My husband is being a #&*%^%$^&$&%^

yosemite

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Sounds to me like he's needing a little more attention. I think men need to feel loved by their spouses as much as we ladies need to be told and made to feel loved.

Just remember the old adage that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar and give him some sweet attention.
 

goosehazel

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Originally Posted by minxie

Husbands have an unfortunate habit of acting like kids at times. Some don't understand that as a woman, you are giving yourself constantly to your children, pets, family or other interests. However, his behaviour could be his way of saying "I need you" or "something's wrong". I would listen to that signal.

Perhaps devoting a few hours to him.....run him a nice bubble bath, massage, dinner and lots of sweet talk. When he's in a good mood from that, you just say (whilst stroking his hair) "Darling, you know I love you more than anything". And if he is really responding, you could try "Studmuffin, you will take me to the pet store tomorrow, if you have enough energy left?" (wink).

I am sighing here in disbelief at the lengths us women have to go to to make things work lol! But I've learned, if the man is kept sweet...life is good....I get flowers and bags of cat litter.


Good luck!
Couldn't of said it better myself. Try having a new baby and trying to get into a new routine as a stay-at-home mom and having your husband come home and tell you the house looks like a ****hole. Gee really? I've only been taking care of your son all day. They (men) don't get it at all. But I also found out that work was bothering him and that is why he was nitpicking at me. I would definitely explore this further. Did any of that make sense?
 

katachtig

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He sounds like the stress is getting to him. He could also be experiencing depression. Here is one site I found about men and depression: http://www.healthyplace.com/communit...sion/men_2.asp. One symptom is lashing out. Is there a possibility you can get him to go to a physician? The physician might be able to extract what is really going on and advise. I sense that something more is going on and that it is totally unrelated to what he is complaining about.
 

jugen

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My husband doesn't think that I love my kitties more then him. ( little does he know snicker snicker!) He knows that I love the kitties and him differently. Like everyone said, my kitties depend on me for everything, and I hold up my end of that deal. (so does Brad.) He will never tell me something like that. He knows that the cats are a huge part of my life. They come before anything and I worry about them like a mother worries about her kids. I love Brad with all my heart and he knows this too. He is the greatest thing to happen in my life and I'd be lost without him. Our relationship is a give and take. But in all honesty he can be a down right poopface too and so can I when we get burned out and stressed, but it all works itself out.
Your hubby sounds tired and cranky. Give him some lovin and pamperin and I think he might get better. Maybe he feels left out of the circle.
 

pandybear

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i also think you need to talk to him because nothing can be sorted out unless you do that, ask him if he's stressed at work or if there is something else bothering him, maybe plan a relaxing night together (if possible) and have a romatic dinner or even a massage and when he's relaxed bring the subject up carefully.

sometimes men just need a little TLC, especially when they are stressed, men don't usually show they are upset and unlike us, the don't talk about it, instead, they get moody.

when Jeff has had a hard day at work and is in a mood i do things i know he enjoys, not always garanteed to work but sure worth a try


goodluck
 

rosiemac

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From what you've said about him he certainly sounds to have big insecurity problems


Like the others have said maybe he needs some more attention as well, and if all else fails well you've tried and at least you still have a friend in your cats
 

minxie

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Something to make you
....


Why Cats Are Better Than Men


A cat always hits the litterbox.

You have a better chance of training a cat.

You never have to spend time with your cat's mother.

If you ask enough times, a cat may actually LISTEN to you.

You can de-claw a cat.....try to get a guy to clip his toenails.

It's okay if a cat rubs up against your best friend.

A cat knows you're the key to his happiness....a man thinks He is.
 

trouts mom

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I totally know what you're going through. My BF is the same way. He thinks I love the cat more than him..to me that seems like a childish way to think. Like he is looking for attention because he feels sorry for himself. It's very frustrating to me...like everyone else said it is a different kind of love.

Cats will never lie to us, betray us, fight with us or cause us pain on purpose...men can do all these things.

I am not sure what you can do other than talk to your husband to see what the real problem is. There is something underlying for sure.

Good luck with it...when my bf says stupid things like that its hard for me to talk to him calmly because its ridiculous and I can't hold my temper down sometimes. But good luck to you.
 
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catloverin_ks

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Well we got to talk a little last night(of course on the phone, cause he was working) but guess its better than nothing. He is just the type to just let things stir inside of him and then one day he finally explodes-and thats what has happened. He just says that the DOGS are tearing too much stuff up(its not really the cats I guess, all though he says I do have too many)
Anyhoo-he swears to me thats all that is wrong with him, and he understands that I love animals and have a heart and cant turn one away, but he really wishes the dogs could be "re homed". I just dont know how I could do that-they are my pets, ya know! Ugghh......
 

luckygirl

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Originally Posted by chichismom

I agree with Miss Mew, I think the new hours, are probably leaving him stressed, tired etc... and I'm sorry, men just cannot handle stress! I think he is taking it out on you in a way, to get some attention. I would try to talk to him when he seems in an ok mood ( so yelling does'nt occur
) and see whats behing this sudden "problem" I bet it boils down to being stressed or tired. Since you are on different schedules, has there been any um.... bedroom activities? If not then, that would be his problem
I guarentee
Ok...I'll try to keep this PG. I totally agree with chichismom. Men get stressed out, worried, depressed, and they can't just say "I'm stressed out". My husband works till 10 at night sometimes, and starts about 6:30 am. And I am either asleep,
or ready for bed, and not in "romance"
mode if you get my drift. He doesn't need all the quality time and affection before "bedroom time" like I do, so he's ready for action when he gets home. And I need some QT before anything... So after a few days he'll start to be a jerk, and I'm thinking "UGH! why is he picking on me?!" Then it hits me
"oooooh, it's been a few days..." I'm sure he has this built up over production of testosterone... I make sure I'm awake for "bedroom time"
and he's my wonderful husband again the next day!
 
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catloverin_ks

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Originally Posted by LuckyGirl

Ok...I'll try to keep this PG. I totally agree with chichismom. Men get stressed out, worried, depressed, and they can't just say "I'm stressed out". My husband works till 10 at night sometimes, and starts about 6:30 am. And I am either asleep,
or ready for bed, and not in "romance"
mode if you get my drift. He doesn't need all the quality time and affection before "bedroom time" like I do, so he's ready for action when he gets home. And I need some QT before anything... So after a few days he'll start to be a jerk, and I'm thinking "UGH! why is he picking on me?!" Then it hits me
"oooooh, it's been a few days..." I'm sure he has this built up over production of testosterone... I make sure I'm awake for "bedroom time"
and he's my wonderful husband again the next day!
HAHA!! That was pretty PG
IF we had time for anything, I would be glad to make some *time*, but when he does this night shift, we just dont see each other, and with a 2 y/o, its really hard to fit into the schedule.
 

minxie

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Originally Posted by LuckyGirl

Ok...I'll try to keep this PG. I totally agree with chichismom. Men get stressed out, worried, depressed, and they can't just say "I'm stressed out". My husband works till 10 at night sometimes, and starts about 6:30 am. And I am either asleep,
or ready for bed, and not in "romance"
mode if you get my drift. He doesn't need all the quality time and affection before "bedroom time" like I do, so he's ready for action when he gets home. And I need some QT before anything... So after a few days he'll start to be a jerk, and I'm thinking "UGH! why is he picking on me?!" Then it hits me
"oooooh, it's been a few days..." I'm sure he has this built up over production of testosterone... I make sure I'm awake for "bedroom time"
and he's my wonderful husband again the next day!
That was SO well written lol. The smileys added a nice touch lol....
 
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