Childless on purpose......is that what you always wanted?

kittylover4ever

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
May 10, 2004
Messages
21,696
Purraise
16
Location
Ohio
When I was in my early twenties, I always just figured I'd have 2 or 3 full grown children by now, but in my heart, I just couldn't see it. My sister in law always comments on how kids love me and what a wonderful mom I would have made and what a shame it is that I didn't have kids of my own. Well, I know she means that as a compliment. I am very mothering to Jerry and the kits, but I don't regret not having children........ am I alone in this?

Of couse it's one thing if medically you can't have children, but I think it's an individual choice to have children. I don't think people should try to make you feel guilty for the choice that you make about this.
 

wellingtoncats

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 17, 2003
Messages
36,207
Purraise
24
Location
Wellington City, NZ
Susie, it most definitly is your choice.

I know I don't want to have children when I'm older. I want to be a teacher because I want to help raising other peoples children.

It's just MHO but I already feel the world is overpopulated.
 

lunasmom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
8,801
Purraise
12
Location
Jersey Shore
I haven't fully decided whether or not I want children. My thing is the idea of labor pains (and the fact that I faint at the sight of a needle), so I probably would consider adopting.

I know that B doesn't want children, so if we ever did break up it would probably because of if we want a family or not.
 

catfriend

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Dec 4, 2005
Messages
598
Purraise
1
Location
Stumptown
I have never wanted children either. Even as a little girl I had no interest in playing with baby-dolls. Instead I played with plastic dinosaurs and stuffed animals. I have carried my love of animals into my adulthood, but can't seem to find any homeless dinosaurs to adopt.

Catfriend
 

tari

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 8, 2005
Messages
3,714
Purraise
1
Location
Chicago suburbs
No...you aren't alone. I'm childless by choice, too.

I have a 21-year-old stepson who lived with us for about a year when he was 17. I love him to pieces, and our house was the weekend hangout for him and his buddies for years. The running joke was that I had no full-time kids, but I had about 10 part timers. I loved having them around, but never felt like I wanted kids of my own.

Several people...including and especially my mother...have asked about why we don't have kids. Many have made the same kinds of comments about how I'm great with kids and would make a good mom, so they can't figure out why I don't want any. My personal pet peeves are the comments about how I'm in my late 30s and need to have kids so I'll have someone to take care of me in my old age.
Like that's any kind of reason to have a child.

I wholeheartedly agree that it's an individual choice and nobody should try to make you feel badly about your choice. I think some people just can't see outside their own experience.

(Incidentally, since I started having "female problems" about a year ago, I have a great way to deal with those rude people. When they make those kinds of statements I just get a stricken look on my face and rush out of the room as if I'm about to cry. They assume that I want kids and can't have them and they've stuck their foot in their mouth. That oughtta help teach them.)
 

rosiemac

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 3, 2003
Messages
54,358
Purraise
100
Location
ENGLAND... LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY!
Never wanted them and never any regrets.

I'm like you Susie in that fact that kids get on fine with me which has had friends say that i would make a good mum, but then i tell them thats because at the end of the day i know i can give them back and do my own thing!.

Back in the 80's when i got married it seemed to be the norm that you had children and there didn't seem to be that many that didn't want them, but times have changed and theres more women concentrating on their careers now, and good for them!
 

sharky

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jan 30, 2005
Messages
27,231
Purraise
38
I wont put a child( human ) thru me ... I can have kids but shouldnt ... My fur and finned babies are enough...
 

katiemae1277

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Nov 28, 2005
Messages
20,445
Purraise
17
Location
NE OH
Well I'm only 28 right now, but I can honestly say that I don't really want children. I was like you Susie, and always thought that I would have kids, but as I've gotten older I've come to the realization that I don't really enjoy children, at least full-time
I know this is incredibly disappointing to my mother, as she REALLY wants grand-children, but knows that it is my decision. I tell her that she was such a great Mom that I know I could never live up to her so I'm not even going to try
there's always my sister
and I could be a great Aunt one day. The only thing that would change my mind is a man that I could see raising children with, cause I have extremely high expectations of what a father should be, and my ex fell very short of that anyway. If I should happen to get pregnant by accident, I will do my best to be the best mother possible, but I take precautions so hopefully that won't happen.
 

booktigger

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jun 11, 2005
Messages
4,520
Purraise
3
Location
UK
I don't want kids, and get fed up of the comments like 'when you meet the right person and settle down you will change your mind' - I dont feel like I will, I have no interest in raising a child, there is one very strong reason for it (that I wont go into on a forum), and I honestly think that is strong enough for me to never change my mind. I do have some friends who think that I am 'too into cats to ever have kids' and I think they may be right!!
 

gailc

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 18, 2004
Messages
11,567
Purraise
13
Location
Wisconsin
I'm also in the same category and the comments people make-esp relatives honestly!!! Like its not "too late"-whats up with that. I guess I never had that maternal urge-I inherited 17 nieces and nephews and now probably the smae amount of "grand nieces and nephews" so I enjoy them!!
 

arlyn

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 9, 2005
Messages
9,306
Purraise
50
Location
Needles, CA
37, no kids, and quite happy.
I have a better job, I am the favorite aunt of all my neices and nephews, both grown and juvenile.
 

sadie's mom

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Apr 10, 2006
Messages
1,068
Purraise
1
I'm also childless by choice. Funny, there seems to be more and more this mindset these days. However, if I could go from being childless to being a Grandmother and skip everything in between, I'd sign up for that!!!!!
 

white cat lover

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
22,206
Purraise
35
Me & kids! lol That would be a mistake. I don't even babysit. I do not have the patience to deal with kids. Dogs & cats don't smart off, they cannot help the things they do. Kids do bad things on purpose.

That & I always make babies cry.
I don't care for kids. They bother me.

Mom & dad already know they will have 4 legged grandkids, nothing else from me. I have 2 sisters & a brother, let them have 2 legged grandkids.
 

rubsluts'mommy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 1, 2005
Messages
2,211
Purraise
11
Location
On the west side of... of... somewhere.
when I was in my 20's I wanted that whole suburban idyllic dream: hubby, two kids, nice house...

then I got close to 30 and said, "forget this!" I realized it's not my dream... not my life. my parents want grandkids... not being pushy about it, though. I'm now 33... if I don't have a child of my own by, say, 36, then it's not happening.

Now, I'd adopt. If I hit 40 and decide I want to share my life with a child... I'll adopt... or foster. there are far too many children who need loving homes. In this country as well as others.

I'd adopt... but not a baby... I'd adopt a slightly older child. They're the ones who need the most love. Everyone wants a baby... what about the others?

Amanda
 

fwan

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,279
Purraise
2
Location
Australia
I actually see my self with a baby!

I do want children but only when i find a man that i love and want to share my life with.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #17

kittylover4ever

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
May 10, 2004
Messages
21,696
Purraise
16
Location
Ohio
Originally Posted by Tari

(Incidentally, since I started having "female problems" about a year ago, I have a great way to deal with those rude people. When they make those kinds of statements I just get a stricken look on my face and rush out of the room as if I'm about to cry. They assume that I want kids and can't have them and they've stuck their foot in their mouth. That oughtta help teach them.)
Sorry to hear about your female problems Tari, but I had to laugh when I read this!
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #18

kittylover4ever

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
May 10, 2004
Messages
21,696
Purraise
16
Location
Ohio
Glad to hear I'm not alone on this guys........thanks!
 

miss mew

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jul 3, 2005
Messages
13,668
Purraise
36
Location
Canada
Jeff and I have decided that we are having kids, and I think it's a very personal choice. No one should even have a say about it.

I know that we are even getting pressure from family (his not mine) to have kids right away, and it's annoying me!. It's none of their business and I have a career I'm more concerned with right now.

I applaud all of you that are doing what is right for you and your life!
 
Top