That, or use fishing net. Is your window frame wood? You could tack fishing net in.
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more issues with the cat-hating roommate
- Thread starter abnihon
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- #22
I liked the girl I met with tonight and she has a great apt in a great location (more money than I spend here, but I can afford it).
She has a playful, friendly male tabby cat. I have a playful, friendly female Japanese bobtail. Any way to predict if they'd get along?
I broke the news to my roommate tonight and she's pissed off and turning into this big emotional "you hate me" thing. I DO still want to be friends with her, but I also think she's stubborn and selfish and doesn't like my cat and is difficult to live with because of those reasons.
Now that I'm threatening to move out she's saying "I do like your cat!" and that getting a screen for the window and a latch for her closet door will solve all our problems. And trying to convince me that she's being reasonable and I'm not.
But I still feel like there'll be tension surrounding the cat and a new issue will arise.
I don't know what to do! I worry that if I move out we'll lose the friendship and we've been friends for 10 years.
But do I honestly want to be best friends with someone who's so insensitive about something so important to me?
She actually says things like "I'm more important than your cat" and "your cat isn't like a child!" not understanding that to me she is.
She has a playful, friendly male tabby cat. I have a playful, friendly female Japanese bobtail. Any way to predict if they'd get along?
I broke the news to my roommate tonight and she's pissed off and turning into this big emotional "you hate me" thing. I DO still want to be friends with her, but I also think she's stubborn and selfish and doesn't like my cat and is difficult to live with because of those reasons.
Now that I'm threatening to move out she's saying "I do like your cat!" and that getting a screen for the window and a latch for her closet door will solve all our problems. And trying to convince me that she's being reasonable and I'm not.
But I still feel like there'll be tension surrounding the cat and a new issue will arise.
I don't know what to do! I worry that if I move out we'll lose the friendship and we've been friends for 10 years.
But do I honestly want to be best friends with someone who's so insensitive about something so important to me?
She actually says things like "I'm more important than your cat" and "your cat isn't like a child!" not understanding that to me she is.
Maybe it is time to just move on....
Comments like that would make it easy for me to decide. Some one who tells me "I am more imp. than your cat" or "Your cat isn't like a child" obviously doesn't know me that well, which is even worse after a ten year friendship. Her insensitivity and disregard would seal the deal for me! Good luck on your potential move!
Couldn't have said it better myself.
I do understand that we're just getting your side of the story, but from your first post to this tells me a lot about your friend/roommate. She sounds a bit unstable and probably will hurt you more if you stay. If she truely was YOUR FRIEND, this stuff would have never come up in the first place. You two would have great communication and be able to sit down with this like two rational adults. If you can and she can't (especially if she wants you to put her ahead of something you love - that's not how love works) then it is time to walk away and cool your heels. Maybe in time you two will be friends again, just friends that can't live with each other.
However, she sounds a little like she needs to be the focus of your attention and will do so even if it means letting your cat run out the window. Plus to make you choose between her and your cat? Thats not right.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #27
During our fight tonight she actually said "if you had to throw me or the cat out the window who would you pick?"
A totally bizarre question that I refused to answer.
But I did say that I'd be equally upset if either of them died. Which she thought was ridiculous of course. She thinks she should be significantly more important to me just because she's human and Miko's a cat. She just doesn't get it!!
A totally bizarre question that I refused to answer.
But I did say that I'd be equally upset if either of them died. Which she thought was ridiculous of course. She thinks she should be significantly more important to me just because she's human and Miko's a cat. She just doesn't get it!!
None of my friends would ever ask me that because they know the answer. The cats stay period. I've told my husband that if there was a fire here, he better figure on helping me get the cats out or I'll be out when they are and if he's outside when I get there, ok, if not then I'll go back for him. My cats depend on me and my husband have noone else to keep them safe. Your roommate isn't an animal person like you are and you need to let her know that you still want to be friends, but you need to know that your cat is going to be safe when you're not around. Most people I know think that animals are just that, animals and that hurts, but I can't change their minds anymore then they can change mine so we mutually respect each other and would never say hurtful things to each other. My cats are my kids, and I talk about them like they are too.
I say go for the new roommate, and wish the old one well. if she is your friend, then she will respect your decision.
Sounds like she WAS just hoping for the "cat problem" to "solve itself" by keeping the window open so she could be the centre of your life. Silly girl. Time to move on. Glad the potential roomie visit went well.
You open the window and i'll throw her because it certainly wouldn't be the cat thats for sure!.
Fancy coming out with that stupid comment though
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Originally Posted by fwan
This woman isnt your best friend.
Its time to move on and find another one!
My best friend in australia knows to never say those things
My best friend is NOT into cats and yet she always asks me how mine are going and so on. She would never say anything like that. In fact, she often shakes her head and compares them (and my dogs) to her children!! In terms of behaviour, of course...lol
I would agree with your decision to move. Your hope of saving your friendship with her lies in you moving out, because if you stay things will get to a point of no return.
Wow...I think she has some personal issues that she needs to address. Just an IMO
Sounds very self-centered to me and jealous of your cat because your cat is keeping her from getting 100% of your attention.
Even my cat/animal hating friends respect my feelings in regards to animals, most especially mine.
Even my cat/animal hating friends respect my feelings in regards to animals, most especially mine.
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Having been in terrible roommate situations,
stop fighting with her. I don't mean giving in, I mean, when she starts to pick a fight about something, say you have to go out for something, or say, can we talk about this later? If you have something to say, say it very calmly and try to make a bit of a joke. Do not, under any circumstances, start a fight. I think one of the main problems with living with someone you were friends with before is that when roommate issues come up, all this other crap gets involved, like "Oh you don't want to be my friend because I leave the window open". With people who are just roommates (like the other woman you met) this issue would likely be resolved with compromise and respect!
Please move out. You will be doing everyone, especially Miko, a favor.
Introducing two cats is not hard, and there is seasoned advice of all kinds all over the boards. There is no way to predict if they'll get along, though.
stop fighting with her. I don't mean giving in, I mean, when she starts to pick a fight about something, say you have to go out for something, or say, can we talk about this later? If you have something to say, say it very calmly and try to make a bit of a joke. Do not, under any circumstances, start a fight. I think one of the main problems with living with someone you were friends with before is that when roommate issues come up, all this other crap gets involved, like "Oh you don't want to be my friend because I leave the window open". With people who are just roommates (like the other woman you met) this issue would likely be resolved with compromise and respect!
Please move out. You will be doing everyone, especially Miko, a favor.
Introducing two cats is not hard, and there is seasoned advice of all kinds all over the boards. There is no way to predict if they'll get along, though.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #37
I just wanted to update you all on this issue and let you know that I moved out! Yay!
We solved the window issue by getting a screen for the window and door for the roommate's room, but that didn't solve her general attitude. After more recent fights about her jealousy over my new boyfriend, I'd had enough and moved back in with my parents (also much cheaper). Unfortunately my mom's allergic to cats, so for awhile Miko was living with boyfriend until I finally convinced my mom to let Miko live in my bedroom for awhile just to see how it goes.
Miko seems so happy and she's adjusted very well to being moved around twice in the past month.
I'm convinced she was aware of the tension in my old apartment. She's so much less anxious and skittish now that we're away from the cat-hating roommate. Yay!
We solved the window issue by getting a screen for the window and door for the roommate's room, but that didn't solve her general attitude. After more recent fights about her jealousy over my new boyfriend, I'd had enough and moved back in with my parents (also much cheaper). Unfortunately my mom's allergic to cats, so for awhile Miko was living with boyfriend until I finally convinced my mom to let Miko live in my bedroom for awhile just to see how it goes.
Miko seems so happy and she's adjusted very well to being moved around twice in the past month.
I'm convinced she was aware of the tension in my old apartment. She's so much less anxious and skittish now that we're away from the cat-hating roommate. Yay!
Good for you! You are much better off.
I totally understand...my college roommate use to kick my old cat Tigger out of her room. And Tigger was there before her! Evil. Sooo...to retaliate, he pooped on her things in her closet!!!
I totally understand...my college roommate use to kick my old cat Tigger out of her room. And Tigger was there before her! Evil. Sooo...to retaliate, he pooped on her things in her closet!!!
That's excellent news.
