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post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
HI everyone,

I've really missed this section of the forums but haven't really been able to look here until now again.

Its been about 3 1/2 weeks since I lost my kitten but Yen is doing really well.
I think that what happened was for the best because Yen is a whole different cat. She wondered around and followed me for two weeks straight. This experience really bonded us and she trusts the whole family so much more. I think she knows that I was just trying to help her babies and did my best.

I'm doing much better now. I was really sad but not I can think of my kitties with out getting upset again so that is good.

I'm still debating getting a foster. I would really love to but I don't know how it would affect Yen. I may just adopt a kitten from the shelter instead to keep because your not allowed to keep the kittens you foster and I was planning to keep Hitomi and Yuki as full time members of the family.

What do you guys think I should do??? I'm still looking for guidence from people who have more experience with these situations.

post #2 of 3
I'm really glad to hear you're feeling and doing better, and that your bond with Yeni has strengthened. Time does help heal, as cliche as it is.

My opinion would be to try and foster first for a few reasons.

First, since you would be working with a foster group, and it didn't work out with Yeni you would not have to worry about what to do, and it gives you a lot of freedom. They don't want their cats in places where there might be trouble as well, so they would have no problem (and it would not look badly for you).

You would have to proably keep them apart once the kittens are born, and for the first few weeks at least. Then, depending on Yeni and the queen, you might be able to let them all play together. It's up to you. I do know that when I had Fuzz and got Deja Vu, they had to be separated. (Sadly, Fuzz had to be put to sleep a few weeks later).

However, when I had Deja Vu and Rockette, and I fostered Fiona and her 3 babies, I could leave them play togeher when I was there (I would separate them when I wasn't).

However you always have the option of returning the foster to the group if it doesn't work out, and it also gives you the opportunity to see how Yeni deals with other kittens.

You are also in a situation where you are in school, and you don't know where your life will be in a few years, and fostering also gives you a lot more options.

The biggest difference to me is that fostering, although a responsibility, has more options than making a lifetime commitment to a kitten.

Plus you get the experience, if you can get a pregnant queen, of having and helping to raise the babies, and it might help you come to terms with Yeni's babies, perhaps a way of giving something back in their honor.

You can always easily go from fostering to getting your own kitten. It's not as easy, if you make a commitment and get a kitten of your own, to change if you find it doesn't work out.

So I'd recommend for now going with what gives you the most freedom, as well as experiences that will help you make a more definite and committed decision in the future.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
post #3 of 3
I am glad to see you here and I hope you continue on the road to healing
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