My husband is being a #&*%^%$^&$&%^

catloverin_ks

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Sorry, bit of a RANT here!!
My hubby has done nothing but complain and gripe at me all week about my animals!!!!!! And Im about to lose my mind. I dont know whats come over him but we are in a huge fight over this. He keeps asking me if I love my animals more than him...what the heck?? Hes never been a big animal lover but I dunno what to think. He also made some comment like "if the house was to fall down around us, you would be FINE if as long as you had your animals"
Why is he acting like this?? I mean we havent seen much of each other all week, because hes working nights(Mon-Sat) so he just sleeps most the day until I wake him up. Then all he does is b****.........I dont know what to do guys!! HELP ME!!!!!
 

touro1979

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I think its best to be honest and explain to him that, Yes, I do love the animals more then you.
At least he will know where he stands.
 
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catloverin_ks

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Originally Posted by touro1979

I think its best to be honest and explain to him that, Yes, I do love the animals more then you.
At least he will know where he stands.
HAHA!!!
yeah that would go over like a turd in a punch bowl!!
 

miss mew

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It sounds like he's just jealous. Maybe he's overworked and overreacting.
 

touro1979

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Originally Posted by catloverin_ks

HAHA!!!
yeah that would go over like a turd in a punch bowl!!
Great saying!

seriously though, If I had a wife and she ever tried to pull that crap I would put a stop to it right away and tell her where the door is. My cats are like my children and It is quite common to love your children more then your spouse so although it sounds bad, it actually isnt that bad.
 

gingersmom

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Objective opinion here: If he was your BF I'd say it sounds to me like he's looking for a reason for you to get mad at him so you'll break up with him.

In my personal experience, when men start picking at you like that, it's because they're unhappy in the relationship but are too much of a coward to actually tell you what the real problem is.

I'd ask him straight up - what is REALLY bothering you?

I'm so sorry that you're feeling such angst - remember that your pets love you unconditionally!!!
 

chichismom

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I agree with Miss Mew, I think the new hours, are probably leaving him stressed, tired etc... and I'm sorry, men just cannot handle stress! I think he is taking it out on you in a way, to get some attention. I would try to talk to him when he seems in an ok mood ( so yelling does'nt occur
) and see whats behing this sudden "problem" I bet it boils down to being stressed or tired. Since you are on different schedules, has there been any um.... bedroom activities? If not then, that would be his problem
I guarentee
 

valanhb

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Just explain to him that it's not that you love them more than him - it's a completely different kind of love entirely! They are dependent on you for everything - food, water, love, protection. He, on the other hand, is a grown man who can care for himself for the basic needs. He is an equal to you, while they are dependents, like children.
 
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catloverin_ks

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Originally Posted by chichismom

I agree with Miss Mew, I think the new hours, are probably leaving him stressed, tired etc... and I'm sorry, men just cannot handle stress! I think he is taking it out on you in a way, to get some attention. I would try to talk to him when he seems in an ok mood ( so yelling does'nt occur
) and see whats behing this sudden "problem" I bet it boils down to being stressed or tired. Since you are on different schedules, has there been any um.... bedroom activities? If not then, that would be his problem
I guarentee
Well no-nothing in the bedroom lately
And Im sure he probly is tired and stressed but gee whiz! Its just getting old!!
 
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catloverin_ks

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Originally Posted by valanhb

Just explain to him that it's not that you love them more than him - it's a completely different kind of love entirely! They are dependent on you for everything - food, water, love, protection. He, on the other hand, is a grown man who can care for himself for the basic needs. He is an equal to you, while they are dependents, like children.
Wow-that was well said and I totally agree with you.
 

squirtle

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I also agree that the hours are probably getting to him. Is this a recent change to the night shift? If it were me I would try to arrange something extra special for him to show that he is loved and cared for
Guys need that sometimes just like we do.

I would have a completely different opinion if he were doing anything to cause harm to the animals, or if this behavior continued to the point you felt like you were being verbally or emotionally abused. But from you post I think he sounds run down and grumpy
 

sims2fan

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Originally Posted by valanhb

Just explain to him that it's not that you love them more than him - it's a completely different kind of love entirely! They are dependent on you for everything - food, water, love, protection. He, on the other hand, is a grown man who can care for himself for the basic needs. He is an equal to you, while they are dependents, like children.
Wow great answer! He sounds like he is insecure maybe you guys should talk about how you both have been feeling lately. Maybe ask him how he is doing, how is work, etc
 
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catloverin_ks

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OMGoodness! Now he just says to me" you love that computer more than you do me"
What in the world guys!?!>?!
 

jeanor

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I'm with ya sister!

Maybe it's something in the air. My husband decided to say something to me about the pets that he knew would get me ruffled. At first I just left the room without saying anything, then when he came downstairs after I had thought about it, I kinda let him have it and told him he needed to apologize. That night he stopped on the way home and brought home dinner and all of my favorite snacks.

He's never been a pet lover, but understands that I am - I'd say he mostly tolerates the pets (he will let them lay on his lap etc, but wouldn't pet them). His beef is we have a brand new house which we kinda agreed no inside pets... well, now we have 1 dog and 1 cat inside and the other two in/out. I finally told him that I work overtime trying to keep the animals nails clipped, hair swept/vacuumed, litter clean and non-smelling and that it's my house too, not just his!

He used to pull the "you pay more attention to them" but he doesn't do that anymore. I agree.. there is an underlying problem going on.
 
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catloverin_ks

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Originally Posted by jeanor

I'm with ya sister!

Maybe it's something in the air. My husband decided to say something to me about the pets that he knew would get me ruffled. At first I just left the room without saying anything, then when he came downstairs after I had thought about it, I kinda let him have it and told him he needed to apologize. That night he stopped on the way home and brought home dinner and all of my favorite snacks.

He's never been a pet lover, but understands that I am - I'd say he mostly tolerates the pets (he will let them lay on his lap etc, but wouldn't pet them). His beef is we have a brand new house which we kinda agreed no inside pets... well, now we have 1 dog and 1 cat inside and the other two in/out. I finally told him that I work overtime trying to keep the animals nails clipped, hair swept/vacuumed, litter clean and non-smelling and that it's my house too, not just his!

He used to pull the "you pay more attention to them" but he doesn't do that anymore. I agree.. there is an underlying problem going on.
Oh my!! He totally sounds like my DH!! But mine wont even allow them to lay on him
And yes, he only "tolerates" my animals and I guess he has just finally had enough he said. I do know though that he is upset(and I am too) that we put a new screen door on, not even a month ago and the dogs have already RIPPED it!! And he also totally re did our kitchen/dining room(new flooring and everything) and we got our pups shortly after and pf course they werent potty trained and would have tinkle accidents and now thats all he says you can smell, is pee!! But I beg to differ-its not either! If that were the case other people would tell me so(trust me, they would!) I keep my house very clean, candles burning, air fresheners, etc! I know that the upstairs has a smell because the cats used to pee up there-but I steam cleaned it and also use carpet fresh!! Ughh....sorry to keep rambling!!
 

fwan

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i hope it works out soon.

You know if i look back now, GingersMom just said what my ex did.
 

catsrmykids

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Originally Posted by GingersMom

In my personal experience, when men start picking at you like that, it's because they're unhappy in the relationship but are too much of a coward to actually tell you what the real problem is.

I'd ask him straight up - what is REALLY bothering you?
I don't know about being unhappy in the relationship, but I do think something else is bothering him.....maybe he just hates working night shift..... maybe he is having problems at work.......maybe is isn't getting enough sleep, etc.

I think it is important to let him know you have enough love in your heart for him and the pets.
Men are just like little kids and sometimes need reassurance that you still love them.
 

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Husbands have an unfortunate habit of acting like kids at times. Some don't understand that as a woman, you are giving yourself constantly to your children, pets, family or other interests. However, his behaviour could be his way of saying "I need you" or "something's wrong". I would listen to that signal.

Perhaps devoting a few hours to him.....run him a nice bubble bath, massage, dinner and lots of sweet talk. When he's in a good mood from that, you just say (whilst stroking his hair) "Darling, you know I love you more than anything". And if he is really responding, you could try "Studmuffin, you will take me to the pet store tomorrow, if you have enough energy left?" (wink).

I am sighing here in disbelief at the lengths us women have to go to to make things work lol! But I've learned, if the man is kept sweet...life is good....I get flowers and bags of cat litter.


Good luck!
 
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