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Well...it's time....and I am so sad...

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
For those of you who have been reading my thread and helping me so much on trying to make Molly a part of our home you know that nothing has worked and we have come to grips with the fact that she needs to be elsewhere to be happy - a home with no other cats. Well - I've found someone to take her for me - a local feline rescue is going to take her to an adoption event they are having in eastern Mass this Saturday and I have to meet with them tonite to give her up. I have to say that I have been bawling like a baby since the phone call (even though the call was a good one - she will be getting help) and I haven't even had to give her up yet. I was reading through the new postings and saw the one in the cat lounge - what makes you cry.....well this is it. This is why I could never be a foster home. She's only been with me for 3 months and I am about to lose it here. I'm sitting in my cubicle at work right now crying as I type this - what a wimp! It's not just the missing her that bothers me, it's wondering what will happen for her next. Will she be in a loving home? Will they treat her good? Will they yell at her or be mean to her? It's not knowing that's killing me! I may as well have adopted a child and as with a child - I would want to meet the "new parents", interview them, grill them with questions, inspect their home, talk to their friends and family.... Am I nuts? It's a cat! But I feel like it's a child. Have I lost my mind? I'm not sure I can just hand her over to some stranger tonite. Even the lady at the rescue must think I"m crazy - I kept repeating her likes and dislikes over and over again and she was like - I know, I know. She must think I"m cuckoo.
That and just to put the icing on the cake - (timing couldn't have been better!) - my boyfriend of many years and I broke up 2 months ago but have remained close friends (a little closer than we should have been probably) and just this week I have found out that I think he has a new girlfriend. Even though we were just friends and I knew this day would come (and we probably shouldn't have been spending as much time together as we were) - the timing sucks and I'm actually not handling the news as well as I thought I would. We were together for over 8 years. That's a long time. I thought I would be able to accept him with other people, but I have come to reality that I can't, it's still too soon. Which now means losing a best friend until I am ready to accept it. It was the look in his eyes when he received a message from her that said it all - that look use to be reserved for me.
Anyways - I guess it's just been a rough past few days for me all around and I am counting the days until May (I am hoping the warmer weather and a new month will give me a new outlook)
post #2 of 13
(hug) Sorry that everything is going haywire for you right now. I relate to the sadness of giving up a pet you've bonded with. I take in stray kittens, get them vetted, socialize them, and have them posted to rescue sites when I feel they're adoptable. The very last one I've done was such a quirky little fellow, that I've been thinking about him every day. I miss him greatly, but he went to an excellent home, and is thriving, so I do not stay sad for long.

I hope that Molly finds an excellent home. Sorry it did not work out. (hug)
post #3 of 13
Wow, what a heartbreaking time for you . Though you're doing the right thing for Molly, I can understand why you're so sad/anxious/etc. Would the animal rescue group let you hang out at the adoption event and talk to Molly's potential new parents? I think that'd be the absolute most fair thing.

That really stinks about your ex. After so long together, it's easy to see why you'd be upset over him being with someone new (we always know the day will come but we're still never ready for it). Just remember- YOUR day will come when YOU'll find someone new who will give you that same look that your ex is giving this other chick .
post #4 of 13
Hang in there Lisa and I hope the latest with your ex makes you stronger. Nobody likes to be close to that kind of situation, so it's understandable how it would bother you.
post #5 of 13
I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time...I guess it's true what they say "when it rains it pours". Sending you a big hug
post #6 of 13
Oh I'm so sorry. Perhaps you can ask to be told the family that Molly goes to?

When Molly has gone though, perhaps you should try doing something new, take a dance or art class or get involved with a volunteer group... something that you'll meet new people and be able to move on from your ex too.

post #7 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
Would the animal rescue group let you hang out at the adoption event and talk to Molly's potential new parents? I think that'd be the absolute most fair thing.
I would love to go and meet them, but she will be traveling with a big group to the eastern part of the state for a an adoption event there. It is over 3 hours away and we are tied up all day Saturday and wouldn't be able to make it until late afternoon and by then I'm sure we'd be too late.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaleetha
Oh I'm so sorry. Perhaps you can ask to be told the family that Molly goes to?

When Molly has gone though, perhaps you should try doing something new, take a dance or art class or get involved with a volunteer group... something that you'll meet new people and be able to move on from your ex too.

Maybe I can find out what family she goes too, but as with childrens adoptions, I probably won't get to know much more about them or visit them.
As for meeting new people - I've already tried the gym thing and that's not working out so well. I also volunteer for our city's soccer club - again - not working out so well. I'm doomed.

Well - it's time for us to go......bye Molly....
post #8 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisasha3
I'm doomed.
Don't think that! If you've hit a low, things can only get high

I have a good idea of how you feel. We adopted a cat (Whitey) almost 4 weeks ago and its been really hard and a huge adjustment to our cats. We like him so much though that we keep making excuses NOT to give him up. I know I would cry too if we do make the hard choice.

As for your ex, I'm so sorry to hear he's dating again. Maybe take a vacation? Someplace warm just to relax and unwind?
post #9 of 13
Many, many to you.
I had to make a smiliar decision last year with one of our kitties Milo, it was for the best for all the kitties, but it was so terribly hard....even now I still still feel tears wanting to start just writing about it.
post #10 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisasha3


Maybe I can find out what family she goes too, but as with childrens adoptions, I probably won't get to know much more about them or visit them.

Well - it's time for us to go......bye Molly....
I foster for a great agency, and can tell you that cat adoptions are usually totally different than child adoptions. As you know from reading posts here...people tend to be extremely curious about their kitty's life before they adopted them. The same kind of questions you are asking about her future family...was the previous family kind or mean to her? Was she yelled at, or gently chastised? Etc. They want to share info!

Telling the foster lady her likes and dislikes won't do very much good...because they handle such large numbers of kitties, it is hard to remember specifics. Write a brief (1/2 page at most) bio of Molly. Let them know the important stuff...not good with other kitties (for example). Also, is she good with kids or dogs, or is that unknown? What are here major likes and dislikes.

I know how you are feeling...I had a foster Sugartoes here for 7 months, and the day she was finally adopted was great, because she found a forever home, but also crushingly sad...because I missed her so much! But I knew I didn't have room for her...and she just didn't fit in my family. She didn't really like my cats (bullied them, to be honest). And she was hostile towards my foster kittens. If it had been just me and her, she would have been the perfect cat for me...but she didn't fit with my fur family. And now she is in a perfect loving home.

Be sure to give your e-mail address on the bio. Enclose a pic or two if you can, and let them know you would love to hear that she is doing ok once she settles in. Also...remember, sometimes it takes many adoption shows for a kitty to find the perfect family...so maybe you will get Molly back home for another week or two?!?
post #11 of 13
Logic never does make it feel any better does it? I really like Beckiboo's suggestions if the rescue agrees. We got Carly a little over a year ago and know absolutely nothing about her. She had some sort of injury when she was younger and her tail has no function. But she is the sweetest cats I know.
post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
I foster for a great agency, and can tell you that cat adoptions are usually totally different than child adoptions. As you know from reading posts here...people tend to be extremely curious about their kitty's life before they adopted them. The same kind of questions you are asking about her future family...was the previous family kind or mean to her? Was she yelled at, or gently chastised? Etc. They want to share info!

Telling the foster lady her likes and dislikes won't do very much good...because they handle such large numbers of kitties, it is hard to remember specifics. Write a brief (1/2 page at most) bio of Molly. Let them know the important stuff...not good with other kitties (for example). Also, is she good with kids or dogs, or is that unknown? What are here major likes and dislikes.

I know how you are feeling...I had a foster Sugartoes here for 7 months, and the day she was finally adopted was great, because she found a forever home, but also crushingly sad...because I missed her so much! But I knew I didn't have room for her...and she just didn't fit in my family. She didn't really like my cats (bullied them, to be honest). And she was hostile towards my foster kittens. If it had been just me and her, she would have been the perfect cat for me...but she didn't fit with my fur family. And now she is in a perfect loving home.

Be sure to give your e-mail address on the bio. Enclose a pic or two if you can, and let them know you would love to hear that she is doing ok once she settles in. Also...remember, sometimes it takes many adoption shows for a kitty to find the perfect family...so maybe you will get Molly back home for another week or two?!?
Thanks. I actually did write a bio for Molly - I typed up a 1/2 page bio for her with the cutest photo on it and wrote it from Molly's perspective, but what I forgot to do as you suggested was put my e-mail address on there. Maybe I can e-mail the actual bio to one of the ladys I dealt with and add my e-mail address so they can distribute copies at the event. We actually didnt' get a chance to discuss Molly's forever home last night and what I could or couldn't find out about it because by the time we were ready to do that I was bawling like a baby and my two kids were behind me crying in the car. The lady knew she had to usher her out of there soon to try to make things easier on us. I had asked my girls if they wanted to say goodbye at home or come with me and they wanted to take the car trip, so we were all a mess on the way home.
That and to top things off again! The meeting place was less than a mile from my X's house and I had to drive by there twice and see a strange car in the driveway I had never seen before! Then we get home and my daughters boyfriend dumped her and she got in a fight with one of her good friends. So.....the three of us sat at the table together - depressed, crying, and eating French Fries and Ice Cream. Last night my girls learned the meaning of "comfort food".

Here's hoping today is much better....
post #13 of 13
I wish I could say more, but right now I am sending lots and lots of (((hugs))) your way from across the ocean
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