Cat has a problem and I need help!

lori42

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I've had my cat for just under a year. When I first got her she had a problem with peeing on things. She liked to pee in my laundry and on my bed and other places similar to this. However, the vet said it was just her reaction to change and that it would stop. It did. However, recently she started peeing on clothing again. My laundry room is in the basement and the only other things down there are in storage. If it were just me, I'd simply not leave clothing down there. However, my roommate leaves her clothes down there all the time, and my cat is peeing on them. She insists that I spank her when she does this, but I feel that she wouldn't be doing this if she could avoid it. Is this normal and how do I make her stop?
 

hissy

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Your cat could be telling you something is wrong in the only way she can. Your first thing to do would be to take her to the vet and make sure she does not have a urinary tract infection. Once she is cleared of that then since she did it before with a change in her routine, perhaps something is different for her now? But first, please take her to the vet, and I applaud you for not spanking her, and hope your roomate isn't hitting her either. Hitting cats is not a good thing, they haven't a clue why you are hurting them and it just makes them act out more.
 

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I wonder if the roommate is not spanking her herself, when you are not around. If she were spanked for, say, jumping on the counter, then to express her stress she would start peeing on things. The fact that your roommate apparently sees nothing wrong with hurting a cat makes me think that she would have no qualms about doing it herself. Of course, we don't know your roommate, only you do, so only you know if that's a possibility.

It would be especially telling, though, if it were only your roommate's clothes she was targeting.
 
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lori42

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Well...for the most part it is just her stuff. She peed on her bed and in her room, etc. She doesn't really pee on my stuff except for the rare occassion when my stuff is somewhere that it normally isn't. I know she has spanked her before because after we first moved in here she started laughing about it in front of my friends. Although, she refuses to spank her cats, it is apparently okay with mine. (My roommate is not exactly my favorate person in the world)

Anyway, I am taking Sugar into the vet tomorrow to see if they can track down a problem. If he can't, then you'd better believe I'm gonna make up something to be sure she doesn't lay a finger on my cat. I've noticed that she is spending a lot of time around me lately, rather than running around and playing, so maybe she is doing something to her. But at the same time, it could be that she doesn't feel well and wants to hang out with me. I'll let you all know tomorrow what the vet has to say.

Thanks for the feedback...it is all definitely appreciated.
 

gayef

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I think I would find another roommate. The fact that you heard her say she did it, then laugh about it would be enough for me to start thinking about either kicking her out, or find another place to live. No one should ever be allowed to abuse your pets for any reason.

Please keep us posted,

Gaye
 
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lori42

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If I had a never ending amount of funds, I'd have been gone a long long time ago. However, I don't, and I can't kick her out because we both signed the lease. She's got cats too tho, so I don't understand why she thinks it's okay to do that to my cat, but not to her own. SIGH.

Sugar is still at the vets. They haven't gotten her to go yet so they can get a sample.
 
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lori42

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Well....

I wish I had an answer to my problem...but I don't. I went to pick up my cat at the vet today who by the way charged me $30 for the test and then another $20 because he had to sedate her. Anyway, he says she doesn't have an urinary tract problem and is actually very healthy. So he thinks it's behavioral. Maybe the cat can feel my stress because of the bad roommate situation...I don't know.

Anyway, so he conned me into buying Pheramone spray. Has anyone ever used that? Anyway, that cost me another $30, so overall I spent almost $90 at the vet just to hear him say that I should tell my roommate to pick up her dirty mess and stop being such a slob. I want to tell her that everyday. Maybe I should give him her number.

Anyway, having said all that and knowing it's not a urinary tract problem, any suggestions on how I get her to stop???
 
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lori42

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And in case anyone wanted to see a picture of my baby....here she is.
 

gayef

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Hi Again, Lori,

Glad to hear it isn't a health issue, but unfortunately, this means that it ~probably~ is behavioral and behavioral issues can be much more difficult a challenge to correct than health issues. Since we seem to at least be "on the right track" in determining the cause of the problem, (stress from the negative environment and possibly abuse) we can begin troubleshooting possible solutions to fix it.

I can completely understand the roommate situation, having once been in that position myself - stuck with the wrong person in a small place until the lease ran out *shudder* - and respect your reasons for not wanting to change it now, but until you ~can~ make a change, are you able to reason with your roommate at all? I tend to be somewhat aggressive and abrupt (who ME??? HA! *grin*) and would simply tell her that you believe the problem is probably related to her negative and abusive treatment of the cat, and that if she wants the cat's bad behavior to stop, then she must stop her own bad behavior first - but I don't know if you are able to speak that candidly to her without totally upsetting the egg basket. I feel certain you can find a gentle way of discussing this with her. (My "gentle way" would be to tell her plain and simple that if she EVER hits my cat again, and IF she lives to tell about it, I'll report her to the authorities and press charges, but in your present circumstances, I don't suggest that you follow my example. *grin*)

Once you have spoken to her, the the next thing you might try is allowing your kitty to be totally away from your roommate until kitty can reestablish a bond of trust. Your roommate will have to agree not to negatively interact with your cat no matter what kitty does to provoke it. Your roommate has to either totally ignore your cat, or agree to only interact positively - and there should be NO touching at all unless your kitty initiates it. After a couple of weeks (or longer) of only positive interaction, suggest that your roommate offer kitty some favorite treats out of her hand. Again, patience is the key, and the goal is to get kitty to trust her hands again. It might take a while, and it definitely takes a very strong committment by your roommate, but it may work.

Continued best of luck,

Gaye
 

hissy

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And shame on your roomate for spanking her!


You can show your roomate the error in her ways (maybe if she is receptive to it) by placing your clothes on the floor next to hers, far enough away so they are not touching. The kitty will be going to her clothes, because this roomie has stressed this kitty out by hitting her and since kitty is confused, she will act out in this way by squatting on roomies clothes to pee. Perhaps once the roomate sees the cat only doing this on her clothes, the light will go on in her head and she will stop hitting your kitty!

You can also get a second litter box, try different litters, spray the clothes with a lemon scented air freshener. Is kitty locked in this room a lot? If so, perhaps you can provide her with more rooms to roam to give her more freedom. Your roomate is lucky you are so tolerant. She would not like what I would do to her if I found out she was hitting one of my cats.

Good luck
 

valanhb

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I just wanted to say that your cat is absolutely gorgeous! Maybe your roommate is just jealous that she doesn't have such a beautiful cat. J/K.

The only advice I have, which you have already gotten from those more experienced than I, is to basically lay it down with your roommate. It is the stress that is causing your cat to pee on her thing, and obviously the cat is upset with her for something she did.

The easiest solution is for your roommate to pick up her things and close her bedroom. The only real solution is for your roommate to stop the negative behaviour to your cat, no hitting, no yelling, no teasing. Better for her to completely ignore your cat than try to "discipline" her.

You know your roommate, so you can decide what type of approach to take. Generally in conflict resolution the best approach is to sit down and say "We have a problem, what can we do to solve it." Don't be accusatory (as much as you want to be
), and make her feel like she is coming up with a solution she can live with. Basically discuss what the vet said, what information you have found on the net, and "guide" her to coming to the solution you want.

Hope this helps!
 

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I tell you what Lori,
If someone admitted to hurting my cats, that'd be the last time they ever did anything with their hands! My S/O's friends know that the cats come first in this house, they come second. you need to look for another place to live if this "roommate" is hurting your cat. i agree with your vet, it is probably the stress of your "roommate" hitting her that is causing her to do these things. I know money is a big thing, but I think it's best for you and your cat if you get out of there, before something worse happens.
 
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lori42

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I'm totally amazed by all the response from everyone! I wasn't expecting so much to read! It's nice though, cause sometimes the hour I sit here for lunch can be kinda dull. Anyway, I did speak to my roommate about everything last night. Let me first give a description of my roommate. She is a "Wo is me" but thinks she's not selfish, "can't do any of the housework and if she cleans up her mess, she has somehow done you a favor and you owe her", "I'll be mean to everyone and then when it's really important to be nice, I'll pretend like I'm always that way", "I have an education and even though you do to, mine is better and therefore, I'm better than you, even if I don't make more money", "I'll spend all the money I can as fast as I can and when the bills come, daddy will pay them", "No matter the circumstances, I must be heard, even if that means yelling at my friend who's mother just passed away because she's not spending enough time with me", type of person. There is no sentence in the human language with the words wrong and her name in them...at least according to her. You know that nightmare you had last night...she was probably the lead roll.

Anyway, having said all that, I did speak to her last night. Although she was pretty much disinterested and insisted, there is no way it is her fault or her cats faults. She didn't see my cat do it and is just assuming her cats are perfectly healthy and therefore, it can't be hers. What she doesn't seem to understand is that the vet needs a urine sample to see if they have a urinary tract problem...and no matter how much he looks at her fur, her ears and tests her blood...he won't know. Anyway, she insists she won't have her cats checked and that is not her. But when I told her about the pherimone stuff, she insisted that I drench her entire room with it even though the room the cat is peeing in is the laundry room in the basement.

SIGH. If I could move, I'd have been gone before the end of the first week. I only moved in with her cause she needed a roommate and she was wanting someone to help her get out of a not very good relationship. Only she's still in the relationship and more involved now than she was before.

I'll try talking to her again, but I'm not sure how much good it will do. I suppose it can't hurt. She's just not the type of person to hear what people are saying...rather she hears what she wants to and tells you what she thinks you need to hear.

Any advice for what I should do for my kitty?
 

gayef

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Lori,

Bummer about the roommate ... I know the type.

As far as what to do for kitty - all I can say is it is up to you to protect her in any way that you possibly can. I know that doesn't give you any easy answers, but I'm afraid that in the current circumstances, there are no easy answers.

I know this is a challenge, but you must try to protect kitty as best as you can, not only for your cat, but also for yourself.

Best of luck,

Gaye
 

hissy

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First of all, her suggestion that you saturate her room with feliway spray is hogwash! Tell her the stuff is expensive and as you don't have deep pockets, you feel that bathing her bedroom in this stuff would quickly deplete your finances. It is a shame that with all of Daddy's money that she has, she won't invest the time and expense to take her cats to the vet for a check for UTI. Unchecked, it can lead to some serious consequences, and even death.
But as they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.

As far as the spray goes, just take a cloth and spray some on it, and present this cloth to your kitty. I will destress her when she smells it. You can also spray her favorite toy, or her sleeping place, and even take the cloth and rub it on her in places where she cannot lick herself, like her neck and top of her head. But, if roomies cat or cats are ill and the peeing continues, it sounds like your cat will be blamed for it even if you put a diaper on her. I feel for you in this situation. I had a bad roomate when I first moved out of the house and she was such a slob, I knew when I finally got rid of her, I would never have another roomate as long as I lived. But, she was nice to my cats even if she did tend to overfeed them.

Good luck
 

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Lori42- Do you have your own room with lock? If so, you can put your cat in the room and leave her there with food, water, litterbox, and toys. Lock the door and don't give the key to anyone. I do it with my cat. When I am not there, he is in my room until I get home. That way, she can't hurt her and blame her for peeing on her clothes.
 
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lori42

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I have a lock but no key. And even if I were to lock the door, it's one that can easily be picked....so that wouldn't work.

I let Sugar run free around the house, so she has lots of places to go play. Her litterbox is off by itself away from the other cats. Also, we have three boxes, so there are plenty of places to go. She seems to feel better today, I think because she is thinking I saved her from the big bad vet. Hehehe...there is a good side to the vet.

Anyway, I'll try what you suggested, and hopefully, there won't be any more problems.

Thanks!
 

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I am so sorry about your predicament. I still would try and find someone else to live with if at all possible. there HAS to be someone that loves cats that needs a roommate. The lock thing, I'd change the lock you have now and put another one in it's place. It isn't hard to do, and locks aren't that expensive. You're roommate sounds like my old one. She was tossed out of her moms house and she had a child so I (stupidly) let her move in with me. What a mistake. She took my rent money, ate my food, ran up my bills, had s*x in MY bed when I was gone,and never bothered to give me any money torward the things she ran up or to rent. Finally i told her to get the h**l out or things were going to get ugly. I didnt' care where she went as long as it was not my apt. thankfully I had no pets at the time. I wouldn't have trusted her with them at all.She was a woe is me person too. I'd seriously think about getting out of there. there is always a way. Can't your parents loan you some money? or friends? there HAS to be a way to get away from that sicko. when you do, I'd think about getting her cats out too. they aren't safe either from the way you talk. please, find a way out for you and your cat. either that or change the lock in your room,and lock your cat up so she isn't subjected to the horrors of your roommate.
 
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lori42

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She isn't mean to her cats...just mine. In her opinion, her's are perfect. Although her cats are VERY naughty! They get in the cabinets and pull dishes out, get in cereal boxes that are in the cupboards, and worst...one of them likes to get in the bathroom counters and she eats pads! (Yes, new ones! The other would be just ewey!)

One of her cats used to be a lab cat at KSU and she saved it. I thought that was really sweet although it has weird tattooed numbers in it's ears. Anyway, the cat doesn't have the best health due to that and throws up a lot.

Anyway, my kitty seems to be doing better. I keep her in my room a lot so that she's not around my roommate. I think that's what is stressing her out. She is always encouraging her cats to fight with mine. But my kitty is a sweetie! She even bathes the other cats. I think that's cute.
 
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