Male Cat Behavior - 2 Questions

Hey, all.
Here's the story. Last September, my fiance and I adopted two stray kittens from a shelter, one male and one female. The female loves to be loved, and she loves both me and my fiance. However, the male is always afraid of me. He loves my fiance, but always trots away from me whenever I approach him, which isn't often (he needs his space), or he'll let me pet him, but mostly only when my fiance is around him, too.
Is this normal? Do male cats tend to be more hesitant around males than female cats? Or could it be he had a bad experience with someone of my physicality when he was a stray? Or could it be both?
Also, he does this thing when he scratches his ears. He meows this weird little meow, but only when he is scratching his ears. We have both checked around in there, and everything seems fine. He lets us touch them and doesn't back away when we do. It just seems odd, is all.
We're taking them both to the vet next week, so maybe we'll find out.

Thanks for any advice and/or input.

- J.

Scatching of the ears usually means allergies. He might have an ear infection to, so they are itchy, yet it might hurt hence the meow. Ear scratching is almost always allergies or ear mites. Definitely needs a vet visit.

Is he neutered? If you don't know his past it could be that too...

My male cat is sorta weird like that as well!

He loves attention from males but is sorta hesitant with the female humans!
I've had him since he was a kitty but it's never changed...

Good luck with the vet visit though...I'm sure you'll get some answers.

Cats usually do scratch SOME. Its cats way of being. But excessive scratching should be checked yes.

Many cats are dare more with women than men. Sometimes it may be bad experiences yes.
The thing for you to do is to give him food - little but often. Best if during some period yor are almost sole with it. Of course, no raised hands, no raised voice. Blink slowly when you look at him, yawn sometimes, strech yourself - like friendly cats do...

I think you were lucky to get these ex-stray kittens.

Do tell this to everybody you meet, perhaps more people will dare to take such cats.

Ex semiferal shy cats does often become wonderful home-cats when they learn to trust their people...

Originally Posted by ChgoJCS

Is this normal? Do male cats tend to be more hesitant around males than female cats? Or could it be he had a bad experience with someone of my physicality when he was a stray? Or could it be both?
Also, he does this thing when he scratches his ears.

Click to expand...

The manner in which a cat reacts to humans depends on its personality and its early dealings or experiences with people.
He probably has ear mites, but the visit to the vet will quickly solve the problem.

Yep I agree it's a combo of personality & early experience. My Levi loves women, but tends to hide if a man comes over. The best way to build trust is be paitient & let him come to you when he's ready. If you force it he may become more afraid of you. He just needs more time to learn to trust you than the other cat. When it happens it will be well worth the wait.

Start feeding him...then he'll like you

Patches was that way with me (and she's female) when B and I first started dating. Now that I feed her, she's my buddy and will come to me for some attention.

In time I'm sure he'll grow to seek you out too!

Oliver is THE biggest mama's boy ever! He used to kick my ex-bf outa bed because I'm Oliver's mommy before I'm anyone's girlfriend (haha, but the cat will NOT dictate my social life! )... but I was the one to rescue Ollie from the streets so that could be part of it... he's a little more timid with my dad, but my dad likes to tease and antagonize so that's understandable - but he will come to my dad for pets and purrs too (my dad's a big guy too, so I'm sure he can be scary to a 15 pound cat!)... I would definitely try the feeding thing... if you're not around to feed him meals, you be the one to feed treats - Oliver sees the "cookie" sign from anyone and he'll come running (he knows a bit of sign language - not deaf though).... cats may also be able to sense the natural, instinctual maternal instinct of your fiance - hey, if animals can sense fear and nervousness, who knows what they can sense!

Cats tend to pick their favorite people and it sounds like the male has simply picked your finance. Our Stumpy absolutely adores my husband and we've had other males that have picked him to be their slave. I don't think its a male/male thing at all.

My cats were scared of guys for the longest time. I think it was because the only guy who was around often was the plumber, and he always had to run his shop vac and make lots of noise. Rowan (my little guy) is way closer to me than my fiancee, but Bella warmed up pretty quickly. We live with three of my fiancee's shipmates, and the two of them were terrified of the housemates for a good two months.

When I was showing my apartment, though, and when we have girls over at the house, they're all over them. Rubbing their ankles, purring, trying desperately to get picked up... it's just the way they are.