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Forced to give my cat to the shelter - Page 2

post #31 of 36
We are such smart women
post #32 of 36
Originally Posted by lionessrampant
If your husband is making open statements about abusing or killing your cat, my suggestion to you is to seek therapy IMMEDIATELY. Statistically, people that are willing to harm animals are also willing to harm humans. Had this been me, the cat would be with me and the husband would have a restraining order and would be dealing with my divorce lawyer.)
I totally agree with you on this. When we bring an animal into our home it is our job to protect them and keep them safe by any means. Im sorry that you were forced to make such a tough decision and hope that all ends well. It is more than evident that you love Penguin very much, as do all of us who bring these beautiful beings into our hearts and homes, bottom line they become family members, a part of who we are as their unconditionally loving caregivers. The comment made by your husband that if Penguin was not found a home you would find him dead or gone made me really upset. To see that your husband does not respect something that you care deeply about shows his minimal or altogether lack of respect for you as his wife. As others have said in previous posts, your husband's outright threats towards Penguin are a possible indication of human abuse down the line. I truly hope this is not the case. Also, the comment that you made about how he growls at your husband and has never liked him, maybe Penguin knew exactly what kind of a person your husband is, they seem more times than not to have an inate sense about these things. And just as you made it a point to protect Penguin, he also made it a point to protect you out of love and trust. Please keep us informed on this and I will pray for you and Penguin
post #33 of 36
I feel for you and Penguin. The letter you wrote is lovely and shows how much you care for him and lets the new owners know Pengiun's exact needs.

Is there any relative or friend that would take him in? (the cat not the husband). Then you can get to see him.

When I get into a relationship I make it clear that I am obssessed about 2 things.... cats and shopping. If the man don't like it, he knows where his bags are.
post #34 of 36
Originally Posted by CommonOddity042
Pudge used to do that to my boyfriend every morning when she was a kitten. He learned almost zen-like control and immediately went to pee when he woke up after a few weeks of that.
So, can we borrow Pudge? LOL

Seriously though, I hope you're coming back to read the responses even if you haven't responded, and I can understand how some of them might have been very frightening to you.

I posted this before but I just wanted to say it again in case you are reading this. Is there any way you can work out a temporary solution and then look for a way to work things out, such as having a good friend or family member take care of Penguin temporarily, maybe for 6 months, while you talk to your husband and maybe look into some help for the two of you to come to a better place together?

You can always still give Penguin up, but if you are able to come to a better understanding with your husband, since you love Penguin so much, you still have the option of taking her back. I would hate to see you forced to do anything you might end up regretting later, and making choices that end up in permanent losses right now, be it Penguin or your marriage.

Please consider this option and see if you can get some help in working out a better solution. One thing people have said that is 100% true, this will not be the only time he will do this. The more control you allow him on your life, the more he will try to take in the future.

You deserve to have an input into your life together. It should not be a 1-way decision making process with the cat or anything else.

Please come back and talk to us. If you need to talk or vent, please feel free to even PM me, okay?

I wish the best for you.
post #35 of 36
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. One thing my mom says over and over is that she wished she would have chosen her dog over my dad- and she's totally serious. My dad made similar threats to her dog and my mom, so my mom gave him away. She considers it one of the greatest mistakes of her life. My dad turned out to be very abusive.
post #36 of 36
This is a heartbreaking thing to read. As a woman who was in an abusive marriage for 15 years to an extremely sick man I am going to say something to you that I hope you will take to heart. Do not bring that cat back into that house. I also think that you should seriously think about having children in this marriage. His problem with this particlular cat is clear to me, you have a special bond with Penguin. There is history there, he is not a part of your relationship with him and he feels like you love that boy so much that it is a threat to his CONTROL over you. He felt that the only way he could gain complete control over you was to remove the cat from your life. The best way for him to do this and to exercise HIS AUTHORITY AND CONTROL OVER YOU AND YOUR EMOTIONS AND YOUR MIND was to make you get rid of that cat that you loved so much. You did and it was a wize decision for Penguin's sake. Now, that you have protected your beloved pet, please, find help for yourself. Every major city has a Battered Womens Shelter that offers counseling and many times it is free. You need to understand the power and control that your husband is demonstrating in your relationship, and the extent that he will go to in order to keep you doing what he wants you to do.

I know I sound harsh, but this is a man that was threatened by a 10-15 pound fluffy furry white kitty to the point that he threatened to harm it. How is he going to feel about an infant that takes up all of your time, your energy, and is nursing from your body that he considers his.

I too hope the best for you, I got free and found a wonderful life. I know that your kitty will find the best home available with that loving note you sent with him. All will be well. Just remember.....nothing will change until the pain of where you are is greater than the fear of where you are going. Life is beautiful, even with its challenges, don't be afraid of living it.

Love, amy jo
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