Childless on purpose......is that what you always wanted?

The thing they should realise Tracy is the more they go on at you both to have them, the more you'll dig your heels in.

Theres nothing worse than pressure

Childless by choice, and both of us totally agree on that. Don't want kids! My sister never wanted kids, either, but she married into them in her second marriage so Mom got the grandkids. Dad's enjoyed the grandkids, too, and his fiance's oldest daughter has a 2 year old and one of the way so he gets to spoil at least one girl to spoil again.

I think the last time I thought I wanted kids was when I was 15. Then I was stupid and got pregnant (at 15/16 right around my birthday) and the realities smacked me in the face. After the miscarriage (first trimester), children have never really crossed my mind. And now that I have cats - well, they satisfy whatever maternal instincts I might have!

I honestly don't think my parents mind too much.
My six other siblings have given them more than enough grandkids and great grandkids.

Wow-I honestly didnt know there was that many ppl out there(on here) that doesnt have kids! I got pg at age 16(with my son) and it was really rought being that young! But my parents were there for me and I dont regret it one bit~and my daughter on the other hand, she was kinda unexpected, but once again I would never take it back! Some ppl just dont want kids and that is their personal choice. My sister is going on 32 and she doesnt have any kids, and my brother is 26 and he and his wife dont have any kids. Some ppl just arent the *parent* material, or what have ya, and no I am not saying that in a bad way I just think that theres some ppl that couldnt handle kids. Ok-sorry to just ramble....

I adore my daughter, and have no regrets about having her, but I never really expected to have kids. She is from a previous marriage, and my SO of 21 years, we are happily unmarried, do not have any together. It was a choice we made when we were still young enough for it to be an issue. I had my tubes tied shortly after we got together, and we have no regrets. He and my daughter love each other, and she was always enough for us. Now we have an adorable granddaughter. Oddly enough, I still don't like kids that are not mine, or that I have not known from birth.

Originally Posted by Tari

No...you aren't alone. I'm childless by choice, too.



Several people...including and especially my mother...have asked about why we don't have kids. Many have made the same kinds of comments about how I'm great with kids and would make a good mom, so they can't figure out why I don't want any. My personal pet peeves are the comments about how I'm in my late 30s and need to have kids so I'll have someone to take care of me in my old age.

Like that's any kind of reason to have a child.

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I totally agree. I have 4 kids, and no guarentee they will take care of me when I get old. And just being good with kids is no reason to give birth!

Originally Posted by Tari

(Incidentally, since I started having "female problems" about a year ago, I have a great way to deal with those rude people. When they make those kinds of statements I just get a stricken look on my face and rush out of the room as if I'm about to cry. They assume that I want kids and can't have them and they've stuck their foot in their mouth. That oughtta help teach them.)

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I'm sorry you are having trouble...but this is rich! So cruel..but totally what they deserve for trying to make you feel bad about your choices!!

I always wanted four, and luckily have them...but I totally applaud people who realize that they do not want kids of their own! Just because you have the ability to procreate, and the ability to be a fine parent doesn't mean you have to do it.

another voting for no children. At least I really don't want them now. I am 22 and I sure do have plenty of time to change my mind, but I have never had a desire to have children. Already some of my girl friends are talking about children. That's weird. OR, what it even worse! Both my mom and my boyfriend's mom have mentioned future children. You know that feeling of choking? Yeh, I get that whenever they bring up the topic. It totally freaks me out. They never mentioned it infront of my boyfriend so he though I was being silly until last Fall. His face was priceless! I thought he might die. We've been dating for 4 years, just now graduating college and it is terrible how our parents hint toward having babies. blah...

I never wanted kids, even when I was one and most little girls were dreamily saying they wanted 7 while clutching dolls. I still don't want any now. Therefore, I never plan to have any.

I posted my comment before... but had to add...

I love kids...really do. And kids love me... I do really well with them. But at this point in my life I don't foresee myslef in a delivery room pushing out a baby...

I just bought a minivan... for transport of me and the cats to Oregon next month. Last night, I picked up a few bumber stickers online... one of which is very [humorously] appropriate to this conversation.

It reads: "If I wanted to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on my cats."

So appropriate... and with my warped sense of humor, it just works. I didn't want a minivan, but it was in much better condition than the other vehicles I looked at. So hopefully this bumper sticker [plus the fact that the back bench seats will probably be stashed safely away from the vehicle] will keep folks from thinking I'm some Soccer Mom [not like someone ELSE being a soccer mom is a bad thing... just not for me].

Amanda

Both of my sons were unplanned but I never considered NOT having them. I love them dearly and my grandbabies are adorable.

If I had not been able to have children, I don't think that it would have bothered me, though. I would have still had a pretty good life.

The only time that I ever wanted another child, was after Russ died. Then, I wished that he and I COULD have had a baby, so that I'd still have a part of him. All things considered, its probably just as well, that we couldn't, as I would have been raising the child without Russ.

I don't really want to have kids either, I've said that for years (I'm 24). But lately I have been wondering if it will be lonely when I'm old without any kids or grandkids around to visit me? What if my husband dies before me and I'm all alone...That kind of makes me sad to think of having no family around when I get old.

I'm not sure that's a reason to have kids, but I just think about it sometimes.

Generally, most kids annoy me, and I think they are very selfish by nature. I know not all kids are, but that is my general opinion of them. I love my nieces to pieces though...I would be their gaurdian if anything happened to my sister.

I want kids but I'm very nervous about it. I'm 28, will turn 29 in Nov. I was thinking since I got married that I would start around age 30!. There is so much more traveling I want to do, and now that I actually have the time and money, hubby doesn't have the vacation time yet. We plan on seeing his dad in the phillipines next year, but I want to do more!! I'm ready now in that I have a 3 bedroom house and we both have good jobs. I'm worried about my patience with them- lately I listen a lot two theses mom at the grocery stores with kids that are having meltdowns!!
Anyway, I have one aunt that has no kids, but she has 2 step grandchildren and 14 nieces and nephews that she adores. She got married in her early 30s to an older man who had kids in their late teens. Now she's retired since about age 50, and they have done a ton of traveling and she spends a lot time with the nieces and her step-grands. My uncle is an old bachelor and has no kids, but us neices and nephews love him. My mom is from a fam of 8, so these are the only two that have no kids.

I dont want kids at the moment, i'm happy just working on my career for the time being . but i dont know what i'll want in the future, if i meet the right person etc who knows???

This is an interesting topic for me. I hope that my post comes across sincere. I respect your decision to not have children. Now, I am 28, and recently met a woman that chose not to have children. That was such a foreign concept to me, as I had just always, I suppose assumed, every woman in the world wanted children. I have to admit, I was taken aback at first. I guess my first thought was, she just didn't like children, or didn't understand them. I was very wrong, of course, I got to know her. She is great with kids, and my 2 children are no different.
I knew as a young girl, all the way up until I got married at 18 that I wanted children. I was pregnant just 3 months after we married. We now have been married almost 10 years, and have our 8 year old daughter, and our 5 year old son. (He will be 6 next month I have continued to be a happy stay at home Mom, since I was pregnant with my daughter.
My husband and I both are only children, and always hoped for a large family. We were blessed with 2 healthy children, and were not meant to have anymore children. It took me quite a few years to be happy with that, as it was not by our choosing, but now I am happy with the way life is, as is my husband.
I really didn't know until this post, how many had chosen to be child free. I love the bumper sticker that one of you shared. If my life had went in another direction, I know we would have the same bumper sticker.
I really enjoyed reading the responses from this thread, it is amazing how different we all are, but we can also respect one another choices, and learn from them.
For those of you with no kids, go give your kitty a hug for me.

Originally Posted by Trouts mom

I don't really want to have kids either, I've said that for years (I'm 24). But lately I have been wondering if it will be lonely when I'm old without any kids or grandkids around to visit me? What if my husband dies before me and I'm all alone...That kind of makes me sad to think of having no family around when I get old.

I'm not sure that's a reason to have kids, but I just think about it sometimes.

Generally, most kids annoy me, and I think they are very selfish by nature. I know not all kids are, but that is my general opinion of them. I love my nieces to pieces though...I would be their gaurdian if anything happened to my sister.

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I don't think having kids guarantees you won't be old and lonely someday. Certainly, my kids fill up my days, and will likely keep me busy forever. And I love them dearly, and highly recommend kids to anyone who sincerely wants them. BUT...you can build strong loving relationships with your nieces. Or the kids of friends. Or volunteer as a big sister...maybe that will end up bringing lifelong friendships.

At 24, you don't have to decide right now. But choosing not to have kids doesn't mean you will be lonely. Choosing to be a bitter selfish person is how to be lonely. So long as you build loving relationships with lots of different people, including some young people...you will never truly be lonely.

Growing up I always had the strong desire to have children. I actually got pregnant when I was quite young but had a miscarriage and never old anyone about the pregnancy. As we are getting older (me 27 and him 36), we have been together for over 8 years, we have both pretty well decided that we aren't going to have kids. We have always done everything in our power to guarantee to not get pregnant. Even though we do that there is always a thought back in my mind that I am not even sure I could even have them as I never did anything about the miscarriage and have never been checked to see if I can. Even though we both love kids, love being around them, get along great with almost anyone's children, and would spoil them rotten.... we have such strong feelings about how the world is today, how messed up things are getting (or how known it is now about how messed up the world is). We don't want to bring a child into this world that has to go through these things, to worry about how life is going to be for that child, if they will always have what they need. We don't have a lot of money and if we can't do it how we want, why make a child suffer. I have nephews and so does my DH. We do things with them and love them dearly. I have many friends with kids that I can get all the child fill I want and then give them back. Kitters is our child now and we are satisfied with it being that way. And boy oh boy is she spoiled!!!

So after my rambling I want to say I agree with you and understand completely!!!

That "pitter patter" bumper sticker made me crack up! I never wanted kids, in fact I was pretty anti-having kids. Heck, if anyone did a search of this website they would see I've even said I didn't want kids here. Now for the past several months I have really wanted to have at least one. I'm not really sure why the change of heart. I'm 26- so I went pretty decent amount of time with really not wanting kids. My mom says I want them because I got married, who knows! I know part of what made me not want kids is having endo. and facing the possibility that I might not be able to at a young age (I was told at around 16). Now I totally want a baby. It's so foreign to me. When DH and I were dating and engaged neither of us wanted kids. I wouldn't say he really wants to make an effort to have kids now, but he is no longer opposed to the idea. Thankfully that worked out. I never thought in a million years that I would ever want to have a child.

I totally support anyone's decision to not have kids or to have a large family, or anything in between. You have to go with your heart on the issue.

well i think its a personal decision weither to have kids or not. i am a mother of 2 gourgous girls and i wouldnt be without them and ive just become a single parent due to my marriage break down and my oldest daughter is special needs so its like havein 3 children in the house at times

We have never really wanted kids either.

I cant deny that now i am in my 40's i do think about it, but hey...if a woman of 63 can have a child through IVF then there is still a chance

Wow, I am surprised at the amount that are childless by choice. Not in a bad way, just surprised. No one should have a say in how anyone lives their lives. Me personally, I WANT to have children, but haven't found anyone to have them with. I know I don't need a man to do it, but what are my options? Either have random sex with a good looking stranger and hope it works on the first try and that I don't contract a disease, be artificially insemenated and pay thousands of dollars and hope it takes, or adopt, which they don't adopt kids to single mothers that aren't wealthy, I don't think, plus I'd really rather have a husband to raise them with. Pretty screwed if you ask me. I realize I have plenty of time, but personally I feel that time has almost run out. I don't want to be 40 with a newborn. Plus I want my mother to enjoy her grandchild or children before she gets too old to.