Ladies and their friends?

katiemae1277 · Jun 7, 2006

I was just wondering about this and thought I'd ask.... How many of you ladies that are in relationships, whether married or just have boyfriends/fiances, have girlfriends that you regularly hang out with? like go to the movies or out to dinner together, without your S/O? I personally feel that its very important to have friends separate from your S/O, but have noticed that not many women do... its like they have their S/O and mutual friends but no close girlfriends of their own- what about you all? and how do you feel about this topic?

gayef · Jun 7, 2006

As someone very, very wise once said to me ... your girl friends will come and bail you out of jail, but your very best girl friend will be sitting there right beside you saying, DANG that was fun!!!

kittylover4ever · Jun 7, 2006

I have some good friends that I see once every couple of months, but am in contact with via phone/email all the time. I think it's fine to have friends outside the relationship if that's something that's important to you. Of course, if your spouse is opposed to it, then something's wrong.......IMO.

alaynna · Jun 7, 2006

well I am a different case because my husband and I have always done everything together and we hang out with friends together....there has maybe been one or two times when I have gone out with my friends without him and that was because he was working....my husband and I have the same good friends...i actually met him through my best friend. So she is like a sister to him and they have known eachother for years......its kinda of funny because a lot of times my husband is the only guy hanging out with us. I also hang out with his guys friends all the time.. And all of the friends that we have are the ones we had from highschool so we have known eachothers friends for a long time now.

**this is my opinion...please don't get mad****

I actually disagree that you "should have different friends". My husband and I have always been together everyday since we met for 4 1/2 years now and we will never change that.......we actually worked together right up till the beginning of this year when he switched jobs (more money

)......We are soo much a like that we have the same interests, so we don't have a need to hang out with different people. but like I said we have a different relationship than a lot of people.......

babyharley · Jun 7, 2006

I have 1 girl friend that I hang out with regularily - going shopping, go to movies, all that fun girly stuff with! John would never do that stuff with me, and I feel that its so important to have friends outside the relationship.

I also have some of his friends, whom are guys, that I hang out with regularily without him - and he's okay with that.

If I didn't have friends besides hanging out with John, I would go crazy!

I don't have many girl friends - but thats b/c I don't get along with girls very well, I get along better w/ guys. Not sure why that is, but I've always been that way, ever since I was little!

We have the same group of friends - but thats b/c I haven't lived here that long to get to know different people - except my 1 girl friend I hang out with, I met her @ work.

lunasmom · Jun 7, 2006

I have friends outside the relationship, but most moved out of Michigan (One I'm going to see this weekend!

)

I still have one girlfriend in Michigan though that I see every couple of months. Its been hard though because she decided to get her Masters in Teaching and did an accelerated program where you can get the degree in 1 year, but you have to attend the classes AND student teach for a whole year. when she was done, she got a job right away, and then her and her fiance got married...so now we're just getting caught up on the past 2 years.

Since I'm a computer geek though, most of my friends are guys. Sometimes I have a hard time understanding girls...but that's just the geek coming out.

lilleah · Jun 7, 2006

Originally Posted by Alaynna

well I am a different case because my husband and I have always done everything together and we hang out with friends together....there has maybe been one or two times when I have gone out with my friends without him and that was because he was working....my husband and I have the same good friends...i actually met him through my best friend. So she is like a sister to him and they have known eachother for years......its kinda of funny because a lot of times my husband is the only guy hanging out with us. I also hang out with his guys friends all the time.. And all of the friends that we have are the ones we had from highschool so we have known eachothers friends for a long time now.

**this is my opinion...please don't get mad****

I actually disagree that you "should have different friends". My husband and I have always been together everyday since we met for 4 1/2 years now and we will never change that.......we actually worked together right up till the beginning of this year when he switched jobs (more money

)......We are soo much a like that we have the same interests, so we don't have a need to hang out with different people. but like I said we have a different relationship than a lot of people.......

WOW! This is amazing. It's the same with me. My DH and I have been together for 4 years, met through us working together, and he started hanging out with my "crew". And We have the same friends that we both hang out with.

We're always together...We still work together. I dont actually have any close girlfriends anymore. Just a couple of guy best friends, that both me and DH share. My best friends from before also got boyfriends, and kind of just fell off the face of the earth. Im still in contact with a couple, but it's not worth my time when I invite them to birthdays, like mine and my daughters, and they dont show, dont call me...etc. I would much rather hang with my DH and our 2 guy friends. Much more fun.

alaynna · Jun 7, 2006

Originally Posted by lilleah

WOW! This is amazing. It's the same with me. My DH and I have been together for 4 years, met through us working together, and he started hanging out with my "crew". And We have the same friends that we both hang out with.

We're always together...We still work together. I dont actually have any close girlfriends anymore. Just a couple of guy best friends, that both me and DH share. My best friends from before also got boyfriends, and kind of just fell off the face of the earth. Im still in contact with a couple, but it's not worth my time when I invite them to birthdays, like mine and my daughters, and they dont show, dont call me...etc. I would much rather hang with my DH and our 2 guy friends. Much more fun.

Yes! There is another couple out there that does the same thing that we do!

ilovesiamese · Jun 7, 2006

I have my bestfriend since we were 3 years old that I do things with separately and we also do things in foursomes. Like Her, her S/O, me and my DH go to a movie etc.

I also have a lot of girlfriends from school that I go out with apart from DH, actually the majority of the time, if I'm with a group of people from school, its normally with out Kyle, although he's welcome. He just feels too out numbered by females.

We always have the most time saved for us as a couple and with our son, which is most important to us.

I am not friends with many of Kyle's friends from before and they don't really contact us because we moved and matured so they think we are stuck up now (my fault of course

)

katiemae1277 · Jun 7, 2006

Originally Posted by gayef

As someone very, very wise once said to me ... your girl friends will come and bail you out of jail, but your very best girl friend will be sitting there right beside you saying, DANG that was fun!!!

that is SOOOO true!

Originally Posted by kittylover4ever

I have some good friends that I see once every couple of months, but am in contact with via phone/email all the time. I think it's fine to have friends outside the relationship if that's something that's important to you. Of course, if your spouse is opposed to it, then something's wrong.......IMO.

I totally agree with that

Originally Posted by Alaynna

**this is my opinion...please don't get mad****

I actually disagree that you "should have different friends". My husband and I have always been together everyday since we met for 4 1/2 years now and we will never change that.......we actually worked together right up till the beginning of this year when he switched jobs (more money

)......We are soo much a like that we have the same interests, so we don't have a need to hang out with different people. but like I said we have a different relationship than a lot of people.......

I'm not mad at all! I wanted to get everyone's diff opinions

Originally Posted by babyharley

I have 1 girl friend that I hang out with regularily - going shopping, go to movies, all that fun girly stuff with! John would never do that stuff with me, and I feel that its so important to have friends outside the relationship.

I also have some of his friends, whom are guys, that I hang out with regularily without him - and he's okay with that.

If I didn't have friends besides hanging out with John, I would go crazy!

I don't have many girl friends - but thats b/c I don't get along with girls very well, I get along better w/ guys. Not sure why that is, but I've always been that way, ever since I was little!

We have the same group of friends - but thats b/c I haven't lived here that long to get to know different people - except my 1 girl friend I hang out with, I met her @ work.

that pretty much sounds like a great arrangement, and I 100% agree with the crazy comment! I'm like you too MacKenzie, I've never gotten on well with females, my good friends have always been guys

Originally Posted by lunasmom

I have friends outside the relationship, but most moved out of Michigan (One I'm going to see this weekend!

)

I still have one girlfriend in Michigan though that I see every couple of months. Its been hard though because she decided to get her Masters in Teaching and did an accelerated program where you can get the degree in 1 year, but you have to attend the classes AND student teach for a whole year. when she was done, she got a job right away, and then her and her fiance got married...so now we're just getting caught up on the past 2 years.

Since I'm a computer geek though, most of my friends are guys. Sometimes I have a hard time understanding girls...but that's just the geek coming out.

sometimes life does get in the way, huh? but its good that you can reconnect too

I guess the main reason I wanted to know about this was, after my divorce I got to be really good friends with a girl, that was a friend of a friend, we'd known each other for awhile but had never hung out. Well anyway, all last year we did everything together, she lived an hour away and I would drive to see her all the time etc, then she got a new BF and basically stopped talking to me as much, so I told her that wasn't very cool, that I had never ditched her for any of the guys I had dated in that year... apparently she didn't want to hear that because she hasn't talked to me in about 5 months, but I guess that really showed what kind of friend she was, it just upsets me, cause my mom always told me boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever-apparently she never got that lesson

luckygirl · Jun 7, 2006

I have 2 g/f's that I talk to daily... ok, ok, a few times a day. My Best Friend, is my sis-n-law now...we married brothers. And I have my sisters...2 younger, 1 older (I try to see them every 6 wks, we all live 1-2hrs apart, but talk to them weekly). I have a friend that I talk to once a week and we get together like once a month. And if we have bbq's everyone comes, we're all friends/family so we all hang out together... the guys will be out by the grill and the girls will be on the front porch. We also have this small group of neighbors that we see a few times a week while the kids play out side, we call ourselves the ya-ya's (from the movie)... and we just sit on the porch chit chat and drink a beer or a wine cooler while the kids run through the yards playing. And a few times a year we have a real girls night out...where we go to see the hot all male review! I know, we're bad girls!!!

catloverin_ks · Jun 7, 2006

Well used to be I would go out ALL the time w/o hubby and then I realized I really wasnt being fair and of course I had my daughter

and now I rarely ever go out w/o him!! Most of my bestest frriends moved away

and the one I "hang" with, well her s/o just doesnt *allow*-if you will-her to go out anywhere with out him attached to her hip!

I dont see anything wrong with couples having time apart-it really does the relastionship good, but this is just my opnion of course

icklemiss21 · Jun 7, 2006

Originally Posted by babyharley

I
I don't have many girl friends - but thats b/c I don't get along with girls very well, I get along better w/ guys. Not sure why that is, but I've always been that way, ever since I was little!

We have the same group of friends - but thats b/c I haven't lived here that long to get to know different people - except my 1 girl friend I hang out with, I met her @ work.

Same here, I moved to Canada from the UK so I didn't know many people here and his friends became my friends so generally we do a lot of stuff together, and he is happy enough to do girly stuff like come shopping with me etc so it doesn't bother me so much.

We are all friends within the couples so often I will sit with the girls and he will sit with the guys at the bar when we all do dinner etc, but we generally don't make plans to meet away from the guys unless its planning a party or something.

But generally, I am a lot happier watching football with the 'boys' and one of the other girls than sitting with the other girls bitching about how the guys love sports more than them

phenomsmom · Jun 7, 2006

Lee and I share most of all our friends. The girls I knew in high school tunred on me when I started dating Lee. I never had enough time to hag out with them all the time like I used to. And I was the only one with a boyfriend at any given time. All of our friends are couples so we generally hang out together. I hang with the girls sometimes while he fishes with the guys or whatever.

katiemae1277 · Jun 7, 2006

I think too its important to have your identity, like I'm Katie and this is (insert BF name here) not we're katie&_____ My parents have been married almost 30 years and they have always had their own interests and friends, heck they even went on separate vacations sometimes

So alot of what I believe in is based on their relationship, They love each other very much, but realize that they each need their own lives, but when it comes down to it they are there for each other

The responses have been great! keep 'em coming!

KittenKrazy · Jun 7, 2006

Deep subject for me, I'm afraid. Having been married for 16 years, and working with my hub for 14 of those years, I realised a while back that I no longer have any close friends......all we ever do is work, work and work some more. I do have some on various websites and on msn, but my hub is so jealous of them that he's about to make me cut out my home internet time completley too, so if I'm not at work, or checking email from home, I won't be visiting with those friends either.

My theory? You both need some different friends, keeps things interesting, lol!

lillekat · Jun 7, 2006

I ahve one girly friend that I go and do stuff with - even though it's not regularly. I think it depends on the people - some people cope with being in a relationship and seeing no-one else. Some people, like myself, need to just get a break form time to time. See someone else, or even just sit alone with a book for an hour. I think time apart is good for a relationship... it makes you appreciate the other more when you get back

pinkdaisy226 · Jun 7, 2006

I don't really have many girl friends... the ones I have live out of town. I hope to make some though, I think sometimes it's important to spent time away from your SO...

trouts mom · Jun 7, 2006

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I was just wondering about this and thought I'd ask.... How many of you ladies that are in relationships, whether married or just have boyfriends/fiances, have girlfriends that you regularly hang out with? like go to the movies or out to dinner together, without your S/O? I personally feel that its very important to have friends separate from your S/O, but have noticed that not many women do... its like they have their S/O and mutual friends but no close girlfriends of their own- what about you all? and how do you feel about this topic?

Me and Ken actually have no mutual friends. He is not social at all, so I usually go out without him. Either that or its just me and him.

trouts mom · Jun 7, 2006

Originally Posted by KittenKrazy

Deep subject for me, I'm afraid. Having been married for 16 years, and working with my hub for 14 of those years, I realised a while back that I no longer have any close friends......all we ever do is work, work and work some more. I do have some on various websites and on msn, but my hub is so jealous of them that he's about to make me cut out my home internet time completley too, so if I'm not at work, or checking email from home, I won't be visiting with those friends either.

My theory? You both need some different friends, keeps things interesting, lol!

I don't mean to offend you here, but your hubby doens't sound very nice making you "give something up" that you enjoy. my boyfriend is very jealous too, and it is uncalled for.

Ladies and their friends?

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