Anyone Else have Family Issues

I thought I was bipolar for awhile. My BIL's ex certainly made everybody believe that I was.

Anyhow, I definitely am not bipolar. The verdict is loud and clear.

I always had troubles sleeping. I can not have any clocks in my room. However ever since I got married I slept like a baby. I think it is just neurons being overactive and firing everywhere, a very common problem with Asperger's Syndrome.

Chemomile tea helps me tremendously. Don't use Saint John's Wort, though....for some reason it made me somewhat violent when I was taking it. The brain chemistry is so complicated it is basically a case of trial and error.

Also, be careful in using anti-depressents. I tried Lexipro once and it lowered my blood pressure so much it was dangerous.

Your daughter actually sounds pretty normal to me. There is nothing to worry about.

There are so many mental problems people associate with Asperger's Syndrome when it is simply brain neurons overfiring. People think too much about a simple thing a lot of times.

Hi,just a thought butterflydreme,I stopped seeing my abusive in-laws because they started on my four kids,being really aggressive and abusive,they were just the same to my husband when he was a kid.
Are your parents the same to your children as they are to you?
I have stopped all contact with mine,and it has truly saved my sanity!
It really is not upto me to tell you what to do,but in my case,it has saved a lot of heartache,stress,and built up feelings,by just not bothering with them,but it took ten years to make this decision.
Please dont blame yourself,it sounds like you are doing a great job raising your kids,especially after all you have been through with your first marriage,you must be a real survivor,to come through all this so far.
Like they say you cant choose your family...
Do you have any good friends who can help you out?
sending prayers for you and your family
x

I don't know if any of you have seen this site, I saw this family on TV and this lad is just brilliant
http://www.lukejackson.info/index2.html
If you have time have a look at the graphics he makes they are astounding.
Anne

o wow he is 15.... I think I want to read his books Thank you for the site...

I don't know what they've been saying to my daughter behind my back. I do know one time they 'questioned' her about some bruises she got in daycare and asking if "daddy was mean to her"

I know this because she asked me the next day "Why did bammaw ask if daddy was mean to me" (at this point she was only 3 years old and very bright)

Lord only knows if they've been saying things to my kids behind my back. My son isn't old enough to understand. But like my husband said, I was doing much better when I had dropped contact with them. I had refused contact for a year but then I found out my BIL had supposedly hurt my sister intentionally (now I don't doubt that it was provoked ie: her shoving, hitting and punching him, and he was defending himself). And I initiated contact again for the sake of the fam. Now I realize that was a mistake and a half.

Might sound odd, but women can be abusive too and being down here and around them more, I can say that I've seen her being verbally abusive to him. She's always putting him down. Even in front of her own son, she said something really hateful about him looking just like his father and in a way that was ohhhh what's the word....degrading.

I feel bad for those kids, I really do.

I've seen her hit him (her husband) in a not so playful way...if ya know what I mean.

But he's sticking it out for his kids. She forced him to father a third one. She's only 22. He didn't want another one but he knew the consequences if he didn't.

I actually respect my BIL. I don't like to see how my sister treats him. Its awful.

Your sister married your BIL? That is interesting. Did they met through you guys?

You can surround yourself with caring people who become your family and live a happy and full life without the people you share genetics with.

People don't hurt you - you have to let them. If you step away and remove them from your life, the pain goes away too. It's difficult, but it is the best decision you will ever make.

Originally Posted by neetanddave

You can surround yourself with caring people who become your family and live a happy and full life without the people you share genetics with.

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I agree!!! I am actually much closer to my inlaws than my own biological family.

Originally Posted by neetanddave

You can surround yourself with caring people who become your family and live a happy and full life without the people you share genetics with.

People don't hurt you - you have to let them. If you step away and remove them from your life, the pain goes away too. It's difficult, but it is the best decision you will ever make.

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AMEN to this.........

That was confusing huh?


My sister and her husband. Her husband being her husband is my BIL.

Otherwise not related.

So I guess it's like this.

Me----Hubby
' ******'
J(1)----J(2) <---our kids J(1) is my daughter from my previous marriage J(2) is our son.

Sister(1)----Hubby(BIL-1) <---Sister one is 2 years younger than me
__________'
__________'
Baby on the way
____________________________Sister two is youngest sister and
Sister(2)------Hubby(BIL-2) <---Above mentioned abusive sister.
__________'
__________'
____'_____'____'
___TW___ZJ___NR (her three sons-oldest 4, middle almost 3, youngest 7 months)


Didn't come out the way I had intended. But it's supposed to be a sort of family tree.

You know where i stand on your evil parents hon. I really dont like parents that treat their kids like yours have, Ive read the crap they have written to you. Its bull and you know it Rache. You need to say forget them. You dont want to expose Jackie and Josh to that kind of crud growing up. You say how much you hated growing up, you dont want them treating your kids bad because of who their father is. you dont want that. In the past, what 2 years we have been talking back and forth, i feel we have been able to get to know each other rather well, and its just crap hon, listen to me, you dont need it.

Originally Posted by ButterflyDreame

That was confusing huh?


My sister and her husband. Her husband being her husband is my BIL.

Otherwise not related.

So I guess it's like this.

Me----Hubby
' ******'
J(1)----J(2) <---our kids J(1) is my daughter from my previous marriage J(2) is our son.

Sister(1)----Hubby(BIL-1) <---Sister one is 2 years younger than me
__________'
__________'
Baby on the way
____________________________Sister two is youngest sister and
Sister(2)------Hubby(BIL-2) <---Above mentioned abusive sister.
__________'
__________'
____'_____'____'
___TW___ZJ___NR (her three sons-oldest 4, middle almost 3, youngest 7 months)


Didn't come out the way I had intended. But it's supposed to be a sort of family tree.

Click to expand...

More confused LOL it is ok I am here....

Eesh...I'm just confusing people all around...

Okay let's do it this way.

My Mom + My Dad = Me, Middle Sis, Youngest Sis

Me + Ex = J (1)-My daughter
Me + Hubby= J(2)-Our son


Middle Sis + Her hubby = baby on the way

Youngest sis + her hubby = TW (4yr old) ZJ (2 1/2 yr old) and NR (7mo)

The BIL I was referring to is my youngest sister's husband. Not related to my hubby.

My hubby's only got one brother and he's married and has 4 kids. He's much older than I am. 35 I think???


But anyways. My youngest sis is abusive to her husband and her kids.

Much like the rest of the family the circle of abuse is continuing.

On my end, the circle stops now. I don't need it and Lina is certainly right, my kids don't need it.

My mother called social services on us (AGAIN). Saying the kids were abused, that Adam was abusing me and that I was fearful for my life.




Course the kids were all laughing and playing in the living room.

Whatever!

• That the kids weren't meeting developmental milestones
• That we don't let the kids go outside to play (not lately, not since we found a copperhead in our yard I haven't that's the last thing I need is the kids to get bitten by a poisonous snake).
• That they weren't up to date on their medical checkups...Josh is one check up behind....all the moving kinda screwed it all. And that we had no medical insurance.
• That Adam was always calling me a 'fat pig' and other demeaning names. Beg to differ, I call myself fat and he tells me I'm not.
• That Adam has an anger management issue and is "always" yelling at me. He yelled at me ONCE at my mother's house and that was cause I yelled at him, it was a mutual yelling okay.
• That I was fearful of my life with Adam. (NOT).
• That we don't feed the kids anything nutritious and all they eat is McDonald's (Funny how we went out to Golden Corral tonight and Josh had broccoli and mac and cheese).
• That I never cook (wrong again and any of you that have known me know this).
• That Jackie had to spend a whole week in her room alone...(two hours, cause she threw the kitten and then we talked about it).
• AND so what if I do send her to her room At least I'm not beating her regularaly.
• Points to add while the social worker was here.

• Both kids were in the living room watching TV.
• They were smiling, talking and laughing.
• Josh was talking, though not 100% understandable he was talking. He had also dragged ALL of his toys into my living room to play with.
• Jackie showed the social worker ALL her school papers and also a note she wrote for us the other day saying "I love my Mommy, my Daddy and Josh.
• I gave the social worker the name of her school and her kindergarden teacher. If anyone is going to be concerned about abuse it will be the school first and foremost. And they know we are loving parents as we've talked to them on a regular basis concerning Jackie.
• I gave them my neighbor's name and just talked to him....he said that this is bologna and that's editing the bad words out and that he'll tell the social workers that these charges are "ridiculous".

This is the SECOND time my mother has done this. She called social services 2 years ago, and the case was dropped then (claims were unsubstantiated) and it will be dropped now.

But it STILL ticks me off and rightly so!!

We are on our way out of town anyways cause they've been stalking our house. Driving by daily and calling non stop leaving demeaning messages on my answering machine.


Why would a person's own family do something like this to you? I just don't understand. Before this 'DSS' call. My mom sent out a hateful email but not just to us...no, she forwarded it to EVERYONE on her friend's list. Telling her exactly what she felt about me, my husband and our kids.

Originally Posted by ButterflyDreame

My mother called social services on us (AGAIN). Saying the kids were abused, that Adam was abusing me and that I was fearful for my life.

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That is actually a VERY, VERY common thing the mother of the wife does everytime she does not agree with how the husband treats the children.




Don't ask me how I know (confidential information) but I know a lot of people who had the same done to them.

People always say I am paranoid because I have no faith in humanity. Well, if people had seen what I had seen, they would have no faith in humanity either.

I feel for you. Just to let you know there isn't enough memory on the servers of TCS for me to post the problems I've been having about my family. Would it be possible for you to get a third party involved in this? A therapist can help make a great deal of sense out of something like this.

I guess it also stems from the fact that my husband is not my daughter's biological father and that they just don't like him. He is actually a very loving father. Every single day he tells me and the kids that he loves us.

My father on the other hand....I can't recall the last time he said that to me.

Alot of the hatefulness stems from how my ex treated me and one of their biggest complaints about my hubby is that he buys me too many nice things and gives me too many compliments.

Here....this is my website about what happened with my ex and how I met my current hubby.

http://rmh9903.bravehost.com/index.html

Originally Posted by lookingglass

I feel for you. Just to let you know there isn't enough memory on the servers of TCS for me to post the problems I've been having about my family. Would it be possible for you to get a third party involved in this? A therapist can help make a great deal of sense out of something like this.

Click to expand...

I was seeing a therapist before when all this happened last year....we moved, they don't have a county program down here, we are fixing to move again cause my folks have been stalking us. Once we get where we are going....I'm going to find a therapist, cause I sure as heck need one.

I understand how you feel... my mother in law hates me and is very jealous of me. (My husband is her only son.) Before we got married, she said she would do anything in her power, including telling lies, to keep us from getting married. She wasn't kidding. She called the cops on me and said I was abusing him... it was so not true and the cops told her to bring pictures and proof and a statement from him, then they would do something about it. They laughed her out of the office.

Unfortunately, I bet they take the claims about your husband more seriously since they involve children.. just make sure you document how well you are treating them, take pictures of family outings, whatever you need to do in order to be able to defend yourselves in case she is ever successful at getting CPS to look into it.

*hugs*

Originally Posted by lookingglass

A therapist can help make a great deal of sense out of something like this.

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Therapy is a double-edged sword.

http://www.smartmarriages.com/hazardous.html

I think a strong support social network is more important than anything else.

I would be a little reluctant to talk about stuff to the friends. I prefer to keep the stuff separate from my social network.. There is nothing that hurts as much as people who don't believe what you went through.