Well, I feel I must post to express my feelings. My hooman is a total slob. I cannot live here any longer, and must find a new home!
Let me introduce myself. I am Festus Marie, the primary kitty in my home. I live with Garfield, who is a big goof, but I love him! And Jasmine, who is a little pesky teenage kitty...but mostly she is fun to chase crinkle balls with.
Things have always been a little chaotic here, but usually it is fine...more piles of laundry for me to burrow into and nap. But now, the bathroom is WICKED! Let me explain...
I suppose it started a few days ago when Meowmie lured us all into the bathroom with promises of treats. Once we got in there, she started talking about worms, and grabbed me and shoved a nasty yellow pill in my mouth, and held my mouth shut until I had to swallow it! She repeated this with Gar and Jazz...I swear I think she may have been trying to poison us! I know it sounds crazy, but it really upset our tummies.
Then she left us shut in that bathroom for hours...I feared I might starve to death!!! I mean, one little bowl of water, when I hadn't had any food all night...it almost makes me cry again just to think of the cruelty!
Then we finally got out, and of course Garfield pigged down the kibble, and promptly vomitted it on the living room carpet. He is so crude sometimes! He kept whining about having a sensitive stomach because he had distemper as a kitten. I told him, that was a year and a half ago! Stop being such a pig!
Meowmie did clean that up, thankfully. It was just vile!
But then, and this is rather embarrassing, but my stomach was just not right. I believe it goes back to the vile poisonous pill that wicked woman gave to us....I just did not feel right. And I had to...you know...use the litterbox QUICKLY! I know there are many litterboxes, but I'm sure you understand how sometimes you just need to use a certain one. Well...of course, someone else had already poopied there, so I had to dig and dig and dig, trying to find the right spot.
Finally, I went, but due to the POISON it was diarrhea, and went on the side of the litter box. Have you ever tried to bury something like that?!? It ended up on my paw! So vile and disgusting. And as I kept trying to bury it...just needing it to be GONE...ugh! Of course, that litterbox is right beside the human potty...and as I buried, I may have wiped some poo on the human pot. By this time I was so grossed out I just started digging and digging....honestly, I just wanted the smell to be gone.
But when I looked at the mess! Poo on the litterbox sides, poo on the potty, even some poo on the wall! And yes, a few tiny pieces of poo on the litter mat.
Now I ask you, what kind of hooman would live like that!?! She did not even see the filth until the next morning, then started mumbling about poo and sweeping and wiping everything down with little bleach smelling wipes. But it is too late for me. I cannot and will not live in such a filthy home.
Is there anyone who can save me?!? I am a very fastidious kitty, and just cannot tolerate this awful hooman any more!
Signed, Festus Marie.
Let me introduce myself. I am Festus Marie, the primary kitty in my home. I live with Garfield, who is a big goof, but I love him! And Jasmine, who is a little pesky teenage kitty...but mostly she is fun to chase crinkle balls with.
Things have always been a little chaotic here, but usually it is fine...more piles of laundry for me to burrow into and nap. But now, the bathroom is WICKED! Let me explain...
I suppose it started a few days ago when Meowmie lured us all into the bathroom with promises of treats. Once we got in there, she started talking about worms, and grabbed me and shoved a nasty yellow pill in my mouth, and held my mouth shut until I had to swallow it! She repeated this with Gar and Jazz...I swear I think she may have been trying to poison us! I know it sounds crazy, but it really upset our tummies.
Then she left us shut in that bathroom for hours...I feared I might starve to death!!! I mean, one little bowl of water, when I hadn't had any food all night...it almost makes me cry again just to think of the cruelty!
Then we finally got out, and of course Garfield pigged down the kibble, and promptly vomitted it on the living room carpet. He is so crude sometimes! He kept whining about having a sensitive stomach because he had distemper as a kitten. I told him, that was a year and a half ago! Stop being such a pig!
Meowmie did clean that up, thankfully. It was just vile!
But then, and this is rather embarrassing, but my stomach was just not right. I believe it goes back to the vile poisonous pill that wicked woman gave to us....I just did not feel right. And I had to...you know...use the litterbox QUICKLY! I know there are many litterboxes, but I'm sure you understand how sometimes you just need to use a certain one. Well...of course, someone else had already poopied there, so I had to dig and dig and dig, trying to find the right spot.
Finally, I went, but due to the POISON it was diarrhea, and went on the side of the litter box. Have you ever tried to bury something like that?!? It ended up on my paw! So vile and disgusting. And as I kept trying to bury it...just needing it to be GONE...ugh! Of course, that litterbox is right beside the human potty...and as I buried, I may have wiped some poo on the human pot. By this time I was so grossed out I just started digging and digging....honestly, I just wanted the smell to be gone.
But when I looked at the mess! Poo on the litterbox sides, poo on the potty, even some poo on the wall! And yes, a few tiny pieces of poo on the litter mat.
Now I ask you, what kind of hooman would live like that!?! She did not even see the filth until the next morning, then started mumbling about poo and sweeping and wiping everything down with little bleach smelling wipes. But it is too late for me. I cannot and will not live in such a filthy home.
Is there anyone who can save me?!? I am a very fastidious kitty, and just cannot tolerate this awful hooman any more!
Signed, Festus Marie.
