Need a laugh? Read this!

white cat lover

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My sister sent me this e-mail. These people are smart!

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it."
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.


While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff"


I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific"


My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving.



My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk .



My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. . .


I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.



I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet? "



While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6."
 
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white cat lover

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I just read this one, too. It's also from my sister, about Minnesota girls. I have got to say, it's exactly right!

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Alabama, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Minnesota girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he couldn't see anything, the second day he couldn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.

Got to love them Minnesota girls
 

solaritybengals

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That first one reminded me of the yard sale we had. We had a bin full of those little mcdonalds happy meal toys for free. No one was taking them. A lady came up to us and told us if we put a 5cent sign on it we would sell a lot more. She was right
. Its a good tip for those who do yard sales, never put free on something! Of course we would also have been thrilled if they were *stolen*.

Another time I was talking to my friend. I was probably 10 or so and she was probably 8. I was telling her how I had pneumonia 3 times in 3 months when I was around 2 years old. She was engrossed in the story I was telling and she turned to me and asked "Oh wow, did you die?"
 
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white cat lover

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Originally Posted by SolarityBengals

That first one reminded me of the yard sale we had. We had a bin full of those little mcdonalds happy meal toys for free. No one was taking them. A lady came up to us and told us if we put a 5cent sign on it we would sell a lot more. She was right
. Its a good tip for those who do yard sales, never put free on something! Of course we would also have been thrilled if they were *stolen*.

Another time I was talking to my friend. I was probably 10 or so and she was probably 8. I was telling her how I had pneumonia 3 times in 3 months when I was around 2 years old. She was engrossed in the story I was telling and she turned to me and asked "Oh wow, did you die?"
So, are you like a walking zombie that has cats now?
 

solaritybengals

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Originally Posted by white cat lover

So, are you like a walking zombie that has cats now?
Hehe I guess so! I think I turned to her and said... "that dosen't make any sense, I'm hear talking to you." Another time the same girl, around the same age had her birthday and thought she was catching up to me in age.
 

kaleetha

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*sigh* I have a story... but I'm the stupid one.

My boyfriend and I were sitting at the park and he was telling me how the water in the streams have gone down since it got cold. I wasn't really thinking about this and said, why, cause water shrinks?
He's like "No, because it's not melting."

In my defense, I'd just taken a two hour long final. *laugh* Still, that was pretty dumb.
 
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