Grouchy cat... need advice desperately!

Heya, everyone. This is my first time posting on this site -- but from what I've read, everyone seems to be extremely experienced and helpful when it comes to our precious kitties. Anyway, I'll get right to my problem.

I have a cat named Gristle. She's about 2.5 years old. When she was a kitten, she was very, very playful. After she started to grow up, her unique personality began to show. I love Gristle to death... but she can be such a pain sometimes. I've been having behavioral problems with her ever since her adulthood... or teenage years, perhaps? I'm not sure what stage she's considered to be at right now, but I digress. Anyway, Gristle HATES people. Sometimes, she hates me, in fact. I'm the only one who can pet her or even get near her. She HATES my roommate (I've lived with him for over a year now) as well as any visitors that come over. She growls when people even look at her. We have another cat, Quincy, who's a little bit younger and so he's more playful. Sometimes they get along, sometimes they do not. That's not the biggest problem though -- my main concern is her lack of interaction with people. Like I said, I'm the only one who can pet her or get near her. She does not purr nor "rub" on me like other cats I've had have done. She's not at all affectionate. Just downright mean. Does anybody have any suggestions with why she's like this? I'm in college, so I manage to afford flea treatments for her, etc (she's strictly indoors, by the way), but I think I'm going to have to save up some money and take her to the vet. She's having a few physical problems as well, but I won't go into detail about them here since this is the behavior list.

If anyone has any suggestions on what I might try or what I need to do to help out my aggressive kitty, please let me know. I'll mention too that she doesn't ATTACK anyone... she only growls and swats a few times if anyone other than me comes near. But even when I, myself, pick her up, she growls...

Sorry for the long post. Hope somebody has some advice for me!

Thanks!

-Leslee

All cats have their individual personalities and some are more interactive than others. It sounds like Gristle is just one of those cats who doesn't need a lot of interaction and doesn't want to play the cute kitty game, particularly with strangers. The same with your other cat - not all cats get along with each other. I think you'll just have to accept that that's the way she is and not try to turn her into the cat you'd like her to be. It doesn't sound as though she has behavioural problems tbh so long as she's not being overtly aggressive.

However, you mention she has physical problems - those could very well be related to her behaviour, eg she might not want to be touched if she's in pain/uncomfortable. Especially if her behaviour has changed suddenly. You really do need to get her to a vet as soon as you can to sort out those and you can discuss with your vet whether her behaviour is a result of any illness.

If its not related to her physical problems she may just be an anxious cat. Have you tried feliway spray/diffuser? That may reduce her anxiety sufficiently for her to be more relaxed around people.

I think the first thing you need to do is take your cat to the vet. The second thing should be to buy some feliway spray and a diffuser in an attempt to help your cat be a bit less anxious around people and your other cat. If she remains aloof after that you will just have to accept that's her personality.

Primarily, physical/health issues need to be ruled out before you can discover if it's behavioural!

Your vet may allow you to work out a payment plan - or you could find one that does!

Once Gristle has been given a clean bill of health, you can concentrate on helping her to feel less anxious (as suggested, Feliway) You may also concider trying FeliFriend which will help your scent to be more familiar and aid in handling and interaction!

As said, you can't make a cat into something they're not!