Originally Posted by Russian Blue
What has surprised me to no end is how people will get into your personal business about this subject. First of all, it's a very personal decision to have or not have children.
I can relate to what your saying Russian Blue...only in the opposite way. We have been trying for 2 years. I had cervical cancer @ 19 and was told it would be harder to get pregnant. And I was so responsible in my younger days (28 now, married almost 4 yrs) with birth control and all...not wanting to bring a child up b4 I'm ready or out of wedlock.
But this is a very hurtful, sore, touchy, difficult subject for me. I have longed for children forever. Everyone I know has them...all my "little" sisters, all my friends...everyone. And everyone I know says "you'll be such a great mom!" As if they are helping. And I did it right, I waited, got married, travelled, then we decided after 2 yrs of marriage to get off birth control & nothing...all my sisters got pg young...1 had the shot-gun wedding, 1 got pg in college, 1 got pg @ 18 by a real jerk...
It's hurtful & freightening enough to not know whether you will ever have 1....the pressure from trying for 2 years...let alone people I barely know saying "when are you gonna have 1?" I feel like crying... not as a practical joke either! People don't realize that is not something you ask other people! I feel like screaming "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!" I mean it is my uterus right???
And then there's family..they mean well, but my dad wants a namesake...my sisters can't wait to give me their baby stuff. Everytime I see a baby it makes my heart ache.... and then to hear at every family function the curious...."well?" I'm like "well what?"
I believe that it is eveyones own decision to have or not to have kids...and some people should have that right taken away (abusers, neglecters, etc). But I hope that if I can't conceive I am ok with the way most of you are. It is inspiring that so many women are at peace with NOT having kids... And I hope that I can be at peace with whatever my fate is too...
PS...for anyone who has read my other threads, I do have a step-daughter, Jasmine (8yrs), I've been in her life since she was 2, and it's great, but not like having a baby grow inside you...experiencing the "miracle" of birth....being able to give my husband a son...feeling that connection...the flutters of someone kicking inside you...I want all that so badly...