other hospitals would transfer them to us), it was often thought provoking as to some of the folks having children, and the difficulties those who really wanted them, would have.

Take your time, grieve, don't let anyone tell you to just move on.
 

pombina

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 13, 2005
Messages
4,945
Purraise
4
Location
The cats house, we just pay the mortgage..
Oh I am so sorry for you and your husband
I know how devastating this is but feel comforted in knowing it was not this childs time to be born, for whatever reason. I'm sure in the future you will have happy bouncing babies. Stay strong.
 
Top