Ladies and their friends?

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I guess the main reason I wanted to know about this was, after my divorce I got to be really good friends with a girl, that was a friend of a friend, we'd known each other for awhile but had never hung out. Well anyway, all last year we did everything together, she lived an hour away and I would drive to see her all the time etc, then she got a new BF and basically stopped talking to me as much, so I told her that wasn't very cool, that I had never ditched her for any of the guys I had dated in that year... apparently she didn't want to hear that because she hasn't talked to me in about 5 months, but I guess that really showed what kind of friend she was, it just upsets me, cause my mom always told me boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever-apparently she never got that lesson

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Oooo...that's too bad. Sounds like basically she's a "fair weathered" friend. I had one like that too (hence why I don't hang out with girls that much). She was single for a long time, then found this guy. The instant she started dating him she stopped returning my calls and emailing me back (she was only 20 minutes away too).
After 5 months they broke it off. THAT'S when I got the email saying she's free now to go bar hopping and find her a new guy. It really disgusted me, so I told her that I didn't appreciate being ignored for 5 months. We stopped talking after my email back.
Your friend is busy concentrating on the friendship so basically she's giving up her girlfriends. It's not right, but there are plenty o' girls out there that will do what they can in the name of some boy!

Originally Posted by pinkdaisy226

I don't really have many girl friends... the ones I have live out of town. I hope to make some though, I think sometimes it's important to spent time away from your SO...

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HEY THERE! Haven't seen you in a hundred years!!!

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I guess the main reason I wanted to know about this was, after my divorce I got to be really good friends with a girl, that was a friend of a friend, we'd known each other for awhile but had never hung out. Well anyway, all last year we did everything together, she lived an hour away and I would drive to see her all the time etc, then she got a new BF and basically stopped talking to me as much, so I told her that wasn't very cool, that I had never ditched her for any of the guys I had dated in that year... apparently she didn't want to hear that because she hasn't talked to me in about 5 months, but I guess that really showed what kind of friend she was, it just upsets me, cause my mom always told me boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever-apparently she never got that lesson

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I had kind of the opposite but similar situation (okay, that makes no sense, but you'll see what I mean... ) A friend of mine, who I met right before she got married, would always try to make plans with me when her husband was going to be off doing something on his own, and would literally never see me otherwise, unless it was a situation where her husband would be invited too. Then they got separated and, trying to be a good friend, I made myself available to her whenever she needed me, regardless of whether I happened to be in a relationship at the time or not, because I think that's just what you do. You don't ditch your girlfriends just because you have a man in your life. Anyway, she and her husband reconciled and of course it was back to the old situation again. Then about two years ago they separated again, and this time they divorced. Once again she wanted to see me all the time. Then last year I got married and not only did she still expect to see me all the time (and I mean ALL the time) she didn't even pretend to make an effort to know my husband at all (the first time she met him was at the wedding). That is also not cool. Both DH and I spend time with our own friends separately--not a ton, but some--but we also spend time with eachother's friends. Except her, obviously.

I've lost contact with a lot of people since moving away to be with Mark and I do miss hanging out with them but I do still see them, just not as much.
Mark goes out with the boys a lot, they are really close and need their 'guy time' but also we all go out together, with the girlfriends too and its great fun. Mark and I also go out together too.

I have girlfriends of my own...he has guy friends of his own...and we have some mutual friends. It's never been a big deal if one of us wants to go do something without the other. But we're both very independent people and aren't the kind of couple that's together all the time. (Not that there's anything wrong with that...it's just not who we are.) We'd drive each other crazy if we were together all the time.

One question, though...if you don't have any girlfriends of your own, who do you complain to about HIM?

Originally Posted by kittylover4ever

HEY THERE! Haven't seen you in a hundred years!!!

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Phew, how old are we?? ACK!

Neither of us can stand people who are overly masculine OR overly feminine.

We prefer "gender neutral" people . LOL.

Originally Posted by pinkdaisy226

Phew, how old are we?? ACK!

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Just missed you Mrs. Ari!!

One female friend, my best friend, but she lives in Washington.
Generally speaking (no offesense ladies!) I do not like, nor do I get along well with women.

This may be a different situation than most, because I am in college, making it easy to hang out with my friends. We have a group of 8 or so girls in my nursing class who are all very close. When everyone is in town, we get together atleast once a week and go out. I am lucky in the fact that my bf likes all my friends and vice versa, so sometimes he hangs with us, sometimes he doesn't. Same with his friends, we all get along so its occasionally just them, sometimes me too. Went through a spell in high school where we were both insanely jealous, but we got over it! (Of course half of that was neither of us had very good friends, and once we realized that and made good friends in collge, things changed!)

Originally Posted by Arlyn

One female friend, my best friend, but she lives in Washington.
Generally speaking (no offesense ladies!) I do not like, nor do I get along well with women.

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No offense taken. I am the same.

I do not think having seperate friends is nearly as important as individual "me time".

Jeremy and I both cherish our individuality and our own time.
He plays softball 3 nights a weeks, that is his time out with the boys and my time to do as I please.

Going on 6 years now and we are still as close and as in love as we were from the start.

I actually need some girlfriends here. I left all my friends behind in Georgia to move to Alabama with my husband, and while I stay in touch with my best friend back in GA as much as possible, it's just not the same...and I don't have anyone to shop with or have lunch dates with or see chick flicks with. (My husband does go out and do things socially with me, of course, but there are certain things like shoe shopping and movies without explosions aren't really interesting to him.)

I have online friends too, but I need a friend that I can call up and say "hey, there's a sale at Payless this weekend, let's go buy some shoes!" or something of the sort.

Shopping with friends is so expensive, though.

Originally Posted by shengmei

Shopping with friends is so expensive, though.

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It is!??
Seriously though, honey and I have separate lives pretty much. He has his friends and I have mine. But we have mutual good friends too. I have a great friend that I love to be around. She so fun! Honey plays disc golf and I have NO interest in that what so ever so he goes off Weds to play while I work and then once a week my girlfriend and I go shopping with the rule, no boys or kids allowed! But we also have our time too. and when it becomes apparent that our time is fewer and far between, well, the friends get pushed back and our time gets pushed to the front.

I think it's very important to have friends that you see away from your partner. Girl's nights are SUCH an important part of my life, I would never be able to give those up! So obviously my answer is that yes, I make it a priority to keep a number of close girlfriends that I get to see when I'm away from my SO, but who also get along with him well enough to spend time with the both of us. I feel very lucky to have such amazing friends actually!

My friend Jen is married and I USED to live with someone. She and I indulge in power shopping/lunch trips.

If we can manage it, before Christmas, we are going to Phoenix for a weekend. We'll get a motel room, hit the Arizona Mills Outlet Mall and a couple of antique malls.

Its neat to see how everyone's relationships and opinions on this subject differ!!
I think that as long as your relationship is healthy then do what makes you happy!! I am not saying that I never spend time away from Lee because I do. But I really don't hang out with "the girls" like that. We go shopping on occasion or go have lunch and gossip but normally I go out with my mom and sister to do things I want to do.

I agree...everyones relationship is different and you should do whatever works best for your relationship


I of course have time to my self....mainly because I work a better schedule than my husband I get off at 1:30 in the afternoon and I am home by 2:00pm...so from 2 to usually around 6 I have the whole house to myself...and as far as shopping I actually like going shopping by myself after work because I am a very picky shopper and I usually take a long time....so I don't want to hold up my friends.

I really don't do the whole "girl's night out" but we do have a Margarita night every tuesday ....but there are usually 3 men there including my husband. And we also do craft night's on everyother sunday...but its at my best friends house (which she lives with her mom and is still in college)....in which my husband also comes and talks with her mom (which is my godmother and Jason (dh) has known her all his life). So pretty much everything that we do, we do together....but like I said it works for us.

You guys all have it right........"whatever works best for you"!!

One of my girlfriends and I went out to dinner a few Tuesdays ago, and there was a waitress that mentioned how nice it is to see women go out and enjoy themselves,etc. She was mentioning that she has a friend that she likes to go out with but has been backing off from it lately. Her friends husband doesnt' trust that they're just going to dinner and he follows them, calls her constantly, etc. Obviously not a good relationship if they can't trust eachother.