What to do about Romeo, mean to the kitten

Romeo is my other neutered male, he is the son of Baby my mother cat of the house. As soon as I brought Lilly home (she has been here for almost 8 weeks now) he was the most aggressive with her, and I had to really watch him. The other cats warmed up to her in a few days, Baby (mother cat) took longer 2 weeks and Romeo continued to be aggressive but not so much, mostly because I was scolding him about it. I have gone out of my way to love and cuddle Romey up as much as he will let me, he isn't a lap cat, so he won't feel jealous or left out. The aggressive behavior continues, but Lilly is bigger now and she has been holding her own with him, Baby now gets after him as she has adopted Lilly and is nursing her. My Vet says that she is one of those really maternal cats and that is fine with him. I figure the abscess in her paw was from Romeo because she bunny kicks him to get away. Of course with her so sick I had her in my room and was keeping an eye on her.

Since she has been feeling better and today she has been up and around for the first time since Saturday, he is really mean to her. He has been attacking her all day. I don't get it, he and she nurse at the same time. Yes, he is a big fat baby and still will nurse from his Mommy sometimes, and his sister Dimples does too. The Vet said the same thing that she is a very maternal cat and that if she is healthy she will continue to lactate until she is spayed. Does anyone have any suggestions about how to deal with him being so mean to her. I have tried to get her to stop nursing her babies and it isn't going to happen. I kept them apart when those kittens were 6 months for 3 weeks, no luck, I put rubbing alcohol on her nipples, no luck, I removed them every time I caught them, no luck. I gave up and they eventually slowed down to once a day, or a couple times a day. So any ideas?

mmmm..... try spaying her? unless lilly needs the milk

Take a look why not try the Sock / sweater method

I think she should be spayed, too. Keep them separate for another week, and take her in to be spayed. The milk should be dried up enough to do the surgery. Once her hormones lessen, Romeo will be less upset.

And scolding a kitty for being aggressive isn't a good idea. Read through this forum for additional ideas in helping them get along better.

My scolding isn't much of a scolding I tell him he is being a bad boy. I don't believe in yelling at animals, they don't deserve to be yelled at, they function on there own set of rules. I kinda don't want to spay her, she is an indoor cat and the boys are done already, I am afraid she will loose that mothering way of hers. Her kittens still cuddle with her and she grooms them and they all sleep cuddled up together. She just adopted Lilly too, I hope that Romeo will chill out a little. He actually has been better the last couple of days, I think he was jealous because I had Lill in the room with me. The two of them were laying in the sun together and were licking each others faces nicely today. I am going to have to get her spayed at some point, I just love that Mamma Cat role she plays, she even tries to boss me around. If she catches me crying she gently bites my arm to tell me to stop it, if I don't she bites my eyebrow. She is a mom allright.

Just because your boys are neutered doesn't mean that they won't react to her when she goes into heat. Your boys may start fighting with each other simply because you have an unspayed female in your house. Cats live and die in the wild in response to mating urges and domestic cats carry that urge with them. They may not be able to impregnate, but they can still make the attempt.

She will not lose the mothering way if she is spayed, in fact she will probably calm down tremendously and be more loving if she no longer feels a need to populate the cat world. It is also more healthy for her in the long run. Unspayed cats can get diseases such as mammary cancer.