When a cat is dying...

With all three cats I've had pass, all with different personalities, they all wanted to comfort and to be close. Shirley was my moms cat and died when I was 11. I had pulled this cats tail so many times as a baby, she wanted nothing to do with me. During her last few days, I was the only one home all the time (summer break and parents worked) and she wanted nothing but cuddles from me. She was 16 and died of old age. I remember my mom coming home one day during lunch and just laying with Shirley for hours before taking her to the vet that night. She didn't come back. My mom was a wreck for weeks. Then there was the recent passing of my cat Mittens. I got Mittens when I was 2, and he was an outdoors cat. He would bring us snakes and mice and all kinds of things. When he got to be 18, he had lost all his teeth and had arthritis and went blind (we think). We think he might have been deaf too, when we called he wouldn't answer until we touched him, then he got happy to see us. He never liked the indoors but he did during his last few weeks. He never wanted held usually or that much attention, but he was a loyal cat and in his last few days, all he wanted was to sleep on someone's lap or be held like a baby. He would climb on my lap when I was sick and now that I had moved out and my own baby, I was sad I couldn't have been there more for him. My mom called me the day he died and I rushed over but I was too late. I held his little kitty body for a long time before finally taking him to the vet. We had him cremated, just like Shirley, and both their ashes are in little urns at my moms house. Then there was Pumkin, who I posted about in Crossing the Bridge...this was very tragic to me for some reason, I did all I could and more for this cat. He followed me around the house and when I wasn't there, would sleep on a pile of clothes on my bed. That's where I found him one day when I came home, ironically I had left work early to take him to the vet to end his suffering. So it might be different for all cats, but all three of mine wanted attention and love. It makes me sad to think they were probably scared but I know they all went peacefully and loved for a very long time

mittygirl said:

I am sorry to hear this. It's a tough call because if they pass in their sleep it is peaceful however, if they pass awake it appears to be painful and suffering and it is a sad experience to witness. I would get an opinion from a vet. I will never forget the appearance of Mitt suffering until the end. I would have rather have her euthanized peacefully.

 

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I'm so sorry what you had to go through....I will always feel bad for not letting my mom take my mittens to the vet...I was at a doctors appt on the other side of town but she knew he was my cat and would want to go with me so she waited even though the vet was down the street....he passed a couple minutes before I got there and she said he convulsed a couple times and cried then started purring and passed quickly after...it almost makes me never want to get another cat because I know I'll outlive them and have to go through their death but the companionship I got from mittens and that i get from all my cats is irreplaceable.

When it was time for my cat to be euthanized, I called a local specialist and had him come to my house. It was so much nicer for him to go while in his favorite place than it would have been to do it at the clinic with all the dogs barking around him and amidst all the strange smells. At the beginning of that day, he went off and isolated himself under a tree behind a bush, and I knew that he had gone their to die in peace. But since he was in so much pain, I decided to take him back to the house and get it over with rather than leave him to suffer for who knows how long it would take. Today I am having a different experience - my less independent cat has refused food for the last 7 days but seems to crave human company. I have taken him to the vet twice, of course - but their diagnosis led them to prescribe some meds and wait to see if he eats. My parents, both of who are medical professionals, said that when people die they often refuse food just like my cat is doing. They said it isn't painful for them, but rather part of the process of dying. After 15 years, I feel pretty lucky that it isn't ending with him injured or in pain. But it does feel like a family member is dying, so the pain and heartache is still overwhelming in the worst way. For some reason I can't understand, sharing my experience is making me feel better. I think having empathy and support during these times is as essential for caregivers as comfort and peace and quiet is for the poor little kitty.

I picked Judy up from the Humane Society about 6 months ago.  They insisted she must see a vet and I complied, but wish I had not.  Judy is very old and will not live much longer.  She has hyperthyroid, kidney failure, bad teeth and who knows what else.  She did quite well on holistic meds and actually gained a pound in weight.  Then I was persuaded to use Tramadol which made her throw up and probably finished off her kidneys.  The last time we were at the vet she prescribed antibiotics, an anti acid and an appetite stimulator as well as the Tramadol.  She also instructed me on giving sub-dermal fluids which were torture for this poor, dying creature.  At this point, I have taken her off all the chemical meds and I am letting her expire in her own good time at home.  She is not in pain, just sleeps a lot and does not eat or drink very much.

I understand that most cats seem to know when they are dying and they begin to wander about, looking for a place to literally "leave" their body.  I think Judy was doing this 6 months ago when she was found wandering about and taken to the shelter.

When I ask myself; "Would I want to be kept artificially alive by having a big needle stuck in my back every day?"  The answer is NO, so why would I do it to a defenceless animal.

I have a book that has been of great comfort to me and others who have lost a pet.  Animals and the Afterlife - http://www.animalsandtheafterlife.com/ - I also believe our animal companions come back to us.

When a cat is dying they try to hide. I had 4 cats that were very sick and they all tried to hide, that's one way I knew it was time for them to pass over the rainbow bridge.

Toniann

someone very spiritual ones told me. god sees through the eyes of all the little babies  that cross over the rainbow bridge they are pure. without sin. and special through the eyes of god. just like a child without sin. there is a bridge that they cross. and its wonderful their. no more pain. they will be loved. and waiting for us to hold them again in air arms. may god bless each and every one of you…...

My Taboo Kitty was 18 when he passed over a year ago. This website was a wonderful support network to exchange experiences and emotions related to that then/upcoming loss. Thank You all so much!
Since that loss, I realized that silly cat had become the glue of my life. I got divorced, and relocated to keep a better relationship with my HUMAN mother. Now her Shih Tzu is almost 10 and could very well be reaching his end of life (long story; hint: never get a pure bred puppy mill dog, not only is it unethical. The animals are born with genetic tendency to disease and shorter lifespans.
Wishing you all and your beloved animals a Happy Weekend/month/year filled with unconditional joy and love

When i saw the title of this thread my eyes teared up. I hesitated about posting as the feelings and memories are so raw.  Over the past 40 years many of my feline family members have passed on. Some, far too soon for their years. Froeder 17 1/2. Two Bit 10, Maggy Mouse 10, Elmo 17 1/2 , DaisyMae 7, Maxwell Cat 10? and only two months ago, my beloved Rosie.  I do know how old Rosie was when she passed as she had been a cat who was rescued from up a tree by my neighbor. She was in rough shape - not neutered, worms, fleas, malnourished, blind in one clouded over eye, frightened and dirty.  She was my permanent foster - she was with me for just short of three years and ultimately died of lung cancer.  Three years with her, although she was sometimes a bit feisty and temperamental. was far too short.

Rosie  was a cat who clearly came from a hard life - she was fiercely territorial and did not like other cats much. A petite 8 pounds (small cat who plumped up in the three years she was with me) but she terrorized my 16+ pound male iggy and my sweet 10 pound zoey.  Over the three years, Rosie became somewhat more friendly and more relaxed, but she remained more of a loner than my other cats and she was somewhat unpredictable and sometimes very disagreeable and cranky - but what I remember most is her sweetness and that look on her face when she was happy. My Rosie was a fighter and a survivor and she learned skills to help her survive and defend herself.  It was her feistiness that allowed her to stay alive during her earlier years. She had clearly been someone's house cat who had not been treated well and then let out or tossed out into the street to fend for herself.   From her behavior it appeared that other cats had beaten her up and she had to fight for food. She was afraid of fast hand movements and would often attack your leg she  as you walked past her.  While I will never know, I suspect she had been abused by humans. Perhaps her lack of vision in one eye caused her to startle easily.  I tried to make noise before passing her and often took a different route so I would not startle her as I walked by. 

 Two nights before she was euthanized, she laid down beside me on my bed and let me pet her while she purred contentedly and she stayed the night. This was so radically different from her normal behavior and I knew the end of her life was near. I stayed up most of that night, talking to her and petting her as she slept. She had not been eating well for days, but that night she finished a bowl of food. I wanted to be hopeful but I knew this was not a good sign.

I want to think that in the end she knew she was loved and she put her fear aside and sought comfort from someone who adored and cherished her and had done everything possible to make her well, sparing no time, no effort or expense to make her whole again.  I vigilantly watched her each and every hour until the following night when she was clearly not doing well and had taken a turn for the worse and I did not want her to suffer. At 3 am on Sunday morning we rushed her to an emergency vet care clinic in NYC (I live in NJ), The news was as I expected and dreaded. My regular vet was several blocks away and when he arrived at 7 am he saw her and my sweetie and I sat beside her as we let her passed on.  I stroked her fur and wept into her side and murmured, please know that you were loved, please know that you were always safe with me and please forget everything else -- you will be in my heart forever until we meet again.  Rest in peace my beloved Rosie -- I am grateful to have been able to give you a few years of life where you were loved and cared for and I hope and pray that these three years helped erase some of the pain and suffering you had that came in the time before you joined my family.  Forever in my heart and in my thoughts, my beloved Rosie. 

I know from experience, that it really depends upon the cat, and also the relationship you 2 shared. Sorry about fatty, one night my chagrin did not come home from across the street at his buddy's house. Went over and found out he left a while ago. Never saw him, for almost 2 weeks. My Py was upset, then one morning we had the porch door open, and we heard this pitiful meow, py went out then looked up(we had that netting across porch) and there he was. Bloody, couldn't walk, got him down, went to our vet... He had been hit by a car(tire marks), and some big animal had tried to make him it's meal. He had broken hip growth plates, broken hip(2 places), ribs, missing skin....a big mess...... the vet said he'd be ok since we found him. If he had not come home, he'd be dead, she said.........12 yes later........ he is a happy healthy Siamese who has saved my life by detecting a M R S A virus in my leg and was moving to my heart and up............. he came home, I saved him......... and he has saved me..... and still does......... he is a great pal........K

tomtomtigersays said:

I'm new here, hope you don't mind my jumping in ...


two moves back, we lived in an area where there was an active TNR program, so we set up a feeding station at our place, and helped with trapping. we had just rescued our girl cat, Sashi, at the time, and we made friends with the many other abandoned pets, and ferals, who came to eat. we put out soft towels and blankets for them to sleep on and two of them, a girl, Cosette, and a boy, Lonnie, decided they would call our yard and porch home. they were friendly and vocal, but didn't want to come in the house.


one evening I noticed the boy was lying very low on one of beds I had made up on the porch, not at all his usual jaunty self. he let me, for the first time, get really close and even run my hands over him, whereupon I discovered he'd been badly injured. the vet who was volunteering spay and neuter that weekend agreed to take the cat and do more than the neuter, if he could.


well, it turned up that the poor cat had been stabbed, in the belly, and the vet thought he wouldn't make it, so the TNR crew asked if we would take the poor litte fellow in and comfort him 'til he passed, most likely a day or two.


of course we said yes. so for the next few days, he lay in the nest of blankets we made for him, and I sat by him, stroking him, telling him he was loved, and giving him water and any liquid food he would take, just off my fingers, as well as some antibiotics that a friend got for us (the vet thought there was no point, but we all thought to make Lonnie as comfortable as possible, no need for infection, too).


well, he didn't die, after all! and he stayed so close to me all the time he was sick and then while recovering, and to this day, he and I are best pals, and he likes to be near and close.


always the glad gypsy before he was stabbed, loving the life of the open road, and all his cat pals, one might have thought he would have "gone to ground" when so mortally wounded, but instead he came to our door, and then stayed near (often in my lap) until he was well again.


he is a great little soul, cheerful and sweet tempered, and a wonderful friend; somehow he decided, before he really knew us, in his moment of desperate need, to come to us - how and why, I really don't know. but I am very grateful every day that he did.


oh, and as for Cosette? when we moved house, we tried mightily to take her along, but she'd have none of it ... she'd already decided, as we later found out, that her place was with another of the TNR crew, lol.

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Any photos?

I feed several cats that come for am.and pm. feed. I have an indoor cat that I rescued.

About 2 weeks ago a can came to my window as I wast typing and would stare at me and meow. He looked mean, but now I think he was in pain. I opened the door and he wanted to stay in the house. Never had seen this cat but he wanted to stay by my feet. I put him out and he was alway persistent about coming in the house and staying in the same room with me.

I noticed he did not look so good. He was weak acting and lethargic. After about two weeks I took him to the vet. Since he was kind of wild, he flew out of the cage. Before they caught him the doctor said they  would have to catch him and sedate him for him to be examined.

My REGRET was I LEFT, not knowing how ill he was. The doctor called and said he had feline leukemia and HIV and had other things going on, a marble sized tumor in his mouth, and his intestines were thickened and that he would not get any better.  I told the doctor to go ahead and put him to sleep. I AM SICK. i FEEL I BETRAYED HIM. HE CAME TO ME FOR HELP AND I TOOK HIM TO BE PUT TO SLEEP.  That is all I can say, I feel awful.

I may should have let him die naturally. The tumor in his mouth was probably whey he would rush to be fed, but did not eat much. I hope and pray i did the right thing. Only 2 weeks of knowing this loving creature.

guilty or did the right thing. I do not know.

Nan

He came to you for help and that is exactly what you did, you ended his suffering which was helping in every sense of the word. Life itself with awful suffering is NO life!

Any Cat that I've ever had die on me always wanted to be as close to me within reach as they possibly could & any that I've had to have euthanized because they were incurably sick & dying, but refusing to leave me behind, I held close to me at the vets office until they passed within seconds of being humainly euthanized. I believe in hanging onto a let as long as possible up to the point of suffering & if they're suffering from either tragedy or an incurable illness then I believe the humane thing to do is to relieve their suffering via euthanization which is instantly quick & painless for the pet but I make sure the last person/thing they see is me the person who loved them so much.

bonepicker said:

He came to you for help and that is exactly what you did, you ended his suffering which was helping in every sense of the word. Life itself with awful suffering is NO life!

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I agree. He was obviously in a lot of pain being so sick like that. I believe he knew he could look for help in you and you did a kind thing by ending his suffering. Who knows how long he would have had, but it would have been painful and pitiful being out there on his own. In a way you did rescue him from that lingering death. I know it's not easy, and it's not a happy ending, but you were there for him in the end.

prognosis8 said:

 
I feed several cats that come for am.and pm. feed. I have an indoor cat that I rescued.

About 2 weeks ago a can came to my window as I wast typing and would stare at me and meow. He looked mean, but now I think he was in pain. I opened the door and he wanted to stay in the house. Never had seen this cat but he wanted to stay by my feet. I put him out and he was alway persistent about coming in the house and staying in the same room with me.

I noticed he did not look so good. He was weak acting and lethargic. After about two weeks I took him to the vet. Since he was kind of wild, he flew out of the cage. Before they caught him the doctor said they  would have to catch him and sedate him for him to be examined.

My REGRET was I LEFT, not knowing how ill he was. The doctor called and said he had feline leukemia and HIV and had other things going on, a marble sized tumor in his mouth, and his intestines were thickened and that he would not get any better.  I told the doctor to go ahead and put him to sleep. I AM SICK. i FEEL I BETRAYED HIM. HE CAME TO ME FOR HELP AND I TOOK HIM TO BE PUT TO SLEEP.  That is all I can say, I feel awful.

I may should have let him die naturally. The tumor in his mouth was probably whey he would rush to be fed, but did not eat much. I hope and pray i did the right thing. Only 2 weeks of knowing this loving creature.

guilty or did the right thing. I do not know.

Nan

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You did the right thing. Please know that. Cats are very intuitive and are excellent judges of character. He came to you because he knew you would help him and he was right. You helped ease his suffering and you helped him find peace. Who knows how long he would have suffered if you hadn't stepped in and gotten him help? It's human nature to feel guilty at a time like this but you really did do him a favor.

You did the best for him - you ended his suffering. There was unfortunately nothing that you could do to make him better. Without your help, he would have suffered miserably.  While it is not what you would have wanted  it was the kindest act of love you could give this dear sweet cat.  You were his angel. I am so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace dear sweet kitty.

Reading some of these stories is very hard for me.  I'm somewhat of an emotional person and I can't help feeling sad about some of this.  It doens't help either that my mother put one of our cats to sleep behind our backs because I told her she either needed to deal with her, or put her to sleep.  Misty had thyroidism and kept going to the bathroom outside the box.  I only said that to my mother because my mother has a tendancy to do things for her own comfort and take the easy way out, but knowing my mother I should have realized she would have taken the easy way out.  She hadn't even been diagnost but a few days and my mother was sick of giving her medicine.  I am not blameless in this as I should have said I'd give her the medicine, but I was so angry with my mother that I didn't stop to think about Misty like I should have.  Me and my brother didn't even get closure.  She took her and put her to sleep, and didn't even bother to stay to comfort her, or get her ashes.  The saddest part of all of it was my mother completely regretted the decision.  She said she felt that by putting her to sleep she wouldn't have to deal with the medication every day.  I feel so much regret because if ONLY I hadn't said that to shake my mother, Misty would be alive.  I know there is nothing I can do about it.  I miss her dearly and reading these stories scares me when I have to deal with my now oldest, Matty who is nearly 13.  She is very healthy and very friendly and loving.  But the mere thought of my world without her hurts and makes me sad.  I know I cant stop death.  I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through that day.  I was absolutely devistated when I lost Misty, though I suspect it's because I didn't have closure.  She was sitting on my bed one day, and the next she was no where.  Even typing this I'm in tears I feel aweful.  But no I must be strong because that is life I suppose.  I do have a 1 year old kitten to think about as well.  Owning pets is hard sometimes.  I love them but there are times when I wonder if it's the best thing to do.  Knowing one day they will be gone.  I guess I'm torn I love animals but I get too emotional.

That is very sad everything gets old or sick eventually and needs medications. Animals are a commitment for life! I feel your sadness.

PostFetalPhase said:

I was just wondering today, when a cat is dying (and I know that a lot of cat deaths involve cars and things so this isn't applicable to those), if it had the oppurtunity, would it seek out human companionship? I know it probably has to do with the individual cat's personality, but I was wondering if there was a tendency for normally affectionate cats to seek solitude when very ill... or if normally shy cats seek company.

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I know this post was a while back but I just found it and say how I feel.

I believe they would. I know my Raven did. When he was poisoned, he came inside and collapsed at my feet. He never left me and I him. When I did leave the room, he would yell at the top of his lungs until I returned. We laid on the floor so the other cats could say good bye and so he could be with his family.

That night I took him to bed with me like any other night and when he slept, although not peacefully, I slept. He put is paw on my face at 4 am and softly mewed. I told him it was ok if he left that I would be alright. George would meet him at the Rainbow Bridge and show him around. We laid there for several minutes looking into each others eyes until he passed. He was in my arms.

So yes they look for companionship. If they know they are truly loved they seek out those who love them.

** I would like to say that this was on a Sunday evening and we do not have any emergency vets in my area, so all I could do was offer love and comfort.**

My cat Potchi just last Monday and it broke my heart. I really miss him so much! Thanks for all the post...it relieved my pain.