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I hate doing this

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Today is another day I wish I never had to go through. I wll probably have to take my little buddy BearBear to the first step of the bridge today. BearBear is our 16 yr old chocolate point Siamese. He has rapidly lost weight and has retreated to a quiet place away from the rest of our ten furry little housemates. Bear and his "brother" Baby and I became fast friends about 7 yrs ago when my girlfriend and I moved in together. She had four cats then and we have been home and parents to 13 at one time.

We believe that there is a sign only critters can read at the end of our cul de sac that says "Go to the big yellow house for food, scratching, warmth, fun, and lots of love and psssst tell all the others!!" Over the last few years we have had an abused and neglected Rottweiler find us, a severly injured (from abuse) pit bull, an oh-so-pregnant mommy kitty, two horses and several pooches of various pedigrees find their way to our door. Even our neihbors help critters find us if they haven't learned to read "critterspeak"

I have always loved animals of all types but never had too much experience with cats untill I met my girlfriend. She converted me. Since that conversion I have even helped to midwife our current brood of mischief-makers in my office.

Now sadly, one of our original oldest ones is getting ready for that quick trip across the bridge and I am sure you all know the the pain I am facing in holding him as he slips quietly away. I have held each one of our babies as they made the journey and although it is so extremely hard, I cannot imagine them not feeling the warmth and security of daddy as they went to the next place to continue the fun.

I never realized how much fun these little guys are and how different their personalities can be. BearBear's adopted brother Baby was the first one I bonded with and we were inseparable. I run a small electronics shop as a small biz in my garage and come into the house via a door into the kitchen several times a day. Baby, (BearBear's brother) would sit on the counter and every single time I came in, he would get up walk over to the edge and we would have a "mind meld" (long head butt) for a few minutes. He would sleep curled up on my back if I took a nap on the couch. The most amazing thing to see was him squeezing between me and the back of the couch as I slept so he could rest his head and paw on my cheek. He would sleep between us in bed, and sit on the nightstand waiting patiently until we put a cup of ice water there for us, uh-- him.

Baby and BearBear were inseparable and when we introduced the rescued Rotty, they both loved her. We were blessed with another stray dog - Ricochet- that limped down the street one evening with a broken front leg. After healing, he was everywhere at once and watched over his big sister (the Rotty- Sierra) and all the kitties. The cats all loved the dogs and slept on or with each other.

When Baby was getting so old and weak and could no longer jump up on the fridge to hide in the cabinets above the fridge, we knew the time was coming. BearBear sensed this too and they were inseparable and would both want to sit on us or sleep with us all the time. They would both curl up against Sierra so her great size and warmth would be comforting and just sleep with her if we were not available.

When I finally decided that Baby was too tired and sore to keep fighting, I found a wonderful sweet vet who has a heart of gold. She took us into a quiet room and after the usual signatures asked me if I was ready and I said yes. Baby just looked up at me as I hugged him gently and told him how much we loved him and thanked him for giving us so much over the years and I firmly believe with all my heart he said "Thanks dad, I love you." He slowly laid his huge head down and drifted out of this world to begin the journey to the next across that beautiful bridge. As he slipped away, the vet checked him to make sure his heart was still and then she gently put her hand on my shoulder and said "Take all the time you need" and left me alone with Baby in my arms as I said goodbye. As a favor to a friend down the street I have been there to help ease his old ball of fluff into the new world as he couldn't bear to say goodbye. I consider it a great honor to be entrusted with that responsibility by a friend. He also went with me when we had to let Sierra go as they loved each other too.

To those humans in the world who believe that animals are just creatures and have no souls I say this "you are so wrong and God Himself will tell you the same."

We have all been blessed with the same gene for loving litlle furry things and I cannot think of a greater honor than to be loved and accepted by them.

Later today I will give BearBear the pat on the bottom to start him on his way to catch up with Baby, Sierra, Buddy, Tigger, Risky, and the other wonderful little balls of fur and fun that have graced our lives. I cannot concieve of sitting in my recliner withoit him stretched out on my lap and talking to me. BearBear loves to talk and it will be so strange here not hearing him comment on everything going on. I haven't yet learned the cat-human translations but i know he has an opinion on everything.

All our little furry ones earthly remains are interred in our back yard in a little cemetary we have beneath that wonderful stone that reads" If tears could build a highway and memories a lane, I would walk right up to heaven and bring you home again"

I am sorry to have rambled on for so long but I know you all understand how important the gift of trust and love our critters give us is, and although it hard to type while crying, right now I just need to tell you all how great they are and to try to ease this pain by remembering them and being so grateful to God for allowing us to be part of their lives.

Always remember that God has trusted you with a very precious and delicate gift- not everyone is so blessed.

Take care all and give them a hug for me.

post #2 of 8
Been there too, can offer nothing but condolences.
post #3 of 8
I'm so very sorry for your loss of BearBear

Rest assured if this is the day you have to say goodbye, your little boy will be met at the other end of Rainbow Bridge by all the cats and kittens from TCS to welcome him to his new home and to play with him until he comes to meet you again

Only true cat lovers know how much of an impact they make to our lives, and your right we are blessed by them

Remember you don't have to go through this alone, this is what were all here for
post #4 of 8

I hope the love you have experienced over the years with your furr bearing soul mates conforts you at this time of loss.
God grants us all love and compassion for all his creatures. I am so glad to see another person such as yourself who is wise enough to see it.

I pray peace for you and your family during this time of loss.
post #5 of 8
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I have been in your shoes and I can feel your pain and sadness.I'm so sorry you are having to do this but it sounds like it is time.
post #6 of 8
Condolences to your family & you as you do what must be done. Your love for Bear-Bear will shine as a light over the trail to RB, and he will be greeted by Sierra & the rest of the crew. Godspeed, Bear-Bear.
post #7 of 8
Your post brought tears to my eye, and I was reading it at work! Your love for BearBear is beautiful. And you definitely need to stay at TheCatSite and tell us all about your other furries!

Deepest condolences on the loss of sweet BearBear. Rest in peace, big guy!
post #8 of 8

I will pray for you to get through this hard time in your life. Your story is very touching and I got tears in my eyes reading it. You can vent all you want and express your feelings here with us and we will understand your heartache more than others would.

RIP Little BearBear
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