He Hates Me :(

My boyfriend and I got two cats a couple months ago, one was a female and one an intact male. Romeo the male has always been slightly skiddish but he will always come up to me and let me pet him.

Well last week I had made Romeo an appt. to get neutered. That morning I found an old cardboard cat carrier, so I went in Romeo's room and picked him up,placed him in the carrier and it all became sort of blurry after that. It was a struggle getting him in the box, and when i finally got him in he broke through. I was stressed and poor Romeo was stressed, we finally got him in though and got him neutered. He has been home for a week now and he absolutly hates me. I never had a problem getting him in a carrier before but before I had used an actual cat carrier, I think the cardboard one is what freaked him out. You should see my hand, it looks aweful.

If I walk in his room he hides, even if he is already kind of hidden in the closet, if he sees me he runs under the tv stand. When my boyfriend goes in Romeo comes up to him like he use to do with me.

Lastnight my boyfriend let Romeo hangout in the living room while I was sleeping. Romeo was resting on my boyfriends lap. I then woke up and came into the living room and Romeo jumps off hgis lap and tries to run back to his room, he was blocked by a dog so he came back to my boyfriend and looked at me and started howling. So I just went back to bed.

I hate this, I dont want him to hate me becuase of one thing I did, and I was only trying to do the right thing.

I do try to get Romeo to like me agian, I feed him Tuna every morning and thats the only time he doesnt run and hide from me.

I feel so bad but he had to be neutered.

How can I make him my friend agian? Giving him tuna doesnt work.

Thanks!

I say give him time Only been a week. Might have to just win the trust back..

I agree - give him time. Try not to force your affections on him - wait for him to approach you which I'm sure he will do eventually. Every time you try to go up to him he thinks you're going to bundle him in the carrier again. Try sitting with a bowl of his favourite food. Don't pay him any attention, just sit there and wait for him to approach you. If he does come up to you don't attempt to give him a lot of attention and don't make eye contact, just give him a piece of food. That way he'll gradually learn to associate you with nice things again.

Originally Posted by urbantigers

I agree - give him time. Try not to force your affections on him - wait for him to approach you which I'm sure he will do eventually. Every time you try to go up to him he thinks you're going to bundle him in the carrier again. Try sitting with a bowl of his favourite food. Don't pay him any attention, just sit there and wait for him to approach you. If he does come up to you don't attempt to give him a lot of attention and don't make eye contact, just give him a piece of food. That way he'll gradually learn to associate you with nice things again.

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Yes, just leave him be. Also, try to just sit in the room with him, maybe reading aloud, no eye contact. After he becomes more comfortable with you, try playing with him. Make sure that every time he's with you, it is positive and on his terms.

Thanks for the advice everyone, I just wanted to update.

I've been giving him wet food and treats in the morning, i try not to make eye contact with him.
Yesterday I went in his room and sat down indian style, I didnt look at him, just talked softly and he came in my lap and laid down for like 15 mintues! I was petting him the whole time and he really enjoyed it. I think it is safe to say that he likes me agian! Im so happy!

Thanks agian!

Aww - so glad your kitty loves you again!

Next time you try to get him into a carrier make sure it is backed against a wall on a table. Then holding him by his hind quarters. get him in backwards (not facing the carrier), and you should have an easier time. Make sure there are no smells of other animals in there from before. Do everything as quickly and quietly as possible. Wear heavy long gloves and sleeves.

I'm so glad to hear the good news. Keep spoiling him for awhile and you'll be just fine. They definitely know how to do the guilt trips.

Originally Posted by Larke

Next time you try to get him into a carrier make sure it is backed against a wall on a table. Then holding him by his hind quarters. get him in backwards (not facing the carrier), and you should have an easier time. Make sure there are no smells of other animals in there from before. Do everything as quickly and quietly as possible. Wear heavy long gloves and sleeves.

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Yes, I agree putting in Kitty backwards is MUCH easier. Justa suggestions, Jackson and I travel back and forth often as e visit my moms every weekend, So i felt that gettin a good carrier was VERY important as he would be spending alot of time in there. I actaully bought one that folds open on the top, So I just plop Jackson in there and close it up, he enjoys it, and it is not painful or stressful when we go on car rides....

Just a suggestion!

J&J

You're lucky! All my cats make it impossible to 'plop' them in open-top boxes - all 4 feet go different ways except in, and the open-end ones are much easier (backwards of course).

Just a little trick I learned...Tilt the carrier upwards (if it's a front loader) and lift him in, back feet first and then the rest of him, then tilt the carrier back flat down slowly. This took a lot of stress of my boys when I do it this way, and there's less of a chance of them running out!