i definately think there should be comprehensive sex ed in schools, because not all kids are getting it at home. my mother never talked about sex to me - not a word. i didn't find out what a period was until i went to the bathroom one day (i was 11), and saw blood. i freaked out, i thought i was dying. i started crying, i came out and she asked what was wrong and i told her "there's blood down there" and her exact words were "oh..i've been waiting for this to happen". um..what? she then explained about periods (leaving out anything about actual sex, of course). if i ever have kids i'm not putting my little girl through that. when she's of age to get a period she will know what to expect.
this culture is so wierd about sex. we're obsessed with it, at the same time we're repulsed by it. yet violence is perfectly acceptable. a man chopping up a womans breast in a movie will get an R rating. however, a man kissing a womans breast will get an x rating. does that make any sense at all?
sorry, i'm getting off topic. anyway, we need sex ed in schools, and it needs to be thorough, and not biased in one way or another. it's fine to talk about abstinence, but you also have to take into consideration that some teens are going to have sex. bearing that in mind, i think it makes sense to teach them how to be safe when doing so.
it also bothers me that many adults seem to think that for a teen to desire sex, there must be something wrong with them - ie low self esteen, or they were abused, or they're seeking attention. why is it so hard to believe that a teenager might want to have sex for the same reasons adults do - to show affection and love for someone, because it feels good...? i think we'll make great strides in curbing teen pregancy when we start to admit that just because a 17 year old wants to make love with her boyfriend doesn't mean she's damaged or messed up in the head. most people i know lost their virginity before 18. it's happening, and it's going to continue to happen, because it's human nature. kids grow up-they turn into teenagers and they want to live and experience things that adults do. so why not teach them how to be safe about it? and not only that, teach them how to be responsible human beings. that it's wrong to sleep with someone who's married or has a bf/gf. (i'm talking about teaching this to girls AND boys). that its wrong to tell a girl you love her just so you can sleep with her. that its wrong to sleep with a boy just to get him to like you. (and it wont work, he either likes you or he wont. if he doesnt, and you sleep with him, he's just going to look down on you, not like you more). teach teens that its good to wait to have sex - wait until you're in love, until you're 18, but that if you choose not to do that, you need to be responsible. you need to use birth control (and birth control is everyone's repsonsibility, not just the girl's). teach girls that just because a boy has sex with you, it doesnt mean he loves you.
young boys are expected to have sexual feelings. its a joke "boys with raging hormones". but we want to think of our teenage girls as little angels with no sexual feelings. this does them a tremendous disservice. if we never speak to them frankly about sex, and let them know that it's ok to think about such things-if we keep treating them as babies who are innocent (when they aren't. females enjoy sex just like males do), then how in the world do we expect them to know how to protect themselves if for example, theyre online and a sexual predator tries to engage them in conversation?
picture this - a 16 year old girl, who fantasizes about having a bf, wonders what sex is like, ect, but she can't talk about it with anyone. she's too embarassed to talk about it with her parents-because THEYRE too embarassed to talk about it with HER! they'd rather just think of her as a ten year old, all innocent. she has no outlet to talk about these things. so she's online and she meets a man. what does this man tell her? well he talks to her about sex, he talks to her as an equal. his motives are evil-but she doesnt know that. all she knows is here is someone she can talk to about sex, when she cant talk about it with anyone else. you can guess what happens next.
we dont arm our daughters with any way to protect themselves, and it really makes me angry. we think of them as these innocent helpless little females-and then we wonder why they fulfill that prophecy and end up victimized by sexual predators. we need to let them know that they are strong, that they can say no, that its ok to have sexual feelings, having them doesn't mean you need to act on them.
i could go on and on...its an issue that means a lot to me. if i ever have kids, i want them to grow up strong, safe, informed human beings, who know how to take care of themselves, and how to act ethically and responsibly when it comes to sex. i plan to teach them that, but for the millions of kids who's parents dont tell them anything cos theyre "too embarassed to talk about it", sex ed in school is critical.